THE ME LIST by Julee Balko, Excerpt

THE ME LIST

“Balko’s writing is pure magic and it’s a must-read for today’s divided world.” –J.D. Greyson, founder of Move Me Poetry

Ziplining despite being scared of heights. Learning yoga when you’re afraid of downward anything. Facing your strained relationship with your mother.

When Olivia writes a ME List, she picks 10 things to get her out of her suburban mom funk. But what she really needs is to figure out how to deal with her next-door neighbor, nemesis, and new boss-Patricia. Patricia is the top realtor in their town and has the perfect life. But when Olivia agrees to be Patricia’s assistant, she discovers Patricia’s life isn’t as perfect as she thought.

The Me List is a touching tale about the complexity of friendship, the importance of reserving judgment, and the rocky path that life takes as we get older. Julee Balko brings snark and heart to this journey of self-improvement with a keen eye for flawed characters.

Can a list change a life?

We are delighted to feature this excerpt!

Chapter 1: Salad 

Olivia’s life felt like hard piled on hard. And then some piles of laundry. And a sink full of last night’s dishes. And not nearly enough wine.

She rifled through the clearance underwear at Target and knew her marriage was in trouble. Who had she become? She didn’t even think about sexy lingerie. She nabbed a nude-colored pair for two dollars and threw them into her cart. Could anything scream boring more loudly than nude underwear that was on sale?

She tossed a bag of coffee on top of the underwear to hide her dismal life. What else did she need to pick up today? Not that underpriced panties were technically on her list. She scanned her phone: bread, milk, cereal, those granola bars that Sammy liked. The usual. Oh, and wine. Olivia definitely needed more wine. Especially after that frustrating call with her mother earlier today.

Olivia pushed the cart through the aisle, distracted by her issues with her mother, and hit the corner of the end-cap display, knocking a few Tupperware containers off the pile. Rolling her eyes, she picked them up, and they fell again. Olivia scrunched her nose with hate at the little plastic bowls nestled into themselves with their right-sized lids and thought, how do they magically get these to stay? She balanced the last bowl on the corner and walked away. About two aisles down, she heard them drop to the ground again. She quickly took a left and the Tupperware problem was out of her sight.

Olivia glanced at her watch and saw she still had two more hours until Samantha finished school. If she walked around Target long enough, could this count as exercise? She had told herself she was going to go to the gym every day this week. Yet here it was, Wednesday, and the closest she had gotten to the gym was a Target run, without any actual running.

Olivia heard Patricia’s voice before she saw her. It oozed authority and money and polished hair. She slowed her cart, hoping to avoid her, but wouldn’t you know it, Patricia turned right into her aisle.

“Hello there.” Patricia held the phone away from her face, put her hand over the receiver, and whispered, “It’s a client.” Olivia gave a wave like she was still a dork in eighth grade. It was like even her hand couldn’t be cool.

Patricia walked right over and picked up the fancy cleaner. You know, the kind that costs a lot, has a hip-looking label on it, and is only made from essential oils and freshly squeezed hibiscus flowers or something. Olivia judged her while secretly thinking she should buy the same one.

Patricia hung up the phone and said, “Ugh, it’s been a day.”

Olivia nodded her head in agreement, even though her day had technically only been stressing about her mother, ignoring the dishes, avoiding exercise, and then coming here.

BUY THE ME LIST HERE

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Julee Balko is an author who loves writing novels with complicated women characters. Her debut novel, The Things We Keep, takes on grief, secrets, and family dysfunction. The Me List is her second novel and is full of snark and heart as it brings to life an unlikely friendship between neighbors.

Tags: featured, women writers

Category: Contemporary Women Writers, On Writing