Authors Interviewing Characters: E.L. Deards

Spanning decades, Wild With All Regrets follows the psychological journey and descent of Lucas Connolly, a young gay man with a heart full of secrets. Born in turn-of-the-century Dublin to an overworked mother and a father who couldn’t understand him, Lucas finds love and acceptance for the first time in his dearest friend Jamie Murray. This attachment morphs into something sinister and unhealthy as Lucas keeps his desperate love a secret, fearing that his true nature will destroy the best thing he has in his life. The pair are enlisted to fight in the great war where Jamie, fragile and damaged from the horrors of battle, is killed on the field. Lucas has to live with Jamie’s ghost in more ways than one, as he tries to sort through his grief.

E.L. Deards interviews Jamie Murray and Lucas Connoly:

ELD: Mr. Murray, Mr. Connolly, I’m pleased you agreed to do this interview.

JM: Oh you must call me Jamie, Miss!  Mr. Murray was my father.

LC: Jesus Christ, here we go.

JM: What? [His arm falls over Lucas’ shoulders and they bump their heads together] Lucas, you’re being dreadfully rude.

LC: Oh come on, we both know what you’re like. 

[to ELD] He’s trying to bed you.

JM: Lucas!

LC: Give it ten minutes. He won’t be able to help himself.

JM: It’s not my fault I’m so sweet and endearing, Lucas. It’s a curse, truly. 

[He’s smiling, and LC rolls his eyes affectionately]

ELD: Um, guys—

LC: I don’t even know why you agreed to this! What part of the timeline is this from anyway?!  You just implied your father’s dead, which means that this is very close to the timeline where you go mad and everything goes to shit. How are you even here?

JM: [laughing] Isn’t that the whole plot of the book? We wouldn’t want to create any wretched spoilers, would we? Not to speak of breaking the fourth wall! Poor Miss Deards, taking this time out of her busy schedule to—

ELD: It’s Dr. Deards, actually…

JM: A doctor! And here we are wasting her time by arguing like silly things. 

We do love each other, really.

LC: He’s impossible. Please don’t encourage him, I’ll never hear the end of it.

JM: Oh, come now, you didn’t even want to do the interview!

LC: Because I know what you’re like! You’ll flirt ‘til we both get in trouble, and then with my bloody luck she’ll say something that’ll cause you to lose yourself and it’ll be a fucking nightmare getting you right again!

JM: I’m fine.  Don’t pay him any mind.

ELD: Actually, that’s an interesting point I was hoping we could cover. 

It’s been an important topic in the media recently: how do we tackle challenging aspects of mental health and neurodiversity?  

Jamie, during the war, what challenges did you face when you found your mental state deteriorating?

JM: ….

LC: Oh fucking Christ [pulling JM into a hug] 

C’mon, stay with me boyo.  You’re aright, aright?  I’ve got you.

JM: [clings to LC]

ELD: I— I’m sorry Jamie, I didn’t mean to—

LC: No one ever fucking means to do anything.  You fucked up, now he’s fucked up, hope you’re fucking happy with yourself.

ELD: I mean I could call someone, or—

LC: You’re a DOCTOR, right? You fix this mess.

ELD: I’m not that sort of Doctor—

LC: Biiiiig fucking surprise.  Jamie?  Jamie you still with me?

JM: Mm.  

ELD: We can stop here if you want—

LC: Finally.

JM: No! There’s no need for that. Lucas, we’ve never been interviewed before!  I’ll be fine. Maybe if we just avoid certain topics like… you know, that whole ugly shell shock business.  

LC: Or your father. Or your death. Or everything else that happens in this misery fest of a book. Why do you think anyone is gonna buy this?

ELD: I’m not sure that many people will buy it. I wanted to tell a beautiful, honest story, but it is a sad one.

LC: [glances at JM as if to say “why are we still here?”]

ELD: Readers will wonder whether the two of you ever… you know, hooked up? What would you say to answer that?

LC: Now hold on, bitch, you think I’m gonna—

JM: No, no that’s quite an interesting question! Lucas and I have an… I’d say rather complicated relationship. And I think considering the time period we’re in, both of us find the notion of alternate sexualities to be a bit alien and taboo.  

LC: [silent, staring]

JM: But… I imagine it would have happened one day, if I hadn’t been killed. 

[To Lucas] We were so close, weren’t we? We loved each other in a way it was hard to explain to others.

LC: I— ah—

ELD: I think that’s a beautiful sentiment, Jamie. Thank you so much for sharing with me.

LC: You— what?

ELD: I mean, I’ve probably got enough to work with here if the two of you want to find somewhere private to… talk?

LC: Ah— yeah.  Yeah that’d be good. Thanks, Miss. I mean, Doctor. 



ELD: Think nothing of it. And I hope things improve for you!  

JM:  Anything is possible, and I hope your book will help. 

[Attempts to say more, but is dragged off by LC. They vanish, smiling, into the darkness.]

BUY HERE

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E.L. Deards grew up in New York City and attended Barnard College at Columbia University for her undergraduate degree. She studied Japanese literature and biology and won two awards for writing during this time. She was then accepted to The University of Edinburgh and completed her veterinary degree, and remained in the UK after completing her degree. All throughout this time she has been honing her craft and writing every single day. She loves being a vet, but writing gives her more peace and satisfaction than anything in the world.

 

 

 

 

Tags: featured, women writers

Category: Interviews, On Writing