Having It All – It’s Not As Easy As It Sounds….

I grew up believing it was possible to have it all – a career, a family, and anything else I wanted. My parents encouraged me to get a good education and become an independent woman. I went to a progressive all-girls’ school, where we were expected to work hard, get good grades and embrace every opportunity that came our way. 

By the time I became pregnant, in my early thirties, I’d already done lots of different things in my life and was settled in London with a good job and decent career prospects.

Like all first-time mothers, my views on parenthood were shockingly naïve. I vaguely knew we’d have to organise childcare after the baby was born, but it never occurred to me that being a mother would affect my career plans. 

Then my son was born, and everything changed. For starters, nothing had prepared me for the visceral, life-changing love that consumed me in the months following his birth (and still consumes me today as he’s about to leave home and embark on his own first steps into the adult world). Alongside this, I rapidly started to realise I’d been sold a lie. 

Because going back to work fulltime, continuing with my career, wasn’t an option. Apart from the cripplingly expensive costs of fulltime childcare, I simply didn’t want to hand my child over to someone else for five days every week. 

Like a lot of parents before and since, my husband and I decided that one of us would work part-time. Like so many of these parents, we agreed that it would be me – the mother – who switched to part-time working. In 2001, asking to work part-time effectively meant giving up on your career aspirations. In my case, I ended up doing a full-time job in part-time hours, while also juggling the demands of family life – never feeling I was doing a good job with either.

I started writing after my second child was born in 2006. I’d always wanted to be a writer but, when I was younger, I didn’t have the confidence to think I could actually do it. In a strange way, my lack of career options was the catalyst I needed. I’d spent several years watching my career go nowhere; working with men my age who were able to devote as much time as they needed to their careers because they had partners, like me, who worked part-time. Because as all parents will tell you, the parent who works part-time carry the lion’s share of the family duties.

While I was on maternity leave, I had a lightbulb moment: my life wasn’t going to change unless I did something about it myself. The burning ambition to be a writer resurfaced and I knew it was now or never. The timing wasn’t ideal – two young children and a job I couldn’t afford to walk away from – but I didn’t want to waste any more time. I started to write, and I kept writing. I’ve published four books so far, and my fifth (my fifth!!!) is out this month. 

The experience of juggling work and home life led to the creation of my first female protagonist, Ellen Kelly – a single mother, trying to balance the conflicting demands of a career and caring for her two children. She’s a strong, independent woman who knows her own mind.

Since writing my first Ellen book, published in 2013, my life has become busier than ever. I still have a ‘day job’ alongside my writing career. I have a publishing contract that requires me to write a book every six months. And, a few years ago, my younger child became seriously ill. As a result of her illness, she no longer goes to school, so I’m home schooling her. I feel constantly overwhelmed. But I keep writing because I can’t imagine not doing it. 

Finding time to write is a constant challenge. For me, being organised is key. Most mornings, I get up at 6am and write until the rest of the family emerges. After that, I spend the rest of the day trying to work while also taking care of my daughter.

I’m lucky. I have a supportive husband who makes it possible for me to write at the weekends. And I have an amazing group of friends who are always there for me – we love and support each other, because we all know life gets very tough from time to time. These women have been the inspiration for my latest protagonist, Dee Doran.

Dee is the central character in my new crime series, The Eastbourne Murder Mystery series. She’s a journalist in her early fifties. She’s divorced and she lives alone in Eastbourne, my adopted home town. Unlike Ellen, Dee doesn’t have any children. She sometimes regrets this decision but she knows it’s too late to do anything about it. 

Dee came about because I wanted to create a character who represented real ‘middle-aged’ women, not the stereotypical version I see too often in crime fiction. Dee is smart and clever and funny and brave. She’s opinionated and stubborn. She’s a loyal friend who’s always on hand to listen and offer support. She drinks too much wine and has unsuitable romances. She is menopausal and her body isn’t what it used to be. 

She is a combination of all the brilliant, clever, funny, complex women I know. They were at the forefront of my mind when I created Dee. They’re the reason I love her so much. I hope you’ll love her too! 

 

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Sheila grew up in a small town in the west of Ireland. After studying Psychology at University College Galway, she left Ireland and worked in Italy, Spain, Germany, Holland and Argentina before finally settling in Eastbourne, where she now lives with her husband, Sean, and their two children.

She is a creative writing tutor for the Writers Bureau, and she reviews crime fiction for crimesquad.com. She is also a regular guest on BBC Radio Sussex.

For more information, please visit her on social media or at her website. Details below:

Facebook

Twitter (@sheilab10)

Instagram (@sheilabsussex)

www.sheilabugler.co.uk

Sheila’s latest novel, When the Dead Speak, An Eastbourne Murder Mystery Book 2, is published on 9 July in ebook. The paperback version of the book has been delayed due to COVID-19 and will be published in September.

Secrets can be fatal. But so can the truth.

When the murdered body of Lauren Shaw is discovered laid out on the altar of St Mary the Virgin church in Eastbourne it sends a chill to the core of those who have lived in the area for a long time. They remember another woman, also young and pretty, whose slain corpse was placed in the same spot 60 years ago.

Dee Doran is as intrigued as the rest but focused on her investigation of the whereabouts of a missing person from the Polish community. The police weren’t interested but Dee’s journalistic instincts tell her something is amiss.

But as she starts asking questions Dee finds the answers all point to the same conclusion – someone is keeping secrets and they will do whatever it takes to keep them safe.

 

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