My Transformation from ‘Slob’ to ‘Snob’— and Why I Wrote It Down

“Girl, ye getting above ye’ raisin’.” That’s what I was told. Anytime I talked about my dreams of being wealthy and successful, I was shot down with that statement. Wanting more was wrong. Wanting more meant I was a stuck-up snob. Being socialized in rural Kentucky has its fair share of disadvantages, especially growing up in the 70s and 80s when belief systems were even more archaic than they are now. What got me was it was totally embraced for men to be wealthy and successful, but not women. Women were perceived as the weaker sex. I had adopted that belief by the age of six or seven. 

Where I was raised, questioning authority would land you an ass-whooping, but right before I turned 30, something clicked in my brain. I started questioning things. My intuition was enhanced. I saw straight through people as though they were cellophane. I didn’t like what I saw. Breakthroughs happen when you least expect them. I was 29. I’ll never forget what happened as long as I live because I finally responded differently to being told who I should be and what my capabilities were. 

I was visiting Dad. He was hosting a crowd of people, as usual. He overheard me talking about a house I wanted to buy in a subdivision he thought was snooty. He strutted past me in his fluorescent swimming trunks, holding his red solo cup high, and said, “Girl, ye getting above ye’ raisin’.” Something about that comment hit differently. Without giving it a second thought, I said, “God, I hope so.” The look on Dad’s face went from arrogant to angry. Right then and there, the Thought Snob was born. 

I read a study that said the first critical spurt of brain development occurs between the ages of 2 and 7. During that time, children soak up everything and believe what they see and hear without much questioning. Our experiences during this phase of brain development have lasting effects on our growth. This is when untruths seep into the subconscious mind, and those untruths get really comfy if they aren’t forced to move out. I didn’t force mine out until I became fed up with experiencing more heartbreak than love for the first 30 years of my life. 

Although I wasn’t raised in poverty, I was heavily influenced by it. My parents were raised in cruel poverty. People raised in poverty develop what I refer to as the Poverty-Invaded Mindset (PIM). I unknowingly inherited PIM because I soaked up their beliefs and behaviors, and they were always worried about not having enough of anything. People with PIM share one commonality – They expect defeat. My mindset was rooted in an expectation of defeat at a very young age, and I anticipated the worst-case scenario in every situation. 

When I was around 28 or 29, I couldn’t take any more stress. I was sick of constantly losing, never getting what I wanted, and being disrespected and abused. Out of the clear blue sky, a Wayne Dyer book landed in my lap. What I read in that book was the only thing that had ever made any sense to me up until that point, and I had a realization. I was the problem. I was attracting horrible people, places, and things. With that new awareness, my whole life changed, and it changed for the better. I got above my raisin’. 

I went full throttle into a self-empowerment transformation that started with a newfound awareness. My awareness led to empathy, which opened the door to forgiveness, gratitude, self-love, and compassion. Meditation replaced madness. Solitude and silence replaced “happy hour,” which was more like a self-destruction hour that never ended. People dropped off like flies, and I let them go. For the first time, I paid attention when people showed me who they were. I successfully escaped havoc and moved into happiness, and I wrote Thought Snob: The Modern Spiritual Playbook for a Better Life to teach people how to do the same thing. If your upbringing was more like a down-bringing, having someone like me to help you claw your way out changes the trajectory of your entire life. 

My transition from havoc to happiness wasn’t easy. I had spent years investing in a property in hell on earth, and it took a decade to sell it. During that time, I did my due diligence with the inner work without any support except from the authors who wrote the self-help books I read. Those books taught me how to strengthen my emotional intelligence and live on purpose, which was the opposite of how I had lived in the past. Throughout this process, I learned the “secret” to have whatever I wanted, and I thought, “If I can do this, anyone can do this.” The result of that thought was writing a self-help book that teaches the one characteristic that anyone must have to achieve the life of their dreams: strong emotional intelligence. 

Thought Snob is my cutting-edge trademarked concept and an idea that spawned from what I was told as a child – “Girl, ye’ getting above ye’ raisin’.” SNOB is an acronym for See New Objective Beliefs. It is my brainchild. I developed Thought Snob to help people clean out the garbage in their subconscious minds. My subconscious used to be a landfill. Now, it looks more like the grounds at the Biltmore Estate. I cleaned it up using SNOB. Instead of living by subjective beliefs, which are nothing more than the opinions of others, I looked at the facts. When you look at the facts, you realize that most of your thoughts are not true. 

With all of this said, if my life story were a headline, it would read: An Unruly Rural Woman Who Figured It All Out. 

Wait a minute… that sounds like my next book! 

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Paula Swope is an author and speaker in the field of self-development. With a bachelor’s degree in political science and a master’s degree in public administration, Paula spent a decade raising more than $60 million in grants for impoverished communities. Trained in Transcendental Meditation, Primordial Sound Meditation, and Tapping, she holds a certification in Meditation and Ayurveda Health, and is also a Deepak Chopra-Certified Instructor affiliated with the Institute of Integrative Nutrition.

When she’s not providing advice or running workshops for her devoted social media following, Paula enjoys traveling, listening to music, and spending time at home with her husband and two dogs.

Thought Snob: The Modern Spiritual Playbook for a Better Life

Are you tired of living a mediocre life? Do you want to find a way to rid yourself of guilt and inner turmoil? Does your soul tell you that you’re destined for greatness, but your mind is telling you that’s impossible?

In Thought Snob, author Paula Swope shows you how to create the life you truly deserve through the amazing power that dwells within you: your thoughts.

After years of trauma, abuse and endless struggle, Paula learned how to transform her life and now she’s sharing it with you in her trademark down-to-earth style, filled with humor, compassion and plenty of personal life stories. Through Paula’s extraordinary ‘Thought S.N.O.B.’ process, you’ll learn how to See New Objective Beliefs to help move you out of havoc and into happiness.

In addition to her bachelor’s and master’s degrees, Paula is a Chopra-certified meditation instructor, Ayurveda specialist, and Total Well-Being Life Coach. Everything she did to escape scarcity and achieve abundance is embedded in each chapter. You’ll learn how to…

Reverse Disempowering Subconscious Beliefs
Be Respected, Loved, and Appreciated
Attract What You Want
Live a Longer, Healthier Life
Eliminate Toxic People, Places, and Things
This book offers the highest quality coaching you could ever receive from the comfort of your own home. Within one month of using Paula’s techniques, you won’t recognize yourself because you’ll have gone from self-loathing to self-love, and the people who have treated you poorly will wish they hadn’t.

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Category: On Writing