In Doubt We Trust

In Doubt We Trust

Why do you question what you simply know inside? Why do you mistrust the magical intuitive voice welling up from within? Have you ever known it to be wrong? 

For many years, I’ve asked these questions of women seeking acupuncture to help with everything from depression to digestive issues to diabolical menstrual cycles. More often than not, they’re shocked by my suggestion that every bodily disturbance has its root cause in a mental, emotional, and/or spiritual imbalance long before a physical issue arises. Of course, that’s easier to accept when it’s first understood how Chinese medicine sees the body-mind-spirit as one and the same – a concept our more familiar western medical system is just now beginning to embrace more fully. 

Yet in all the years I’ve asked women if their intuition was ever wrong, not a single female ever said her inner guidance had led her astray. Not one. So, you’d think all these women would be following all these intuitive promptings, right? I mean, if all these women know their gut instincts are spot on, then they must be listening to themselves, right?

Not exactly. Not when you consider how they usually answer my next question: “How often do you heed your intuition?”

Almost always, they reply, “Not very often.”

Now, I’ve worked with many women, from many backgrounds and belief systems. That includes baseball moms and boardroom CEOs. But it seems almost all women are great at doubting themselves. Forbes also reached this conclusion in a 2023 report, where they found that 75 percent of female executives experience self-doubt. And a whopping 80 percent of women worry more about failing than their male counterparts do: https://www.forbes.com/sites/lucianapaulise/2023/03/08/75-of-women-executives-experience-imposter-syndrome-in-the-workplace/?sh=4f2597826899

Forget Doubting Thomases. We’ve got a Doubting Debbie epidemic! What’s going on here? Why are so many women – and so many outwardly successful women at that – feeling so inwardly insecure?

No doubt about it – all of this doubt comes first and foremost from our culture. Societal norms teach us – beginning at very young ages – that boys as well as girls must be seen and not heard. Children learn they must ask permission and line up in alphabetical order and wait to be called on and color within the lines. And so, boys as well as girls learn to become rule followers. Yet modern society’s rules suggest females really are the “weaker sex”.

Consider the hormonal roller coaster ride that is puberty. As kids begin to “come of age,” girls will inevitably watch the boys they once bested in phys ed become taller, faster, stronger than they can ever hope to be. If a female’s self-esteem isn’t supported in healthy ways leading into those turbulent teen years, she can start to feel like the differences that develop naturally as boys and girls mature are actually testaments to her being “less than.” Add to that the tendency in more traditional households for daughters to help Mom clear the table subserviently while sons join Dad on the couch to watch TV. All things considered, it’s not hard to see how we can be setting the stage early in life for girls to doubt they can ever really measure up. 

The question is, then, how can we nurture more confidence and a “can do” attitude in gals everywhere?

For starters, from a Chinese medicine perspective, it helps to understand how certain body parts are associated with self-esteem. As an example, our digestive systems physically allow us to turn food into fuel that sustains us throughout the day. Yet the body’s primary organ responsible for transporting and transforming food – the spleen – also governs thought, according to Asian philosophy. When the spleen’s energy is weak or out of balance, we tend to have not only digestive difficulties – but a tendency to worry and overthink everything. And since worry and overthinking feed doubt, we can begin to make great strides in self-confidence simply by strengthening our digestion.

Eliminating processed foods and chewing every mouthful thoroughly before swallowing are two simple yet effective ways to improve digestion.  But beyond making better food selections and incorporating better chewing, we can also cultivate an empowering mindset by reinforcing our sense of worthiness every time we make a healthy meal choice. Energetically speaking, what we’re saying to ourselves by caring about what we eat is that we deserve nurturing and that we are worthy of all the “yumminess” life has to offer. If practiced daily, this “mindful eating” approach can go a long way toward building confidence 

Aside from the food we eat, we also tend to consume lots of television and social media every day – and so our overall sense of self can be massively impacted by a “daily diet” of worries we take in from whatever the “Negative Nellies” are broadcasting.

Choosing instead to follow influencers who promote positivity can truly help anyone feel more positive and less doubtful overall. And reading fiction that’s consciously created to uplift and empower is another helpful tool for building self-esteem. Crafting confident female characters – and showing the tips and tricks they use to empower themselves day to day throughout the story – is a key theme in my novels. Both “Atlantis Writhing” and “Atlantis Splitting” show Elysia transforming from a Doubting Debbie into a queen worthy of her lost world’s legendary crown. 

By adopting healthier eating as well as more uplifting media consumption habits, you’ll quickly learn how to nourish and nurture your own “inner queen”. And those doubts will be turning to delights in no time! 

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Jean Brannon, L.Ac., Dipl. OM (NCCAOM), is a licensed acupuncturist and author and Pollyanna promoting pure positivity. Visit her at www.jeanbrannon.com to learn more.

ATLANTIS SPLITTING

Diving into darkness is the only hope left for emerging into light

Worlds apart and on the run, star-crossed lovers Alaric and Elysia dive into their darkest night of the soul for a second chance at saving Atlantis and their happily ever after. Atlantis Splitting, sequel to Atlantis Writhing, finds the soulmates facing their personal demons in order to overcome the evil toppling their mysterious ancient empire. Yet with the Highest Light fellowship split and scattered, a Dark Heart queen emerges – one whose otherworldly magic powers are poised to overthrow a king playing all sides against his madness. Pulse-pounding thrills reign in this can’t-put-it-down epic romantic fantasy of betrayal, back-door deals, and bedroom alliances – will the cruel karma ever end?

BOOK TWO in the Highest Light series: Atlantis Splitting

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Category: On Writing