Thank You, Carolyn See: Learning To Make My Own Literary Life

How do we come by all of these writing books? Because most writers do not go out and buy a library of books all at once. Rather, they come into our lives one book at a time. We accrue the basics via instructors, classes, friends or resources listed in the back of other books. New books, well they just keep on coming, don’t they? And before we know it, we need another shelf, another bookcase, and viola, you have a lot of books. 

In 1987, I dropped out of corporate life and moved to a farm in Missouri with the first person who ever asked me what I really wanted to do with my life. “Be a writer,” popped out of my mouth so fast it must have been waiting there since high school when a life-changing English teacher sent me down the literary path. 

For the occasion of moving to the farm and starting a new life with a new partner, I launched my humble library. Because I knew some of the basics had gotten rusty, I went to a used bookstore in St. Louis and bought “The Elements of Style” and a lovely, old, bigger-than-a-breadbox dictionary. All that was easy. But what to choose for my first writing tools? “On Writing Well” by William Zinsser and “Writing with Power” by Peter Elbow felt like a solid start. I wrote an account of my adventure in a journal and mailed it to an expanding audience — my first memoir of sorts. The relationship and the money ran out at about the same time, so back to the city I went, but this time, I went as a freelance writer. 

Because I’ve moved so often, I had to keep thinning my shelves of writing books. The I’m going to read someday books were the first to go to the used bookstore. They have uncracked spines, no coffee stains or marks on the page. I could date some of them by the bookmark from the store where they were purchased. Generally, I came by them after a workshop, in an article I read, or from a friend who couldn’t “live without this book.” They are fine books, but they served more as street cred than as a writing tool for me. And to be honest, which is my style, I confess I have never made it all the way through “The Artist’s Way” and rarely complete any book with helpful exercises at the end of each chapter.

Enter Carolyn See. See’s book “Making a Literary Life: Advice for Writers and Other Dreamers” became my best friend, and I was saddened to learn that she passed away in 2016. Some writers dream about Oprah; I wanted to write a book that See would favorably review in her weekly column. In “Making a Literary Life,” a mere 258 pages, she delivered the goods in a way that worked better for me than any other book in my expanding/now-decreasing collection. She advocated for me as an author and reminded me that being a writer was the best profession ever — and how lucky I am to be in it. She understood how lonely, boring, scary and exciting it is to be such a person. Her chapters “Pretend to Be a Writer” and “Charming Notes” are laugh-out-loud funny and insightful. When is the last time you had a belly laugh reading a how-to book? 

Over the years, following See’s suggestion, I have written many authors a charming note and am always delighted when they reply. I treasure the community that they and I, however temporary in our “Thank you for your wonderful book and you’re welcome,” create. Carolyn See was right: Finally calling myself a writer has been one of the best parts of my life.

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In the past, Barbara Clarke has written extensively for corporate clients, trade magazines, worked under a Robert Wood Johnson Foundation grant, non-profit organizations as a grant writer, and for local and alternative newspapers on a variety of topics. In 2009 she published an indie memoir, “Getting to Home: Sojourn in a Perfect House,” about the process of building a house as a single woman. Other publications followed. For more info, visit https://barbaraclarke.net/. 

THE RED KITCHEN: A MEMOIR

At the age of seven, Barbara witnesses a frightening incident between her parents. She goes on to spend much of her childhood toggling between the happy family she longs for and the unhappy one she’s in but can’t repair. Disturbed by the smell of rotting leaves and an uneasy feeling about her father, she will spend half her life trying to get to the bottom of the reasons why.

As an adult, a summer in Africa allows Barbara to live without labels—wife, mother, daughter, sister—and become the woman she wants to be: funny, compassionate, complex, and often flawed. The Red Kitchen is the story of both Barbara and her mother, who, like many women, both spend much of their lives surrendering to society’s expectation to be one thing while yearning to be another. Ultimately, both women—in very different ways—come of age, find the loving parts of their mother-daughter relationship, and start living their best lives.

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Category: How To and Tips