What’s In A Name? The story behind HUSBAND MATERIAL

What’s In A Name?

The story behind HUSBAND MATERIAL

Arguably, with its sassy cover and catchy name, HUSBAND MATERIAL comes off like the chick-lit book of everyone’s dreams. In fact, when I first pitched the idea for HUSBAND MATERIAL, my editor acquired the book promptly for one main reason: she’d actually been looking for a project with that title for quite some time and there it was, finally, before her.

I agree, the title is pitch perfect. Now that the book is out, it’s been so amusing seeing everyone have fun with the play-on words.

I’ve had the founder of Jimmy John’s (Mr. Jimmy himself!) pose on Twitter holding the book with the caption, “Is this about me?”. I’ve had cheeky strangers message me to “thank me” for writing a book about them. I’ve even had bookstagrammers convince their husbands to pose for a picture featuring the book. Those ones especially crack me up and I appreciate all the good sports!

But what I’m so tempted to say to everyone who assumes the book is The Bachelorette on pages, is: “It’s not what you think it’s about.”

Without giving too much away to the people who haven’t indulged in reading the book yet, HUSBAND MATERIAL quite literally refers to the protagonist’s husband’s material. She is a young widow. Her husband was cremated. To spell it out very clearly, I’m talking about the ashes of her dead husband. 

Sure, the book is categorized as romance and we are all rooting for her happy ending with love in the end. In that regard, HUSBAND MATERIAL can mean what everyone thinks it does—a guy you want to wind up with; a catch. But the very, primary meaning for me has always been the literal meaning of the word material – a tangible, touchable item. 

In my first book, HOT MESS, there are key themes of addiction and codependency. I knew in writing that book that I would have a large readership and I really needed to do those serious topics justice. I wrote the novel confidently having had firsthand experience dating an addict at one point in my life. Most of the people who reached out to me about that book are those who felt like the addiction aspect hit home for them. It feels good as the writer to know I got that right.

With another great platform queued up for HUSBAND MATERIAL, my challenge was bringing the same level of authenticity to something I knew nothing about: losing a loved one. Something I’ve never been myself: a widow. The book has been described as being on “the light side of heavy.” As the author, any amount of heavy means you need to work harder to pull through actual experience and make that shine. Readers who have been through it need to say, “Yup, she nailed it.” And readers who have not, need to feel like they certainly could have.  

I knew it would not be a comfortable thing, putting myself in the driver’s seat of widowhood. But it was a must. There’s no way I could have “guessed” what being a widow was like, and so therefore, I put out a casting call. I utilized a robust Facebook group full of women writers and journalists. I described the exact type of person I was looking to talk to for this: a widow, must have lost their husband at a young age, it had to be sudden (no longer-term illnesses), and couldn’t have been married long. It was a tall order. Out of a group with nearly 80,000 members, I found five. Five who fit the bill, and only four who were willing to talk to me.

I arranged private, one-on-one phone calls with each of the widows. I will never forget the first call I made. I had my questions lined up, an obvious one being, “How did your husband die?” The first answer: “In an explosion at the plant he worked at.” I remember how taken aback I was. Not only at the gruesome way he passed, but at the calm way the widow was able to explain that to me. She was so matter of fact. I moved on and finished the rest of my questions, taking diligent notes as she spoke.

Every day for the rest of that week I had a phone call with the different widows. The questions were all the same, the answers were all different. I discussed recaps of them with my husband over dinner each night. He found it fascinating, as did I. 

Just like I will never forget my first call that week, I’ll never forget my last call either. It wasn’t anything that was said, but rather it was how I reacted. I was no longer shocked by anything said. I no longer carried the pit in my gut when I was about to ask the manner of death. It became matter of fact for me, too. Not because I was devoid of emotion, but because I truly became a reporter dedicated not just to getting the story, but to getting the story right. 

I remember my husband asking me one final question over a bowl of spaghetti: why do you think these women wanted to talk to you? 

I get it. I’m a stranger. I know nothing about loss. I’m using their pain to make my book more authentic and readable. What’s in it for them? What are they getting in return for sharing their most horrific life experience? 

I took a bite, and a breath, and deduced that what was in it for them was: they got to be the expert. Grief is a complicated thing. Between friends, family, coworkers, and therapists…everyone has an opinion about how to handle loss. But when it was just them and I, a faceless person on the phone, they got to be in complete control of their grief. And that must have felt great. 

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Emily Belden is an author with powerhouse publisher, HARLEQUIN/HARPERCOLLINS. She inked a two-book deal with them in 2016, and her debut novel HOT MESS came out March 20, 2018 via their edgy imprint Graydon House. On December 30, 2019, her sophomore novel HUSBAND MATERIAL was released. It is sold in bookstores nationwide, including mass retailers Target, Walmart, and Kroger. She is represented by famed literary agency, Browne & Miller, and also the author of the memoir, EIGHTYSIXED. She lives in Chicago with her husband and is on a quest to adopt a dog by Christmas.

HUSBAND MATERIAL

By turns heartbreaking and laugh-out-loud funny.”

—Kristin Rockaway, author of How To Hack a Heartbreak

“Sensitive, thoughtful, and touching.” —Library Journal

A young widow must face the grief she’s always set aside when an unexpected delivery throws her life into disarray

Twenty-nine-year-old Charlotte Rosen has a secret: she’s a widow. Ever since the fateful day that leveled her world, Charlotte has worked hard to move forward. Great job at a hot social media analytics company? Check. Roommate with no knowledge of her past? Check. Adorable dog? Check. All the while, she’s faithfully data-crunched her way through life, calculating the probability of risk—so she can avoid it.

Yet Charlotte’s algorithms could never have predicted that her late husband’s ashes would land squarely on her doorstep five years later. Stunned but determined, Charlotte sets out to find meaning in this sudden twist of fate, even if that includes facing her perfectly coiffed, and perfectly difficult, ex-mother-in-law—and her husband’s best friend, who seems to become a fixture at her side whether she likes it or not.

But when her quest reveals a shocking secret, Charlotte is forced to answer questions she never knew to ask and to consider the possibility of forgiveness. And when a chance at a new life arises, she’ll have to decide once and for all whether to follow the numbers or trust her heart.

Tags: featured, women writers

Category: Contemporary Women Writers, On Writing