Finding Balance in Isolation

Last week, I had to issue a blanket threat: “The next person who tells me I should be getting so much writing done at home, I will ignore social isolation and get within 6ft to cut you.”

You see, like many writers suddenly thrust into our homes with our families, I’m not blessed with an abundance of time, space, and creative leeway. I’m not sitting around with hours in which I can expand my craft, dive into my story, and create something beautiful.

No. Instead, I have been dropped into the equivalent of an exam, where I haven’t studied a single day for the subject, and the answers are due in six minutes. And oh, yeah. I’m not the student. I’m the teacher.

My son’s school went on lockdown a little over two weeks ago with an indeterminate end date, and no clear indication of what the next two to six weeks would hold when it came to homeschooling. This isn’t the school’s fault, naturally. The Coronavirus epidemic has hit us all suddenly and with the force of an F-5 tornado, ripping all of our routines, schedules, and normal coping measures up by the roots and is rapidly flinging them at us like fence post spears. I feel like I’m constantly dodging anxiety, depression, and toddler tantrums, it’s no wonder I have felt like I have no time to write.

But with two weeks of isolation under my belt, and a settling resignation to this new normal, I have actually developed some techniques for balancing the demands of parenting, homeschooling, and, yes, even my own writing. They may not work for everyone. Goodness, they may not even work for me in another week. For now, though, here are five ways I’ve used to find balance in quarantine.

First, establishing a routine. This is especially important for school-age kids. When school was still in session, my entire family was up every day at 6:30, out the door by 7:30 to catch the bus. Our morning starts a little bit later, now, but I am still making it a priority to wake up around the same time each morning. We get dressed (clean yoga pants totally count, as long as you aren’t in the same clothes you slept in) and have breakfast. After eating, we start school every morning by 9am.

The consistency of the routine is important both to establish a sense of normalcy, but also to make sure I have time to write. Built into my schedule is me time.

After about an hour of schoolwork (mostly reading, watching instructional videos, some math), we break for snack. This is now my time. I plop my kids in front of Paw Patrol for half an hour, and I get to work. In today’s snack break, I have written about 500 words. I don’t always manage to get so much done. Some days I literally just stare at the screen and stress. Other days I only get a few sentences down. The important thing is setting aside that time just for my work. I wouldn’t even have that if we didn’t have our routine.

Second, moving my body. Every morning, while my husband takes care of breakfast for everybody, my son and I take the dog for a morning walk. That initial burst of exercise helps wake us both up and get us ready for the day. Unfortunately, it also gets my five-year-old son all riled up and too antsy to do schoolwork. So, when we get home, we turn on Cosmic Kids Yoga and center ourselves. Getting physical helps everyone reconnect with their bodies, keeps us healthy, and gets out some of the built-up energy of being stuck in our homes. It’s also great stress relief.

Third, putting better stuff in my body. This is one I’m trying to implement. In the first week of isolation, I caught myself defaulting to a glass or four of wine each night. In part, it was because I was so stressed and scared and overwhelmed. Instead of making me feel better, though, all that wine just made me feel worse. Not to mention it was eventually going to add the stress of gaining weight with all of those empty calories. I’m taking my own advice from my last Women Writers essay, and when I drink, making it a purposeful decision and a positive experience. If I want a cocktail, I’ll take the time to make something special, and I’ll keep it to one. No more casually sipping at wine while I fold laundry and look up the latest statistics of this crisis; there are better ways to relax.

I’m also making it a point to eat healthier foods. In flattening the curve, we’ve cut down our grocery trips significantly, so fresh fruits and vegetables are at a bit of a premium. I’m trying to incorporate more frozen and canned veggies into our meals, and making batch meals the whole family can enjoy. White chicken chili with extra beans and fresh spinach tossed in can fill several meals throughout the week, and a cheesy broccoli casserole can be a side dish to any number of dinners. By making large healthy meals at the beginning of the week, I can also sneak in a few more minutes every day for writing time. Instead of making something new every day, I spend one day making several meals at once, and use dinner prep time throughout the week for getting words on the page.

Fourth, checking in with friends. Isolation and quarantine don’t have to mean solitude in our digital age. There are many ways to check in with your friends and family. Old fashioned phone calls and letters/emails are all well and good, but I’ve been benefitting from Zoom chats and Facetime playdates. Let your kids have a meetup with their friends. They can all watch a movie together on Netflix Party. Pop some popcorn, make some special treats, and let them talk through the movie.

You can also meet up with your critique partners. My group is trying to do weekly write-ins through Zoom. We log-in, chat for a bit, then get to work; apart, but together. It creates accountability and reminds us we’re not in this alone. Just the simple act of touching base with other writers lends incredible support and can help you make it through the hardest days.

Fifth, and finally, letting go of expectations. There are an abundance of memes and “inspirational” posts on social media insisting that social isolation is prime time for creativity. “Write that book! Create your masterpiece!” Newton developed a theory of gravity during a quarantine, they insist. Shakespeare wrote King Lear. What’s your excuse?

What those “inspirational” posts fail to mention is the fact that Shakespeare was fully supported by his patrons and benefited by the fact that his main playwright rivals perished during that time. Newton got to hole up in his family’s vast estate. Neither of them had Twitter and constantly updating news, and they sure as heck didn’t have children to homeschool.

So, give yourself a break. This is an unprecedented time, and none of us quite know how to navigate this. If you go days without writing anything, it’s okay. Go play a video game. Read a book. Netflix and Quarantine. Whatever you need to do to recharge. If you have one day of extreme productivity, great! But don’t feel like you have to reproduce that every day. We all have to take this one day at a time, keeping ourselves and our families healthy, and navigating this new normal. We don’t have to write our next masterpiece, but we might just get through this together. And I might not have to cut anyone trying to “inspire” me on Twitter.

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Sara Bond’s debut novel GRAVITY’S HEIR comes out February 6, 2020 from Black Rose Writing. It’s an action-filled space opera and pairs well with a classic whiskey sour. For more drink recipes and reviews, check out the Pairings Project at www.saratbond.com.

GRAVITY’S HEIR

“Legacy is nothing but history, if it doesn’t have a future.”

When her father threw her out, sacrificing his only living daughter for the good of his shipping conglomerate, Lena Lomasky swore she could make it on her own. But now she’s broke and desperate, and pride won’t fuel her spaceship. Her latest job is simple: carry a datastick of state secrets home to her father. The same man who cut her off without a cent. Whatever. She can do this. Pass the whiskey.

An ill-timed royal assassination ignites a war and Lena’s crew is blamed. When she thinks to use her cache of state secrets to save them, Lena discovers she’s actually smuggling the only known plans for her father’s invention: a gravity bomb that can vaporize entire cities.

Lena must decide: continue on and hope her father can design a defense to save millions of lives, or leverage the plans to save the only people who really matter.

BUY THE BOOK HERE

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Category: Contemporary Women Writers, How To and Tips