Barbarians at the Gate: Creative anxiety and the Fear of Sharing your Work
Barbarians at the Gate
Creative anxiety and the fear of sharing your work
Sharing what you create is important. It doesn’t matter if it is a short story, a sculpture, a kick-ass PowerPoint presentation design, a sketch, or a poem. But sharing something so personal can be terrifying. Sharing exposes you, makes you vulnerable. It opens the gates and invites the barbarians in.
On the flip side, the act of sharing your creations can help you build confidence, find your voice, and let you develop and grow in ways you never expected. To be realistic, most of us are not going to be on any best seller list or have our paintings in the Louvre, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t let the world see what you’ve created—sharing your work is about more than commercial success.
So, what are we so darn scared of?
That’s a long list.
Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of Big Magic, said, “You’re afraid you have no talent. You’re afraid you’ll be rejected or criticized or ridiculed or misunderstood or – worst of all – ignored. You’re afraid there’s no market for your creativity, and therefore no point in pursuing it. You’re afraid somebody else already did it better. You’re afraid everybody else already did it better. You’re afraid somebody will steal your ideas, so it’s safer to keep them hidden forever in the dark.”
You might also be afraid that you do have talent. That instead of being ignored, you’ll be thrust into the spotlight. You can be afraid that people will love your work—and then expect even more from you.
But you know what? This creative anxiety isn’t necessarily bad. Uncomfortable, yes, but not bad. If you have fears around sharing, that tells me that you care about your work. You’re invested in it.
Okay, you’re right, I’m scared — how do you get rid of creative anxiety?
The short answer is… you don’t. You can manage it. Reduce it. Minimize how much it affects you. But the chances are, it will never go away completely. (I know, not the answer you wanted). When you share something you’ve created, you’re making yourself vulnerable, and that’s when the anxiety starts whispering in your ear.
But here are a few tips to help keep some of those fears at bay:
The Fear: Everyone’s better at this than I am!
Stop comparing yourself to others. Seriously. I don’t say this to be cruel, but there’s pretty much always going to be someone better at writing than you are. And there is nothing wrong with that. Maybe that person has an enviable natural talent. Maybe that person has been working hard for twenty years longer than you have. Let them be them. You be you. Everyone was a beginner once. If you want to get better, write more.
The Fear: I’m going to get rejected or criticized.
If you’re going to write, one of these days you’re going to get rejected or criticized. A publisher, editor, or agent will tell you, “No.” A reviewer is going to say that they didn’t like your book. When they do, you have a choice to make—take it personally or move on. Try not to take it personally.
An advance reviewer of my new novel, Stone Heart, said it was an “outstanding example of contemporary women’s fiction.” Sweet! Another gave it two stars because she felt the characters were all selfish and unlikeable, and she couldn’t root for any of them. And she said one of my characters (who is almost 17 in the book) acted and sounded like a tween. Ouch. I certainly didn’t like getting that review, but she’s one single opinion.
The point is: that just proves that art is subjective. No two people will experience your work the same way. Don’t let one opinion derail all your hopes and dreams. Will it sting when someone is critical? Sure. Give yourself a day to pout but then move on.
I do have an exception to the advice above… keep in mind, the internet is not always a shining paragon of constructive feedback. There is a difference between a critical opinion of your work (“I thought the dialogue was stilted.” or “The story lacked crisp description.”) and a troll who does make it personal (“U suck. Give up.” or “You clearly failed English in school.”).
A true constructive criticism is an opinion, yes, but it gives you something to think about and possibly improve. It isn’t about you as an individual, it is about the work. The trolls can get personal… When you run into negative people like that block them, unfriend them, whatever you need to do. Kick the poisonous people to the curb–you don’t need that kind of toxic BS in your life.
The Fear: My work isn’t PERFECT.
