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Anyone’s Shadow

July 9, 2021 | By Women Writers Women Books | Reply More

“What are little girls made of? Sugar and spice/And all things nice/That’s what little girls are made of.” When Mother Goose penned her rhyme, little did she realize the heavy load she had placed on female shoulders: to be nice is daunting. And what of those girls who shirked the role of Ms. Goody Two Shoes? In every age, in every clime, there are those whose DNA does not consist of the Pollyanna gene.

Ever since Eve, the original bad girl, went against God’s directive forbidding eating from the Tree of Good and Evil, wayward women have had a bad rap. The wage of sin was an angel with a flaming sword who ensured eternal banishment from Paradise. Eve’s punishment-as well as all her female descendants-was to give birth in great pain. As penance for his participation in Original Sin, her partner, and his male lineage, had to work by the sweat of their brow. No more free rides thanks to the lady fashioned from Adam’s rib. From this biblical couple, the male-female power structure was born.

Throughout the millennium, the standard of womanhood was to exercise modesty, especially in the sexual arena. The New Testament admonishes, “Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.” Revered role models remain Madonna (not the Material Girl) and Mother Teresa – hard shoes to fill. In the Medieval era, when the knights rode off to their Crusade, to ensure their wives didn’t play while their hubbies were away, they devised the chastity belt. After all, trust can only go so far.

While brides wear white to signify virginity, a prize surrendered on the wedding night, males are allowed free reign to their libido due to the mindset of “boys will be boys.” The male adage for sexual conquest-a notch on the crotch-is a much-vaunted trophy; a woman, equally liberal with her body, is viewed as a slut. Rebel girls viewed the legs crossed mindset as another way for the patriarchy to clip their wings.

Language is symptomatic of societal mores, and English has a plethora of words to describe women who do not walk the prescribed gauntlet. The most derogatory put-downs for those ladies who do not subscribe to the time-honored double standard for sexual transgressions: whore, cougar, frigid – feel free to add your own – all which have no male equivalent.

Other searing adjectives to describe pushy “broads:” sassy, shrill, spinster, hag, ditzy, bitch, hormonal. And, a newer term to describe a bride who places unreasonable demands on her wedding party: Bridezilla. No one seems to feel the need to use the male equivalent of groomzilla.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on perspective, there has always been bad-ass broads. In Aristophanes’ 411 B. C. play Lysistrata the heroine arranged for wives to withhold sex until their soldier husbands ended the Peloponnesian War. As a further measure, the ladies took over the Acropolis that halted access to money funding the feud between Athens and Sparta. Another feisty fictional femme was the lady whose name manifested her fiery spirit: Scarlett O’Hara from Margaret Mitchell’s Gone with the Wind.

Unlike most women in the antebellum South, Scarlett was brash, bratty, and ballsy. She is far more memorable than her arch-rival Melanie Hamilton Wilkes, the embodiment of virtue-the quintessential good girl. Another woman who took gave no f**** was Lisbeth Salander, the tattooed, chain-smoking anti-heroine who favored courtier Goth. The non-shrinking violets go through life with upraised middle finger, with an ever-ready retort.

Unabashed Women pays homage to the anti-Martha Stewarts, those who do not define themselves by their prowess in the kitchen or the bedroom, those who pried themselves from the shadows. Although they paid a price for their “ballsy” behavior, they, in the words of Mr. Sinatra, had the satisfaction of being able to say, “I did it my way.”

The Mother Goose counterpart for little boys is, “What are little boys made of? Snips and snails and puppy dog tails/That’s what little boys are made of.” The ladies who made leaps into the flames are an amalgam of the sugar and the spice. The most memorable of the Shakespearean heroes were great men with fatal flaws, the latter of which made them relatable, human.

The ladies profiled in Unabashed Women serves as their female counterparts; their prickly personalities may not have made them Ms. Congeniality, something that did not induce guilt. They left their historic imprints because they dared to be different and difficult. In the final analysis, badness is in the eye of the beholder.

The list of feisty females is legion, including the nineteenth century British author Charlotte Brontë. Jane Eyre, although madly in love with Mr. Rochester, spurns his proposal that she live with him as his mistress in his estate, Thornfield Hall. The protagonist’s response-one that was an eyebrow raiser in its time-responded, “I am no bird; and no net ensnares me. I am a free human being with an independent will, which I now exert to leave you.” As with Ms. Eyre, the unabashed women were no birds.

Although the women who populate Unabashed Women came from different eras and far-flung locales, they are bound by the common thread of refusing to let their light dimmed by another. Martha Gellhorn, the journalist wife of Ernest Hemingway, wrote, “Why should I be a footnote in someone else’s life?” Francoise Gilot, the painter and common-law wife of Pablo Picasso, declared, “I’m not here just because I’ve spent time with Picasso.”

In fairy tales, bliss arrives in the guise of a prince; in literature, Heathcliff’s devotion extends post grave, in film, Ricky Blaine’s devotion to Elsa is the litmus test of adoration. However, songwriters Michael Masser and Linda Creed argue that the greatest commitment must be to oneself, a philosophy shared by those who forage their own paths. The lyrics, immortalized by Whitney Houston, state, “I decided long ago/Never to walk in anyone’s shadow.”

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Marlene Wagman-Geller received her B.A. from York University and her teaching credentials from the University of Toronto and San Diego State University. Currently, she teaches high school English in National City, California. Reviews from her books have appeared in The New York Times and the Associated Press. Articles about her books have appeared in dozens of newspapers such as The Denver Post, The Huffington Post, and The San Diego Tribune.

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UNABASHED WOMEN, Marlene Wagman-Geller

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A thrilling journey into the badass women whose non-conventional lives left their DNA on history.

Amazing women with a story to tell. Join Mae West as she shakes up the entertainment industry with her wit and wisdom or create colorful art pieces with Yayoi Kusama that are larger than life itself. These women in history defied the expectations of conventional society to live the lives they chose, regardless of what others thought.

Words of Wisdom. Society may have labeled these fierce femmes as rebels, badass, wild, or uppity. But, these amazing women still dared to be different. With an out-of-the-box perspective, you’ll find inspiration from an array of fabulous females who will give you a lesson in being one-of-a-kind.

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