THE MARRIED WIDOW: EXCERPT

Diane Papalia’s world was turned upside down when she met Bob Zappa, “the man with the chocolate brown eyes,” in 1986. They were immediately drawn to each other. Over the course of 27 years, their stars would cross again and again, but it was complicated for them to be together. It wasn’t until 2013 that Diane and Bob were free to commit to being together. This is Diane’s story about their journey across those years, and how their love endured. The Married Widow is a poignant look at a beautiful love story between two people who waited years to finally be together.

CHAPTER 26
MY READING WITH THE PSYCHIC MEDIUM DREW CALI

Still, even with the assurances of the medium Patty MacGillivray that Bob was around, at six months after he passed away, I was at a low point. I had a core group of friends who had stood by me. But many people I thought would offer support had vanished. I was alone, lonely, and didn’t really know where to turn. Then I remembered that a friend from college had told me about a well-regarded psychic medium, Drew Cali, founder of The Cali Center in Ramsey, New Jersey. I was dubious. But something had made me keep his contact information.

At the six-month mark after Bob’s passing, I was sad, depressed, and willing to try just about anything. So I got in touch with Drew and on May 28, 2019, I had my first reading from him, using Zoom. The read- ing began with Drew telling me to keep my responses brief. So I stuck with “yes” or “no” when I could. After an appearance by my parents, whom Drew as- sured me were together, he asked, “Does the name Bob mean anything to you?” I simply said yes, not re- vealing who Bob was. Then the messages started. He said Bob wants you to know you were “made for each other” and that you were “his life” and “his rock.” Bob also wanted to tell me that nothing had been left un- said between us.

Drew said he felt that Bob passed suddenly and unexpectedly, which was true. He went on to tell me that Bob wanted me to know that what happened the night he passed away was exactly what was meant to happen; it was his time. I found that reassuring, as I had always wondered if I could have done more to save him. And then Bob said it was “nicer” where he was than he expected it would be, and I would like it there!

Drew captured many aspects of Bob’s personality: his integrity, his sense of humor, his need for struc- ture and order in his life, and his pride in being a Marine. Toward the end of the reading Drew asked me, “Does the name Frank mean anything?” Drew told me that Frank and Bob are together and “very inter- connected.” He told me that he saw that one of them “took care of” the other on earth, which of course was what Frank did for Bob. When I asked what they were doing, Drew said they were “playing music.” It was interesting because of course Drew had no idea the “Frank” he channeled was Frank Zappa.

The 45 minutes were just about up. But Drew did pass along some final messages. Bob wanted me to know he’s around all the time, and that he is keep- ing me safe. When it was my time, Bob assured me he would come for me and we would finally be together forever. Drew said the energy between Bob and me was so strong that it was easy to receive his messages.

This experience with Drew was life changing. Nothing that Drew said could be Googled or other- wise found on line. These were exactly the feelings Bob would have expressed to me in life. And it reassured me that although he isn’t physically present, he is still very much with me. 

CHAPTER 27 

THE MARRIED WIDOW

My second reading with Drew took place on April 2, 2020. Since he already knew about Bob and me, this reading was more give-and-take than the first one. I was encouraged to elaborate on my response, and even to ask questions.

My mom showed up first and said that she liked that I had been wearing her wedding ring. I had been wearing her ring, along with my grandmother’s, on the ring finger of my left hand since my rings had dis- appeared. I went on to tell Drew what happened. On Sunday, June 9, 2019, I had a celebration of Bob’s life, a party really, at our place. It started at 6:00 pm. Be- fore it started, at about 5:45, I washed my hands, and saw that my rings were on my finger, right where they always are. At about 6:15, I was talking with Dweez- il and his wife Megan, and was shocked to see that my rings had vanished. Megan mentioned that when they arrived at around 6:10 she was surprised I wasn’t wearing my rings. So sometime between 5:45 and 6:10 the rings went missing. We turned the place upside down, but they were nowhere to be found.

Fast forward to six months later, December 7. I was giving our annual Christmas party. I used the same caterers that I had hired in June, but they brought a different “cater waiter.” Shortly before the party be- gan I left my bedroom to see how they were doing. But when I left the room, I spied a single shiny dime on the floor outside the bedroom door. I called out to the caterers asking if they believed in “pennies from heaven” because I just found a dime. Then I mentioned it was too bad it hadn’t been my rings as they had yet to turn up. The waiter overheard and told me she was an “intuitive” (I found out later that’s a type of medium) and she would find the rings; she just needed to concentrate. A few hours into the party there was a commotion in the kitchen. She had found the rings, all three nestled together, at the bottom of the ice bin in the freezer, one place no one thought to check back in June. I put the rings back on, of course— just a few hours before the first anniversary of Bob’s death on December 8.

Drew told me it took an enormous amount of energy to move those rings, but by concentrating his energy -Bob could do that. But why would he? I like to think when he returned the rings he was asking me to marry him all over again and by putting them back on I was telling him “yes.”

Drew also told me that Bob wanted me to know that he caused the unexplained sounds I had been hearing in the apartment. I told Drew that every night at 6:25 I would hear several knocks that sounded like they came from the kitchen ceiling. Later in the read- ing Drew asked if I had a rocking chair because he saw one rocking, presumably caused by Bob. I had for- gotten that I have one upstairs. Then I realized that chair is right above the spot in the kitchen where I hear the sounds! (Since the lockdown of the COVID pandemic, the knocks occur exactly every six hours. I think it is Bob’s way of telling me that even though I’m isolated, I’m not alone.)

Drew also told me that Bob wanted to assure me that when I think I see him, I really do see him. This has happened five times so far. I’ve seen him on the staircase, I’ve seen him dashing across the living room, and I’ve seen him glowing at the foot of our bed. It all happens in a flash but it is real. In the middle of one night, I could actually feel him. I sensed “someone” was behind me in bed. I wasn’t afraid. I felt his arm around me. We hugged a bit and we talked. I asked him what it’s like where he is and he told me it’s “wonderful.” Being an Italian girl I wanted to know if he was eating; he said he didn’t need to. And I asked if he had a body. He told me no, “it’s all energy here.” Finally, he reassured me he would come get me when it’s my time. Then he vanished.

So, I was now my own medium and I was channeling my husband! I had become the married widow.

And that is the end of our story. At least for now . . .

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Diane Papalia Zappa earned her PhD in lifespan developmental psychology in 1971. She went on to teach human development courses to thousands of students at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, attaining the rank of tenured full professor of child and family studies at the age of 30. While in Madison, she and co-author Sally Wendkos Olds wrote A Child’s World (now in its thirteenth edition) and Human Development (in its fifteenth edition).  Her memoir, The Married Widow, was published in 2021.

In 1986, while still a professor in Madison, she met Frank Zappa’s younger brother, Bob, who was the marketing manager for one of her books. They married in 2015.

Find out more about Diane on her website https://www.dianepapaliazappa.com/

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