Amy Beashel: My Writing Journey

In 2016, I wrote my first book for young adults, a novel which secured me both an agent and – surprisingly – a world record. When I realised my protagonist would attempt to become the fastest woman in the world on a space hopper, I realised too that research was key. And so… I went method. Bouncing along the sea front in Whitstable and then, when we moved to Shropshire, around my children’s school playing field may not have felt like writing but, in truth, writing is about so much more than words on the page. Writing is thinking, walking, listening, and occasionally hopping, or whatever else it is that gives your book – and you as an author – a USP. 

World record: check. Agent: check.

But.

Book deal: fail. 

And there’s the thing, despite succeeding in writing a book, despite succeeding in getting a world record and despite succeeding in finding an agent, when the book didn’t sell, ultimately the venture felt like a fail. Nevertheless, ever the optimist, albeit one who now cried a bit more, I reminded myself how much I enjoyed writing and began again. There were no gimmicks second time around, but what I did have was the unpredictable fortune of submitting a book about rape culture just as the Harvey Weinstein scandal broke. This time, I got picked up and was offered a two-book deal. 

While editing and submitting The Sky Is Mine, I also wrote my first novel for adults, Spilt Milk. After an unsuccessful first round of submissions, followed by a significant edit, we tried again. And, hallelujah, I was offered another two-book deal. 

Dream come true: check. Twice: check. Successful: Hmm, not so sure. 

I have always erred on the bright side. Honestly, I don’t see how anyone can write with the hope of publication without a heavy dose of optimism. What else, aside from a glass half full, will push you to sit, alone, in front of your computer, or submit your work time after time to agents, putting aside the rejections and forging forwards in a bid to realise your dream? Drive and ambition help, of course, but aren’t they too built on a vision we view through rose-tinted spectacles. The future is bright, the adage goes, but what happens when the imagined future becomes the lived present and isn’t as shiny as the story you’d willed yourself to believe?

With two two-book deals under my belt, to the outside, it may have seemed that I was on fire. 

But.

Perhaps it’s no coincidence Spilt Milk pokes at our preconceived notions of motherhood and shines a light on the thornier more nuanced emotions of this supposedly very happy phase of our lives. For just as I was writing about the contradictory feelings of being a parent, so too was I in the throes of the contradictory feelings of being a published author. I was both incredibly happy and incredibly sad.   

From speaking with other writers, I don’t think this is uncommon. There are certainly periods of elation but, for me, writing under contract was a very different experience from writing in blind hope and, at the very moment when I should have been at my most confident, I lost faith. In my writing. In my achievements. In my ability to remain the silver-lining’d person I’ve always been proud to be. 

It’s an ugly thing to admit but comparison is the devil on my shoulder, forever pointing out how so and so or such and such has won prizes, been on a panel at a festival, sold film rights, or become an overnight TikTok sensation. This list is endless, therefore no matter my success, there is always a marker by which that success can potentially feel like a failure. 

But.

In thinking, here, about my journey, I realised I must reassess my route. Rather than constantly aiming up, I should instead go full circle, bouncing right back to the very beginning when I first decided to write for the simple reason that I loved writing, that I loved sitting at my desk for hour after hour, word after word. As wanky as it might sound, it’s in the craft that true pleasure exists for me. There is no point, then, in putting pressure on myself to “achieve” anything but the actual writing because so much of what I’ve come to consider an “achievement” is beyond my control. And anyway, as I’ve seen, the joy in those “achievements” is often complicated and fleeting, although I do make the most of them by donning a sequinned jumpsuit in celebration whenever I possibly can. 

I suppose my point is that my writing journey is, and always will be, ongoing. If publication felt like a destination, what I realise now is that it was merely one stop in a long and meandering adventure, during which the purpose and landscape of travel will inevitably change. 

I am so grateful to the many people who have helped me to realise my ambition of publication and now also to Women Writers who, in asking me to write this, have reminded me of the most important ambition of all: enjoy the process. 

All this said, if Reese Witherspoon is reading this, let it be known that despite my new-found zen, I am still very much up for selling my movie rights, deal? 

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Twitter https://twitter.com/BeashelWrites

WE ARE ALL CONSTELLATIONS

A heartbreaking but hope-filled tale about the stories we tell ourselves to survive from the author of The Sky is Mine

A heartbreaking but hope-filled tale about the stories we tell ourselves to survive…

You are strong. You are brave. You are not alone.
Seventeen-year-old Iris is happy. She’s fearless, she’s strong. She is everything but a girl who lost her mum.

But Iris’s dad and step-mum have been keeping a secret. One big enough to unravel her. Only the magnetic Órla can provide an escape, until things get…complicated. As Iris questions who she is, it becomes clear she can’t run away from grief.

What happens when someone who has never faced up to the darkness lets it in?

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SPILT MILK

What if you said the worst thing a mother could say?
What if your husband found out about it in the national press?
And what if after all that, you didn’t regret it…?

‘My life is a tight knot I would like to undo. And, yes, there’s no use crying over spilt milk but, the truth is, I’d rather die than spill any more…’

Bea has a husband and daughter. Bea also has an appointment for a termination. Her first child changed everything – her life, her relationship, her identity. Now she has a pregnancy test and a decision to face.

This is a story about the women we (think we) know, the choices we make, the friends who stand by us and how the secrets we keep and the words left unsaid can be more dangerous than any lie we tell…

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Category: Contemporary Women Writers, How To and Tips