Writers, Let’s Talk About The F-word: Finances

Writers, let’s talk about the F-word: finances

When you come face-to-face with death, fears leave you. You know your time is up, and you stop fighting. There is a feeling on the inside…which is more real than anything else … that is about acceptance and surrendering. No matter how many TV shows and movies make fun of cleaning up your browser history before they unplug you, that’s not what plagues your mind when you think it’s your end. Or maybe it’s just me.

I remember seeing my husband’s face and my doctor cousin emphatically explaining something to other nurses and doctors. Beautiful view of the world outside from my hospital room as my own world turned inside out. Strange faces hovering over and prodding me. I couldn’t handle the intensity of my discomfort or the suddenness of my hospitalization. In my mind, I whispered a goodbye to my husband and cousin. I felt sad about not being able to say a bye to my father. I would have liked to hug him too. How did I end up here? I was healthy and hearty, hiking 10 miles daily in Europe just a few weeks before I landed up in the ER. I ate balanced meals, worked out, meditated—the whole nine yards. In those last few seconds, all I could think about was what would happen to my husband and father after I was gone.

You know who and what broke my self-pity reverie? Another hospital staff. She was polite, courteous, and diligent. She turned to my husband amidst all the chaos and spoke softly, “Would you like to pay the bill in full or we can talk about monthly installments?”

I tell you, I have never felt worse in my life. I was going to die and leave behind a medical debt for my husband?!?! Imagine…if that’ the last thought that nudges you when you believe you have a few breaths left.

A few hours later, I opened my eyes and saw my husband and cousin smile at me. The medicines and prayers and my resilience had worked. But in that instance…I knew something had to change. Money, something I never really thought of before, had surfaced on my list of priorities. The transformation came from realizing that for someone who wrote about women’s empowerment and worked with rape and domestic violence survivors and spent 90% of her workday making other people’s lives better through coaching and speaking engagements, I hadn’t planned my own finances very well. How was that fair to anyone?

My story didn’t end at the ER or the hospital room that week of September 2018. Once I was discharged from the hospital, I was supposed to travel to the Midwest and west coast to continue my book tour for “Louisiana Catch.”  But between the antibiotics and excruciating pain, I turned immobile. From September 2018 to literally January of 2019, I was homebound unless you count trips to several specialists and ultrasound scans and MRIs and surgeon’s office. I couldn’t eat or sleep or write or read or walk. Between losing 35-40 lbs. inside 10 weeks to losing my clients because I didn’t know if and when I would get better, I didn’t recognize my life. On a weekly basis, I had 4-5 doctor appointments. Between doctor visits and their co-pay, Uber costs, and medicines…the medical bills added up over the 5-6 months.

I promised myself that if I managed to fight my illness and stay alive, I would do anything to rebuild my body and life, starting with finding financial stability. I wouldn’t stop writing or consider closing my business. But I would find stable, bi-weekly paychecks.

Truth: I have worked for over 20 years now. But, as a writer, creative entrepreneur, and small business owner, I hadn’t planned for short-term disability. I was one of the healthiest and fittest people I knew. I taught three hours of yoga a week and practiced 5 hours of yoga in a studio, attended 3 hours of Zumba dance sessions per week, and devoted two hours a week to weight training with a trainer. And, because I live in NYC, there are the innumerable hours of walking and weekend hiking always on the agenda. I ate healthy, cooked fresh, organic meals five days a week, and got my monthly massages and acupuncture for stress relief. I was on planes, teaching and speaking every month.

Sickness is impartial and humbling. It can get to anyone, especially when you are least expecting. And it’s not just the physical discomfort; chronic illness can make you feel isolated and broken. Imagine not recognizing your once healthy body that overnight turns into a stranger? Imagine the mind of a writer plagued by illness, inability to write, or find purpose.

