The 10 Commandments of Southern Writers

Southern writer F. Diane Pickett is the author of the National Indie Excellence Award-winning book “Never Isn’t Long Enough.” She shares her 10 commandments of Southern Writers with us.

(l) You must have been “raised right” so deep in the South that you can get to Atlanta without a road map and know that Buckhead does not represent a deer but a serious pile of money that is widely flaunted.

(2) You have to be willing to laugh at yourself because everybody else is doing it. Southerners are still considered an inferior intellectual bunch of bumpkins in many circles.

(3) To get your character studies done right, you have to have at least one first cousin named Bubba and an uncle who still drives his old battered Chevy or Ford pickup with the rifle rack in the back where he keeps his beer. That makes it easier to reach when he is driving.

(4) You must be willing to write about your relatives with the understanding that none of them will ever speak to you later. Two of my aunts had their phones disconnected after my novel “Never Isn’t Long Enough” was published. They also told the postman they are moving as soon as their brother can get his pickup out of the shop. It was taken in to have the rifle rack repaired and had to stay longer than expected because the mechanic kept getting the beer slots too close together. They were all falling off the rack and the pitbull was getting to them first.

(5) Get your vernacular straight – ain’t and aunt are pronounced the same way by all Southerners, but they ain’t the same thing.

(6) Forget syntax, just write the way you talk and somebody out there will understand you and want more, unless they are Yankees and they won’t have a clue what you said anyway.

(7) If you take yourself seriously, nobody else will; so just write for fun and hope the word spreads.

(8) There has to be at least one scene in your book that includes, “Tell everybody I said hey.”

(9) Understand that Southern Baptists are not a cult, but a bunch of well meaning folks who like to get together on Wednesday nights and exchange coconut cake recipes while they pray. Religion is the big ticket item in the South, so you need to pray that your work will be published. If you get coconut cake as well, then that is an answer to a prayer indeed.

(l0) Remember, Southerners wave a lot and talk to strangers constantly, so your characters have to stand upright more often than other folks. It is difficult to wave lying down and have any serious impact. Strangers are fertile ground for storytelling and that’s why we make it a point to talk to them. Why, I have had many a stranger tell me their whole life story in terms that I could never repeat at Sunday School, but they form amazing vignettes in print.

Bye, bye now y’all. Tell everybody I said “hey.”

Southern writer F. Diane Pickett is the author of the National Indie Excellence Award-winning book “Never Isn’t Long Enough.”

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F. Diane Pickett was born in Atlanta, Georgia, but grew up in Northwest Florida. She is a first time author and attended Florida State University and pursued a successful career as a medical executive. She has owned a number of small businesses ranging from personnel to retail and has a significant background in event planning.

It was her vision and leadership that was the significant force behind the revival of the historic Florida Chautauqua Assembly in DeFuniak Springs, Fla. Ms. Pickett presently resides in Destin, Florida and continues to pursue her primary interest as a real estate investor.

Find out more about Diane on her website: http://www.uphillpub.com/
Follow her on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/pages/Never-Isnt-Long-Enough/

Tags: fatured, Indie authors, Southern Writers, women writers

Category: Contemporary Women Writers, How To and Tips