How My Life’s Mission Became Helping Others Stop Their Suicidal Thoughts, Starting with My Own

By: Gina Cavalier, co-author of Surviving Suicidal Ideation: From Therapy to Spirituality and the Lived Experience

It has only been one day that I have been able to hold in my hands the physical book that details the mountain of darkness that I swam through with abuse, neglect, suicidal tendencies, and finally, to the other side of healing. Every major milestone of love and fear in my fifty-four years is briefly described with nothing held back. Including the moments when my heart and soul fell into black holes where I would envision my physical death.

I would have done anything in this world to have been able to flip the switch to the “off” position. I used to liken it to a video game, where I just wanted to start over with a fresh start, a new avatar, and maybe pick better parents, friends, or intellect. Next time, I will ask for the things in my life that I felt were sorely missing from this one. But what happens if this can’t be reset, and my soul gets trapped here?

There were too many questions, and I had a lot of panic about the pain I would endure and mostly who would care for my rescue dogs, who looked upon me daily with joy and concern. During one terrible episode, I finally got sick of myself and the thoughts I would let in my head. I would choose to finally do it and get it over with or make a promise to do whatever it takes to heal. 

On that beautiful day, I embraced myself. I took one small step towards loving this imperfect, silly, battered, and innocent soul for the ride of its life by committing to staying here, changing that inner dialogue, and building the life I wanted to experience. I was already here; why not use this as a learning opportunity?

It couldn’t have worsened, so I was starting at a good place – the only way was up. This specific choice was vital because it was a commitment, and although I had weak spots, there were also a lot of great qualities in my makeup. When I commit to something, it would be hard-pressed for anyone to change my mind. I am incredibly loyal and witty, and although my inner child had been through it already, she wanted to fight with strength and love. She wanted to use that pure, innocent spark of light that we are all born with to transmute this condition and rebalance the mind, body, spirit, and soul. 

There, I entered the abyss of various energy healing modalities, religions, and homeopathic techniques. In this quiet space, I learned how to calm my emotions and thoughts through grounding and education around how my and other people’s energies affected my environment and mental state. I was hooked once I had the first energetic release that made me feel like I was floating outside my body with the most intense love vibrating through every cell. Can I order one more experience, please? How about two or ten? It felt that good.

I used my obsession with learning everything I could and performed hundreds of healings and readings on others at no cost, each more exhilarating than the next. There was never a day or reading like the other, and I was helping people get through their stuck life experiences. When I started to see my soul and hear its heartbeat, I knew I was now safe from myself.

How could I have ever wanted to snuff this out? It’s a miracle, magic, and I will not go quietly into this good night! I fell madly and deeply in love with myself. I started to see how everything and everyone who had come into my life had a specific purpose. The past energy and storylines became free, and forgiveness overtook my spirit. I perfected and re-tooled a series of practices that worked for me, and I had a spiritual toolkit that could be used anytime and anywhere, putting me in the driver’s seat of my life.

Even when obstacles would appear that would have typically triggered me, I would turn to that toolbox immediately, put myself first, and start to run my program. I was empowered, hopeful, and driven; for the first time in real-time, I felt I was in the flow of life. 

One night, as I sat in bed with my laptop, my spirit decided to visit me. The whole room was light-filled, and even the roof had felt like it had disappeared. This light communicated with me without words, and I could hear a transmission in my mind as the energy spoke. “You are made to share what you have learned with the world; you will become a teacher so others can learn how to heal themselves and be liberated from their pain and suffering just as you have.”

Thus, my mission became to teach the tools so others can heal themselves through The Liberated Healer platforms, programs, books, and events. Lastly, the most miraculous gift came in: my life’s purpose. Look where it had been hiding all this time, inside my pain. 

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Gina Cavalier is an author and illustrator, inspirational speaker, spiritual seeker, intuitive healer, and founder and host of The Liberated Healer Podcast™. Cavalier is a media veteran, former entertainment studio executive, and technology enthusiast. Cavalier’s speaking career started at the Warner Bros. studio lot, where she founded and co-chaired a business resource group with thousands of members and produced insightful events.

For more than fifteen years, Cavalier has embarked on a fascinating healing journey that has helped her heal her suicidal ideation. She has co-authored and illustrated a book with Dr. Amelia Kelley for the Swedenborg Foundation titled Surviving Suicidal Ideation: From Therapy to Spirituality and the Lived Experience. She also wrote the illustrated book How I Became Santa Claus and penned and produced several television and film projects. She is a founding member of the first-ever Suicidal Ideation Anonymous Group, a non-profit that provides resources to those who need assistance. For booking information, please email gina@theliberatedhearler.com and visit our website at www.theliberatedhealer.com.

Surviving Suicidal Ideation: From Therapy to Spirituality and the Lived Experience

A guide to help those who experience suicidal ideation heal and find peace.

Surviving Suicidal Ideation embarks on a profound journey through the underlying causes, stages, and powerful emotions that shape the experience of having suicidal thoughts. More importantly, it provides proven tools, exercises, and steps to curtail and heal this preventable condition. With sensitivity and clarity, Dr. Amelia Kelley and Gina Cavalier explore the interconnectedness of addiction, mental health, and trauma.

Using a unique combination of analytic and spiritual practices, mindfulness, cutting-edge brain therapy, and compassionate support, this book offers therapies and self-help techniques with corresponding exercises; hand-inked illustrations by Cavalier; a foreword by Thomas Moore, New York Times bestselling author of Care of the Soul; and an extensive list of resources.

As a public speaker, Cavalier focuses on memoir-style storytelling about living with suicidal ideation. Together, the authors present holistic approaches to suicide prevention and debunk prevalent myths. They also go beyond individual healing, emphasizing the importance of community and relationships. Ultimately, Surviving Suicidal Ideation provides a nonjudgmental guide that enables the reader to develop self-compassion and work toward a positive future filled with hope and resilience.

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Category: Contemporary Women Writers, On Writing