Facts:

• Writing doesn’t always pay very well—This is a known fact.And on those occasions when it does (If you get a large signing amount as advance for your book), the monies might not still be enough to sustain yourself after paying your agent, taxes, book promotion and tour expenses, new clothes, photographer etc. It’s easy to romanticize frugal living and minimize your materialistic needs. But medical emergency, like mine, are real. Deaths and losses are real. Chances are…as we get older, the body will need more attention and maintenance. That requires money!
• A financially dependable partner—Writers tend to be touchy about this topic but many writers I know are able to write full-time because (1) they have a partner who is the bread-winner (2) they come from family money. That is great until such time the arrangement works. We have all known people to lose their jobs. What happens when the bread-winning partner is out of a job, even if temporarily? Doesn’t it feel selfish to pursue your writing dream while the other person is out finding options to provide for the family?
• Relationships end—In the last year alone, a few of my writer friends and colleagues have found themselves in broken marriages and/or their relationships ended unexpectedly. Relationships are hard work (I say this despite being happily married). And being married to a writer isn’t exactly easy. We live in our own worlds and create an alternate reality. Our egocentrism and the unconventionality aren’t easy for everyone to comprehend. When relationships end, responsibilities don’t. Scrambling to look for a job and starting your life from scratch while sustaining a writing career, can you see why that might not be easy?
• Financial stability is good for your mental health—Writing life is fueled by stress, convictions, insecurities, solitude, sleeplessness, anxiety, and other challenges. A lot of these issues stem from not knowing tomorrow and not having a dependable schedule or income stream. The intense motivation, the working in isolation, the vivid imagination, and the magical inspiration are so necessary for creativity and breakthroughs. But they can also be detrimental for your mental health, if that’s all a writer does. Being accountable to a colleague or a boss, can be empowering and help you prioritize better.
• Writing imitates life—If we are chained to our writing desks all day, not talking to many people, not assimilating in the “real world,” not experiencing stories, where and how will we learn from about life? Can you rely only on imagination to create a masterpiece?
• Boost your confidence—Having a work-life outside of writing, which pays well, can be great for your confidence and relationship with writing. Writing is a big part of who I am and how I see the world. But meeting deadlines in the office and showing up for my clients are equally important aspect of my work life. It makes my relationship with writing that much more sacred and cherished. Not having the luxury to stare into space all day makes me more productive when I show up to my words. I have dedicated writing time. I write the stories truest to me, and not another article/essay because my next meal is dependent on the essay being sold, you know? I am also pickier with the clients I sign up as a mindset and wellness coach because I have the financial and emotional stability from my paychecks.
• Helps you hire the best—If you are feeling stuck in your writing and want to work with an experienced coach or sign the best editor in town or hire a publicist for your book launch or go away to a secluded space to write or find a virtual assistant, all of it requires the F-word, finance.

For a writer, being financially sustainable should be just as sacred as creating time for your writing. I have been to writing residencies and author gatherings and attended online conversations (writing communities) where being broke as a writer is romanticized. Let’s not disillusion ourselves and those entering the world of writing for even one moment that we can survive on love, fresh air, and inspiration.

A friend’s mother recently fell chronically ill. My friend, who has a 9-5 job, was able to take 6 weeks of short term disability to care for her mother. At least, she knew that at the end of the day…a job and financial security awaited her. Her stress about her mother’s healing still existed, but she knew she could continue to provide for her family, including her mother, because of a stable income. Doesn’t mean she doesn’t have passions and hobbies. But I do admire her grasp on reality and pragmatism.

I have heard people scorn at those with dependable jobs. There is nothing despicable about a man or a woman who can provide for his or her family. It’s selfish to believe that your writing is the only important thing in the world.

Honestly, I am not suggesting that every writer needs to get a 9-5 or work for the corporate world. All I am saying is that we need to have honest conversations about the role and value of money in our daily lives…for ourselves, our families, and our future. Money is not a despicable word. Being bitter about it or living in denial isn’t a luxury we creative professionals can afford any longer. While money won’t buy you happiness, it does make life and writing easier.

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Author Bio: Sweta Srivastava Vikram (www.swetavikram.com), featured by Asian Fusion as “one of the most influential Asians of our time,” is a mindset & wellness coach, global speaker, and best-selling author of 12 books whose work has appeared in The New York Times, amongst other publications, across nine countries on three continents. She helps executives and entrepreneurs make critical mindset shifts so they can leverage time more effectively, thrive in their relationships, and lower stress levels. Winner of the “Voices of the Year Award,” (past recipients have been Chelsea Clinton and founders of the #MeToo movement), in her spare time, as the CEO-founder of NimmiLife, Sweta teaches mindfulness, Ayurveda, and yoga to empower female survivors of trauma. A graduate of Columbia University, she lives in New York City with her husband and works with clients globally. Find her on: Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Facebook.

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Category: Contemporary Women Writers, How To and Tips