No, it isn’t. Neither is mine. And neither is the work of any famous author. I’m not saying you shouldn’t strive for it, but let’s be honest here, it is progress that matters. Not perfection. You will learn something from everything you write, and you’ll use those insights and lessons to make the next story better. Try to let go of your perfectionism and let the desire for perfection guide you. Don’t let it control you.
You can also start small. Share a paragraph or a chapter. Let people know it is a work in progress (first drafts tend to be imperfect by nature). This is a good way to dip your toe in the pond when you’re worried about sharing—you don’t have to dive in headfirst.
The Fear: The things I write about are too personal—I don’t want my family/friends/co-workers to know I wrote it!
I get it. In my earlier novel, Shadow King, I have a fairly intense sex scene. As the book was coming out, I had an epiphany: holy crap, my MOTHER is going to read this! This thought was followed by the realization that my friends, aunts, uncles, and co-workers were going to read it, too.
Oh boy, that is going to be a heck of a family reunion! (I survived.)
But sometimes we do write about really personal things. Things that actually happened to us, or to people close to us. That can have ripple effects once it’s out in public. Only you can decide if sharing something that personal is right for you.
If you are writing about sensitive topics, regardless of whether they are based on personal experience or not, one option is to share using a pseudonym. This fictitious name can give you space and some anonymity. That little bit of distance between you and any feedback you get can potentially make it feel less personal. If that space is what you need to feel more confident about sharing your work, go for it.
The Fear: I don’t deserve success.
Ah, our old friend impostor phenomenon. That’s when we doubt our accomplishments, talents, and skills, and have a persistent, internalized fear that if we share, we’ll be exposed as incompetent or a fraud. And we feel this way despite evidence to the contrary.
In fact, the American Psychological Association (APA) notes that “up to 82% of people face feelings of impostor phenomenon, struggling with the sense they haven’t earned what they’ve achieved and are a fraud.”
It may sound contradictory but sharing that you have a fear of sharing your work can help lessen those feelings. By talking about your successes, your failures, and how you feel about them can help the intense emotions moderate. If you want to know more about impostor phenomenon and some detailed steps to deal with it, check out How to overcome impostor phenomenon from the APA.
Take it day by day—you got this!
Ultimately, it really comes down to being honest about being scared. If you’re scared of putting it all out there, say so… but share anyway. I think the world needs more people sharing their creativity in whatever form it takes. The world needs your creativity.
I agree with Syrah Kai when she says, “I choose to believe that people are mostly good. I think people will choose to be good and kind 90% of the time, and you can increase those chances by setting the tone of honesty and respect.”
Who knows, you just might inspire someone else to share their creativity, too.
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Sources
https://wegrowmedia.com/
https://www.bbc.com/worklife/
Susan K. Hamilton is the award-winning, multi-genre author whose books include Stone Heart, The Devil Inside, Shadow King, and Darkstar Rising, as well as inclusions in several short story anthologies. Horse-crazy since she was a little girl, she pretty much adores every furry creature on the planet (except spiders). She also loves comfy jeans, pizza, and great stand-up comedy, and wishes she had even an iota of musical talent because—deep down—she really wants to be a singer. Susan lives near Boston with her husband and spends her spare time with a lovely bay mare, affectionately known as “La Diosa.”
Website https://www.susankhamilton.com/
Twitter @RealSKHamilton
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STONE HEART, Susan K. Hamilton
Stone Heart, Susan K. Hamilton
As a successful singer and recovering addict, Lauren Stone is no stranger to regret.
When a publicity stunt gone wrong brings her face-to-face with one of her biggest regrets—her high school flame, Danny Padovano—Lauren realizes she never let go of his memory, believing he’s the only person who ever loved her for who she is, not what she is.
With a devastating case of writer’s block threatening to derail her career, and Danny’s marriage on the rocks, they begin an affair that could not only wreck what’s left of Danny’s marriage, but destroy Lauren’s relationship with the band… and her hard-earned sobriety.
As Lauren’s world unravels, can she come to terms with her mistakes? Or will they finally destroy her?
BUY HERE
Category: How To and Tips
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