Why Coaching Helps my Writing Life
I’ve always loved the process of coaching – how quickly clients can see the benefits, how action-focused it is, and how certain results are surprising. I trained as a Life Coach fifteen years ago, and for the last few years have been working solely with writers as a writing coach and tutor.
Being a life-long writer myself, and someone who only found an agent in my forties, I understand the turmoil of the process (the joys and challenges) and so can speak from the heart when I’m working with others. But my clients also speak from the heart to me, and the process of constantly engaging with other writers is really helpful for my own journey.
Coaching keeps me learning and developing. I’m a firm believer that you don’t need to do an MA in Creative Writing (or any other formal training) before you get started. Do you read plenty? Are you driven to write? Then have a bash! That said, at some point, it’s essential for most of us to take a break, get some perspective, and see what we can do to improve the quality of our prose.
For me, personally, in the early days I would read around a specific area only when I felt stuck with it: how to write realistic dialogue, the difference between tension and suspense, how to edit a first draft etc. And then I’d carry on writing. I think in lots of ways this served me well enough. But working as a writing coach means that I’m constantly reading around the subject: matters of style, craft, quality, as well as what we understand as the creative process. It would be disrespectful to my clients to coach just from my own experience.
So, I’m always considering alternatives to what I naturally or intuitively think is the ‘right’ way to do things. I’m frequently asking myself what could I be missing? What else might be true? How can I look at this completely differently? There are many paths to the same destination and there’s always room for learning and experimentation.
Coaching others keeps me walking the walk when it comes to looking after myself and respecting the creative process. For the last decade or so I’ve not really struggled with the discipline of getting down to writing. But I certainly struggle with looking after myself and engaging with curiosity, taking time out, allowing myself mental space for contemplation and boredom (all essential for the creative process). I’m constantly encouraging others to see that the creative process deserves respect and a degree of nourishment: it’s vital for us to look after our creative selves. And because I’m so passionate about that with my clients it serves as a great reminder for me too.
Coaching others through despondency helps me with my own self-doubt. However much we might long to be published (it’s the Holy Grail, right?), it’s essential to grapple with the fact that ‘getting published’ is a pretty crappy end goal. It’s not a destination that we reach and from then on everything is suddenly wonderful.
After publication most writers continue to face the age-old challenges – is my work in process a load of rubbish? Will my current novel be published? Can I dare to dream of ever earning a living from my writing? How will readers respond to this? Is it all worth it? Do I even know what I’m doing anyway?!! Most of us writers experience similar dilemmas and insecurities, regardless of whether we’re published or not. It’s helpful for my clients to know that doubt (in all its forms!) is part of the process, and it’s a familiar state of mind for me, as well as for them. Conversely, when I’m encouraging them to be kind to themselves – to keep the faith and gently continue – in a strange way I’m encouraging myself too.
Coaching brings me into contact with all sorts of people from different walks of life. This year alone I’ve worked with clients in their early twenties right through to a woman on the cusp of turning ninety. I’ve helped people with memoirs and novels and blog writing. I’ve supported terrified writers in the very earliest stages of trying to put pen to paper, and I’ve worked with experienced novelists who are determined to find a literary agent to represent them. It’s such a privilege to walk alongside these writers – every one of them pursuing something of great importance to them personally.
Writing can be a lonely endeavour at times, and being a writing coach helps to balance things out for me. Working with others takes me out of my own head, away from my own project and my own obsessions. Any good coaching relationship thrives on a kind of synergy between client and coach. The process itself is all about the client, of course; it’s their goals, their creative ambitions. But when I’m working with other writers it’s infinitely rewarding for me too, and it’s that reciprocal aspect of coaching that I love so much.
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When Uma discovers her husband’s infidelity just hours before his untimely death, the carefully woven threads of her life begin to unravel. Struggling to manage the grief of those around her, she escapes to a remote cottage by the coast where she swims in the winter sea, cooks the forgotten Keralan dishes of her childhood and begins the search for her husband’s lover. It isn’t long before Uma realises what she must do to pick up the tattered threads of her life. But will her choices jeopardise the only family she has left?
‘Petals and Stones is a book that gets off the blocks at 100 miles per hour – it’s a brilliant opening set-up that well and truly draws us into the story from the outset….This is a real snatch every five minutes you can, ignore your family, stay up far too late reading, book….Petals and Stones is an open-hearted story full of fully drawn, flawed but lovable characters….There isn’t a cliché in sight, and the book’s real strengths are its tolerance of shortcomings and differences, and its understanding of just how difficult it can be to lead a fulfilling life…..It is rare that such a thoughtful book manages to be this gripping. I was drawn in by the fantastic opening premise, but I stayed for the insightful reflection.’ The Sheffield Telegraph Book Club Review by Anna Caig
Category: Contemporary Women Writers, How To and Tips
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