Why I Read and Write about Illness

The thought of a hospital scares some people. Some people think hospital cafeteria food is awful. Some people expect to read a whole book without any bodily fluids making an appearance.

I am not one of these people. I love the hospital, the food, and those free little booties they give you. I have had more surgeries than anyone I know and broken as many bones. Possibly because of that, most books I read are memoirs about illness and/or death.

As an avid reader of the genre, I get annoyed if I don’t see enough blood, snot, or poop on the page. When these elements are missing, and possibly a disgusting scent, I’m left unsatisfied. Without these details, plus the added layer of discomfort of a too crowded room and not enough sleep, a book about disease doesn’t feel real. Illness is not only emotionally exhausting, it’s physically disgusting too.

So, why then do I read about illness, and as a writer, why do I choose to relay the specifics of my own ailments to the world? Because illness on the page and in life teaches us many things.

Reading and Writing about Sickness Helps us Understand that We’re Human

If we didn’t get sick, we might be able to ignore the fact that we’re human. We all like to believe we’re in control of our minds, our bodies, and our life, but in an instant an accident, illness, or a diagnosis, can change everything. Disease reminds us that we are at the mercy of the system that runs us.

Reading about other people who faced the unexpected, reminds us to be grateful for what we have. It can also be a helpful reminder that disease doesn’t always happen for obvious reasons. Sometimes disease strikes for no reason at all, so it’s important to practice caution, but somehow enjoy yourself.  

Writing about my own brain tumor years after it happened helped me feel grateful for something I hadn’t been able to understand at the time. I was only 22 when I was diagnosed, so I didn’t grasp how lucky I was and how differently things might have turned out. Only later, after my father’s brain was destroyed by a stroke, was I able to see the full possibilities of brain damage that I had avoided.

Reading and Writing about Disease Helps us Understand What Love Is
There is nothing like a close call to make us appreciate the ones we love. We suddenly know how it might feel to have the most important people taken away from us.

But if moments of sickness continue we also have a chance to show our love by providing care to someone who now relies on us is in a different way. We learn that we are stronger than we thought as our loved one fights or does not recognize us.

Reading about others helps us imagine what we would do in the same situation or how we might persist if roles were reversed. When we read about how a relationship changes after sickness, we look at our healthy loved ones differently.

My own father needed much help after losing the ability to eat, walk, and talk after his brain was destroyed by a hemorrhagic stroke. As I wrote about wiping the near constant stream of spit, keeping him calm when he was tired and agitated, and helping him understand why he couldn’t drive home, I could see each moment of love given to my dad by my mom and family.  

Reading and Writing about Illness Helps us Understand Healing
Though not everything can be healed, sickness shows us that broken things can be fixed. In a disease narrative, the person facing the illness doesn’t always live. But there is always something that we learn about the experience. Their scars serve as a reminder to us to live differently.

Reading about someone who came to the brink of what they could handle and learning about how they processed it helps us understand more about ourselves and others. It is especially comforting for those facing disease to know that others are facing it with them.

Writing down my own experiences with illness and writing about my dad’s stroke and disability ultimately helped me understand how I have changed and grown. Looking at both experiences helped me see how I found my place in my family, not as the baby of my mom’s nine children, or the sick one, but as a full-fledged adult, who finally understood that we all bring more to the world than our weaknesses.

Bio:

Catherine Lanser is a writer from Madison, Wis. She has lived in the Midwest her whole life and writes essays and narrative nonfiction about her life there, away, and growing up as the baby of a family of nine children. She is looking for a home for her first full-length memoir about how she found her place in her family, told through the lens of her brain tumor and her father’s stroke.

www.catherinelanser.com

https://twitter.com/catherinelanser

Her newest essay, “Seeing Through Mohammed’s Eyes” tells the story of driving through Morocco during her honeymoon and is featured in Corners: Voices on Change an anthology of essays by writers processing change in their lives.  https://www.amazon.com/Corners-Voices-Amy-Lou-Jenkins-ebook/dp/B07D3N9RKF/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1534540104&sr=8-1&keywords=Corners%3A+Voices+for+Change

 



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Category: Contemporary Women Writers, How To and Tips