A Writer’s Tale

29 years. 36 books. Hardcover, trade, mass market and audio. eBook. Manga. Large print. Published around the globe.  Bestseller lists, international bestseller lists. And a soap opera—in Japan.

When I look at all those accomplishments, the one that jumps out as truly my accomplishment is how long I’ve been writing and selling books. Happily, I might add. (At least mostly happy—I am a creative being, after all.)

That’s longevity. And in a business that has changed dramatically during those 29+ years, in a creative field that’s at the mercy of the winds of change, be they cultural or technical, in which so much of our success is outside of our control, that’s not an easy thing to achieve.

I’ve made a lot of mistakes, ones not so much business missteps, but spiritual ones. And I’ve learned from them, as we so often do, after the fact. So here I am today, hoping to share with you an uplifting, cautionary tale. (How’s that for genre confusion? Hah!)

Let me back up and tell you a little about my career. I started in romance and wrote twelve for three different lines. Then itching to tell a bigger story, I proposed a stand-alone, rags to riches, novel title RED. Harlequin was at that moment starting up Mira, their new mainstream imprint, planning to publish one book a month for the first year, putting the full force of the company’s energy into making the imprint successful. They bought RED to be (lucky) number seven.

I adored my editor, the amazing Dianne Moggy (I still adore her), loved working with the imprint, and basked in the largesse of being in the right place, at the right time. Oh, it wasn’t all luck. I was writing books that readers enjoyed, ones that touched hearts. I followed my muse into the suspense genre, going on to write everything from romantic suspense, to woman-in-jeopardy, to police procedural suspense, and now, paranormal suspense.

There were steps backward and stumbles along the way, rejections, broken promises. But overall, the trajectory of my career was up.  I climbed the USA Today bestseller list—into the top 50—and consistently landed on the New York Times extended list.

Then, on June 5, 2005, my book SEE JANE DIE made the New York Times printed list, at the time, the Holy Grail for authors. It was the moment I’d been working, hoping, and praying for.

I should have been ecstatic.

Oh, I was. For about a nano-second. Then I was looking ahead to what would come next. Another week on the list? Higher on the list next time? Someday going all the way to—dare I say it—number one?

But that’s not what happened. Suddenly, my career trajectory changed. Bestseller rankings drooped, dropped, then eventually, disappeared.

Do I sound calm? Believe me, there was angst, wailing and gnashing of teeth. There were tears and despair and plenty of “whys.”

And here’s where today’s cautionary tale really begins.

Enjoy each new goal reached. It’s fine to want to climb the ladder, but not when you don’t enjoy the “now” because you’re already looking on to what comes next. Take the time to bask, give thanks, and be truly grateful for each and every gift that comes your way.

I’ve learned it’s not success that brings joy—it’s gratitude.

Writing is what you do—not who you are.

How do you define yourself? A mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, child of God? Or do you primarily define yourself as a writer? Or even more exclusively, a bestselling writer?

We get so wrapped up in our creations, we begin to define ourselves by how well they perform—as in sales, or dollars earned, or contests won, or reviews received. It’s good to care, you should, it’s not healthy to care too much.

The fact is, the career can go away. Tastes change, and maybe you and your voice don’t change with them, the economy tanks, print disappears, an editor quits, or a company merges. The month your book publishes, there’s a hurricane, flood, or blizzard; or maybe that month the reading world is engrossed in a rancorous presidential election, or two planes crash into The World Trade Center. You cannot control any of it. All you can do is write the best book you can, honestly and from your heart. There is joy to be found in that.

Take that joy, no matter where you are in your career—raw beginner, newly published, or an old-timer like me. Enjoy every step—a completed chapter or book; landing an agent, or querying one, even a rejection—because you had the courage, the talent and the tenacity to put yourself out there. How many people only dream of doing that?

Ask “what” not “why.”

Why me? Why did this happen? WHY does so-and-so get everything? Why am I always — FILL IN YOUR BLANK. Sounds really whiny, huh? I’ve been there. I’ll dare a guess we all have—no matter where we’re perched on the publishing ladder.  Stop. “Why” is damaging to both the psyche and spirit.  It kills our creativity, steals our joy, and buries us in our self-pity.

The better question is “What?”  What should I have done differently? What should I do next?  What are my strengths or weaknesses? What does God (Or the Universe) want me to learn from this? Where does He want me?

“What” empowers. “What” demands action. “What” doesn’t feel sorry for itself.

When nothing seems to be working, focus on what feeds you. And kick what doesn’t to the curb. (And maybe, in the process, prove an “old dog can learn new tricks.)

I wanted to write a paranormal thriller series. I had a story-line I loved. I’d put a lot of time and energy into it. And as publishers sometimes do—mine said “No.”

At the same time, I was intrigued by the idea of self-publishing. So, after one too many brick walls, I did it.  Kicked the crap—things like fear and frustration—to the curb, focused on what would feed my soul and my muse, and tackled my paranormal thriller series and indie publishing.

I’m busier than I have been in years—indie publishing is a lot of work! I also continued my relationship with my traditional publisher, splitting my time between the paranormal series and my stand alone suspense novels. Trust me, sometimes I’m a crazy person!  But you know what?  I’m happy—happier now than at that “perceived pinnacle” of my career.

Longevity, I’ve learned, is fueled by joy. Joy comes by giving thanks. For the good. And the bad. Every part of the journey seasons your writing, and makes you who you were meant to be. Stop continually looking ahead and enjoy the now. Give up fighting what you can’t control, and control what you can. And finally, prove the old adage “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks” wrong—although I think I’m liking the sound of “Old chick, new tricks” much better.

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Category: Contemporary Women Writers, On Writing