The Inspiration For Finding KIND: Discovering Hope and Purpose While Loving Kids with Invisible Neurological Differences
Kari A. Baker
I never planned to become an author, which is ironic since I spent 30 years in the financial services business as – you guessed it – a planner. But when my son was diagnosed with autism at age 3, my plan went out the window.
I started writing what would ultimately become Finding KIND in 2018, just a few years later. A woman from my Bible Study offhandedly commented that I should write a book after I described another particularly painful experience with my son to the sympathetic and prayerful ladies around the table. At first, I scoffed. A book? I’m not a writer!
The idea fluttered around in my head, and I realized a book may not be as crazy as I initially thought. Could telling our family’s story meet a need for other parents who have recently received a diagnosis for a child?
When we first realized Brady was autistic, I searched everywhere for a book that would break through the prison walls of solitary confinement to which I often felt sentenced as a special needs mom. I wanted to connect with another family whose parenting journey looked like ours. I wanted acknowledgment that my grief was normal, but that hope was still possible.
One day I sat down at my computer and the words seemed to gush out of me like water out of a fire hose. I wrote furiously almost every day for several months, logging tens of thousands of words and several excruciatingly long chapters. I came up with the acronym “KIND” – kids with invisible neurological differences – which was a perfect description of children like Brady who have no outwardly visible disability, but whose brains are wired differently.
However, just as quickly as the literary flow started, it dried up. I ran out of words. I told all the hard stories and wasn’t sure where to go from there. Should I advise about therapies? I wasn’t a therapist. Should I research state support networks? I knew Arizona’s system, but I wasn’t ready to dive into 49 other programs. I gave the stack of printed pages to my husband John and asked him to give me his honest opinion. I knew he wouldn’t sugarcoat his review, but I admit his response surprised me.
“What you’ve written makes it seem really hard to be Brady’s mom. Is that what you want to put out in the world?” Ouch. I most certainly did NOT want anyone, especially Brady, to believe becoming his mother was anything but the greatest joy of my life.
So, I stopped writing. I put the pages in a drawer in the office, and decided the manuscript was an exercise in cathartics – a way for me to vent and make peace with a life that was wildly different from my plan.
Over the next few years, as Brady continued to grow and progress, so did my faith. I began to see his autism through God’s eyes as a very precise, purposeful, part of his personality, not as a punishment or failed plan. My visceral need to cling to a life story that was not mine to write was dragging me down and preventing me from embracing who my son was always meant to be.
So, when I had the opportunity to sell my financial consulting practice in 2023, I walked away and focused on how to bring KIND to life. I still wrote about the hard things, and I was thankful to have the pages of memories documented from my earlier attempt as my recollection of events seems to get dimmer every year. This time, however, I also wrote about how faith found me, how community bolstered me, and how my son amazed me.
This time, I wrote about hope and purpose in the KIND journey, and how to redirect your life when your impeccable plan implodes.
Finding KIND is for anyone who is struggling to make sense of circumstances outside of their control, and will resonate directly with anyone who knows or loves a kid with invisible neurological differences.
About the Author:
Kari A. Baker is a Christian mom, author, speaker, and podcaster. She is an avid blogger on the topics of faith, special needs parenting, and finding your purpose.
She is the founder of KIND Families, a community of people who love Kids with Invisible Neurological Differences. The KIND Community is for parents, caregivers, friends and advocates of kids whose brains work differently than their peers, but have no outwardly visible disability. She is also the host of The KIND Families Podcast.
Kari became a KIND mom in 2014 when her son Brady was diagnosed with autism at age three.
Her new book ‘Finding KIND: Discovering Hope and Purpose While Loving Kids with Invisible Neurological Differences’ will be released on October 22, 2024, published by Blue Hat Publishing.
Kari and her husband, John, live in Scottsdale with their son Brady and their hound dog, Princess Leia.
To learn more, visit https://kariabaker.com/ or connect with Kari on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn.
Finding KIND: Discovering Hope and Purpose While Loving Kids with Invisible Neurological Differences
“When an earthquake occurs, the tectonic plates shift far beneath the surface, and they never go back to where they started.”
Kari Baker always loved a good plan. But when her only son Brady was diagnosed with autism in 2014 and ADHD in 2016, her plans for a typical parenting experience were shaken to the core. Her journey started with all the pain, uncertainty, and isolation that so many special needs parents encounter, but along the way she found faith, community, and joy in surrendering to God’s design.
Finding KIND is an account of Kari’s initial awakening to Brady’s neurological differences, the early years adapting to life as an autism mom, and later accepting and appreciating Brady for exactly who God made him to be.
Ultimately, Kari’s experiences as a KIND Mom offer practical suggestions for thriving when the best laid plans go awry. Anyone who knows and loves a kid with invisible neurological differences or who is exploring faith in the midst of life’s challenges will find hope and encouragement in Kari’s story.
“As a developmental pediatrician, I often wonder how parents of children with autism and other disabilities cope. And would I ever be able to rise to that challenge? Kari Baker shares some of her life secrets in this gem of a book. It is an ode to the impact of positive, mindful and persistent parenting of exceptional individuals. Certainly germane to parents of children with autism, but in reality, a lesson for the rest of us.” – Raun Melmed, MD, Co-founder and Medical Director of Southwest Autism Research and Resource Center and Director of Cortica Scottsdale, and Author of “Autism and the Extended Family: A Guide for Those Who Know and Love Someone with Autism” and “Autism Parent Handbook: Starting with the End Goal in Mind”
Category: Contemporary Women Writers