Bundle of Joy

My husband and I both have high-pressure jobs. We both have two children at home who are under the age of eight. We both have a house to pay for and maintain. We both need sleep, food, haircuts, a social life, and downtime. And we both need to find time for the new season of The Handmaid’s Tale.

The difference is, I am frequently asked—by everyone from strangers in the grocery store to my own mother—how do you balance it all?

Perhaps the question they are really getting at is: “How do you keep your priorities straight?” Or maybe it’s, “You’re dropping the ball somewhere, aren’t you?” Or maybe they are just kind strangers trying to pass the time in the checkout line. Either way, my balance is a frequent topic of conversation.

And how I respond when asked about balance is to admit that yes, I have days I’m so tired and overwhelmed that I cry in the kitchen while yelling at my husband “I just can’t do it all!” Or yes, I believe that the system around me is significantly more challenging for working mothers than working fathers. Or no, I’ve still not had the time I want to try those period panties everyone’s raving about.

When we ask women how they are finding balance, we are approaching them from a place of scarcity. There are only so many pans on a scale, after all, so there are only so many ways to evenly distribute the weight. Geez, the concept of balance involves scales and weight. How much more gendered can this topic be?

The point is, when we question women about balance, we slant the narrative toward getting us to slow down, separate out our wants, measure them, evaluate them equally, and make decisions—implying we need to let some things go.

After all, balance requires delicacy, precision, and tension. But I don’t want to be any of that. Instead, I want people to ask me about what I’ve bundled. Bundling entails strength, flexibility, and value.

Please let me be that.

If we focused on women being able to bundle, we would push them into leadership, provide them with resources, and celebrate their wins. We would encourage them to gather up everything they want knowing the sum will be greater than the parts. After all, the value of a bundle, whether in cable and internet or work and life, is the opportunity to combine separate pieces into a stronger whole.

If we encouraged bundling we wouldn’t ask, “How will you manage leadership and parenthood?” We would instead say, “Oh, great, you have a leadership position and children. What else would you like to add?” Rather than acting in a scarcity mindset, we shift to an attitude of abundance. After all, with a bundle, the more you add, the more valuable the whole deal becomes.

I’ve currently bundled a career as a professor and leader of a graduate program at a major university, a published author, an executive coach, and a speaker for leadership groups, women’s networking events, and company retreats.

I’m a better mother because I’ve bundled a fulfilling career that will one day inspire my own kids to pursue careers they love. My family life makes me better at work because I understand the concerns of my mid-career students who are working on their own bundles. Both my family and my career are what I write about, and I get asked to speak about what I write. It’s all an intertwined bundle that has more value because it’s all packaged together.

When I think about work/life balance, I tense up, feeling defensive about how I’m distributing my time and energy. But when I think about my work/life bundle, I’m suddenly proud of the value in all I’ve gathered.

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Dr. Meg Myers Morgan is an assistant professor at the University of Oklahoma and the director of graduate programs in Public Administration and Nonprofit Management on the OU-Tulsa campus. Meg’s collection of essays, Harebrained: It seemed like a good idea at the time, won the gold medal for humor from the Independent Publisher Book Awards (IPPY). She gave a TED Talk, “Negotiating for Your Life”, for TEDxOU in 2016. She speaks publicly about recruiting and retaining talent; negotiating in work and life; and developing women as leaders. Meg holds a PhD and an MPA from the University of Oklahoma, and a degree in English and Creative Writing with honors from Drury University. She is currently pursuing a graduate certificate in Executive and Leadership Coaching from Columbia University. She lives in Tulsa with her husband and their two young daughters.

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Everything Is Negotiable: The 5 Tactics to Get What You Want in Life, Love, and Work

Surprising ways women leave opportunities for happiness on the table, and how to negotiate better terms in life, love, and work.

Dr. Meg Myers Morgan, an expert in personal and professional negotiations, deconstructs our preconceived notions about adulthood, parenthood, and career paths and illuminates how they can limit us. Drawing from her experiences personally mentoring and professionally coaching her graduate students, raising her kids, and achieving success in her own career, this is a must-read for high-potential women balancing work and life. Chock full of powerful advice, case studies, and laugh-out-loud stories, this humorous yet commanding book will inspire you to clarify goals, overcome doubts, have a healthy relationship with ambition, and set the terms for the life you want.

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