Writing My Debut

I raised a glass, looked across the table at my mum and plastered the smile on my face; trying not to stare or show my heartbreak at the yellow paper Christmas cracker hat sitting too low on her thin hair, or the collar bones that jutted above her black sparkly cardigan.

‘Happy Christmas.’ I clinked glasses with her, my brother, my sister-in-law and our kids; the eight of us squeezed around a table in an over-crowded function suite. 

Slade’s ‘Merry Christmas Everybody’ boomed from the speakers, music fighting against incessant chatter and the clang of cutlery.

This would be Mum’s last Christmas and I was angry. 

Irritated that the buffet had run out of her favourite turkey stuffing, seething it was taking so long for drinks to be served, mad at the Santa pressie mix-up for the kids. Today was supposed to be perfect. A day where we wouldn’t let life and all its imperfections and unfairness affect us.

Cut to the start of February and Mum, my brother and I were sitting in the specialist’s office at Aberdeen Royal Infirmary listening to the words we’d known were coming.

The decline was rapid. Within two weeks Mum was bed-ridden, a hospital bed and commode installed in her living-room, my brother and I taking it in turns around the clock to care for her, keeping her at home as she wished. Those final days were precious. Feeding and washing her, chatting at times as if everything was OK. Eventually just holding her hand, reassuring her we were there when she could no longer respond. 

Mum was gone by the end of February.

You’re probably asking yourself, ‘Why is she telling us all this? I was expecting an article about women and writing.’

The answer is simple. I was asked to write about the background to writing my debut Hold Your Tongue. The unexpected issues. The ups and downs. My inspiration. 

Mum was integral to all that.

Growing up, books were all over my home. Mum couldn’t resist a good crime thriller. When I had my own daughter, I vowed to make story time a big part of the bed-time routine, either books or ‘brain stories’ as my two kids now call it when I make them up. 

Becoming a mother was both a celebration and a shock. Mum encouraged me to have something ‘just for me’ whilst I stayed at home to bring up my daughter. I decided to re-introduce a childhood pleasure of mine – writing. I dabbled in flash fiction and short stories whilst my daughter napped, amazed to get competition success with both.

By the time I welcomed my son into the world, my love of writing had ignited a fire in my belly. I’d spent years of my working life feeling stifled by routine. Now I was lucky enough financially to be a full-time mum. This was my chance. 

I told Mum about a writers’ forum I’d been ‘lurking on’ but lacked the confidence to join or attempt their monthly flash fiction challenge. Mum didn’t stand for that. The next day I signed up.

The challenge was to write a 200-word flash fiction inspired by a one-word prompt. The word? Sharp.

The thing that came to mind, and refused to leave, was ‘tongue so sharp’. Dabbling in supernatural and horror writing at that time, I wrote about a murderer who killed by removing his victim’s tongue. Macabre. ‘Out there’. But something I wanted to explore. I was delighted at the response. It spurred me on. Mum didn’t say ‘I told you so’ but I knew she was thinking it.

I thought nothing more of that piece – until I signed up for Professional Writing Academy’s ‘Introduction to Crime’ course. Another chat with Mum that had led to action. Those 200 words refused again to go away. I ran with it. The seed was sown, and I was being given the opportunity to let it grow.

Afterwards, I wanted to test myself further. I signed up for two more Faber courses, with Mum behind me all the way. Now I had a clear idea of my story, believing it could be a novel and, going by feedback, a half-decent one. 

I was determined to get there but the journey wasn’t without its struggles. During the second course Mum was diagnosed with terminal ovarian cancer, my relationship ended, and I moved to a new town with my kids. A single mum building a new life.

I said I wouldn’t have managed it, if not for my tutor, Tom Bromley, pushing me. Mum assured me she would’ve shoved me instead.

I was ecstatic when I finished. 

The novel was dark but life had brightened for me and the kids, and the book’s ending reflected that.

With Mum’s encouragement, I mustered the courage to send the book out, lucky to secure my fabulous agent, Oli Munson of AM Heath in the first round. It was a dream come true when Random House Germany pre-empted; surreal when Transworld followed with a UK offer.

Mum was so proud. It was bittersweet when the book blurb for my debut arrived by email two hours after she passed away, the cover design still to come. 

But she knew. 

Hold Your Tongue has released to fantastic reader reviews. They’ve described it as ‘dark, gritty and graphic’, which surprises me as in ‘real life’ I’m a big softie. 

But that fictional exploration helped me escape my reality at the time and, for that, I’m grateful. 

And I know my mum’s proud.

—

Deborah Masson was born and bred in Aberdeen, Scotland. Always restless and fighting against being a responsible adult, she worked in several jobs including secretarial, marketing, reporting for the city’s freebie newspaper and a stint as a postie – to name but a few.

Through it all, she always read crime fiction and, when motherhood finally settled her into being an adult (maybe even a responsible one) she turned her hand to writing what she loved. Deborah started with short stories and flash fiction whilst her daughter napped and, when she later welcomed her son into the world, she decided to challenge her writing further through online courses with Professional Writing Academy and Faber Academy. Her debut novel, Hold Your Tongue, is the result of those courses.

HOLD YOUR TONGUE

Gritty and close to the bone, Hold Your Tongue is a compelling, addictive read that I devoured in one sitting.’ Lisa Hall, bestselling author of Between You and Me

A brutal murder.
A young woman’s body is discovered with horrifying injuries, a recent newspaper cutting pinned to her clothing.
A detective with everything to prove.
This is her only chance to redeem herself.
A serial killer with nothing to lose.
He’s waited years, and his reign of terror has only just begun . . .

Introducing DI Eve Hunter, HOLD YOUR TONGUE is your new obsession.

***
Readers can’t stop talking about HOLD YOUR TONGUE:

‘Without a doubt the best police procedural I have read in a long time’
‘[Deborah Masson] has a long and bright future ahead if this book is anything to go by’
‘Hold Your Tongue is incredible . . . You’re in for a treat!’
‘[Stuart] MacBride has some competition’
‘Wow, what a page-turner!’
‘I can’t wait to read more of this series’
‘Addictive from the first page to the last […] If you read only one book this year make it this one’

***

‘Tense, edge-of-your-seat stuff’ Emma Curtis, bestselling author of The Night You Left

‘Expertly paced, intriguing and with a strong emotional kick – this is a great start to a fab new detective series’ SJI Holliday, author of Violet

‘A tense debut in which the past and present collide with devastating consequences. I hope to read more of DI Eve Hunter’ Mari Hannah, author of The Lost

Tags: featured, women writers

Category: On Writing