How To Write When You Have Small Children

When people find out I am a writer their first reaction is usually: how do you do it? The reason why, is the small children hanging from my arms. While becoming a published author is something that people generally find impressive, becoming a published author when you are also the mother of three children under the age of seven seems to blow people’s minds. 

I published my debut novel, Ember, in March. I have written eleven books in total. I have published four non-fiction books and a poetry collection. I have also written three other novels, a children’s book and a short story collection that are yet to be published. I have written all but one of those with at least one child crawling around my feet. It was hard, of course. So hard that at times I wanted to give up, or at least wait a few years, but the only thing that happens when you wait is you get older. 

Just like there is no perfect, nor good time, to have a baby there is no good time to start writing. There is only now. While it can definitely be tough fitting writing around family it is achievable. In fact, I find it essential. My writing is the only thing I have for myself. So how do you write a book while parenting? This is how I did it. 

I found pockets of time.

How old your children are will let you know when is a good time to write. I have a baby and the best time to write is when he is napping. Getting him to nap is the hard part. I wrote my first book by pushing my first child around in the pram. When he finally fell asleep I would get my phone out and then write between two and three thousand words on my phone. I did this every day until I finished the book. 

If I got ill or I missed a day then I made myself make up the missed words the next day. If you only do one thousand one day, and then have to do an extra thousand the next, it is a huge motivator. During lockdown, I homeschooled my oldest and then spent some time with my other child. After that I could give them some snacks and let them watch CBeebies guilt-free. I was pregnant at the time so was very motivated to finish the book I was writing. I ended up writing eighty thousand words in six weeks. 

It is important to know that you matter just as much as your children. If writing makes you happy and you want to make a career out of it then putting your children in front of the television for a few hours, or giving them crayons and some paper is not going to hurt them. It helps children to see their parents accomplish their dreams.  

I made it as easy as possible. 

The easier you make writing the more likely you are to do it. I would try and grab my computer from the living room when my husband was taking care of the children. They would always notice me doing this. You need a writing space you can escape to, or an iPad with a good keyboard. Writing on your phone, or longhand, would work too. If you have someone who can take your children for a few hours do not fault going to a coffee shop and banging out the words. You need to find what works for you. 

I made myself concentrate. 

When you have time to write you need to do it. No excuses. This does not mean punishing yourself and sitting in silence. It is okay to work with the music blasting or whatever. I know I do. I know a bestselling author who writes in front of the television. That is fine and if that motivates you to write more then fine. I can write my first drafts while half-watching television and it does not affect my writing. I find it gives me an office-type feeling. Find your rhythm. Work the way that suits you and your personality. 

I did not allow myself to make excuses. 

There will always be an excuse not to write. You are not feeling it or you are ill. Or that thing called writer’s block. Well, I do not believe in writer’s block. No other profession gives their laziness a label and uses that as an excuse. Give yourself a word count and then hit your word count. If you write a load of rubbish then that is fine, because you can edit it and get deeper into the draft. You cannot edit a blank page. Just start writing and see what comes. 

Read a lot. 

Reading? What? Yes, to write at all, even when you have little ones, you need to read. I find the easiest way to read is on my phone using the Kindle app. My baby likes to eat paperback novels. Read a lot in your genre. When you get stuck read a book with a similar tone to the one that you are writing. It will refill you with energy and show you how to do it. The best way to learn how to write is by reading. 

Good Luck!

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Catherine Yardley has been writing since she was in single figures. She is happiest when she is either reading or writing. She writes women’s fiction because she believes women have the right to have their stories told in all of their messy, complex glory. Ember is her first novel. She lives in London with her husband and children.

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EMBER

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Category: How To and Tips