Personal Growth Happens When You’re Not Expecting It
It was a cool November morning as I sat quietly in my wingback chair, sipping my hot tea and praying for guidance and grace. My heart was breaking as I thought of my friend Isse, a mother of three children in her early forties, and her shocking news: stage IV colon cancer diagnosis.
My eyes were closed as tears streamed down my cheeks, considering the terrifying journey ahead of her. Memories of the time when my mother shared her news of late stage colon cancer with me flashed before my eyes. And I heard a voice say “you should write her story and other stories.” I opened my eyes and looked around my living room, remembering that my daughter had already left for school.
It was as if the idea was planted in my mind from the universe, similar to how Elizabeth Gilbert describes in Big Magic, the idea that capturing and sharing cancer stories of survival and loss would be helpful to others. Through walking the path of two different cancer diagnoses with my mother, I had developed survival tools and rituals that supported both of us. I wondered what advice I might uncover from others who were living with a cancer diagnosis. The idea started to take shape as I jotted down questions I might ask in an interview.
Hearing of a loved one’s or friend’s cancer diagnosis invokes such fear that it is hard to think clearly or know what to do next. When I remembered the fear that filled my being when I heard the words from my mother, “I have cancer”, I believed capturing cancer stories of survival and loss would be supportive to others walking a similar path and potentially validating the highs and lows of a cancer journey.
I enlisted the help of my friend Robyn, who is a cancer survivor, in helping me find and interview both survivors and loved ones of those who died, gathering 20 stories from men and women, seven different types of cancer, and all stages of the disease. Each chapter includes an individual’s story of discovery and diagnosis, the treatment experience, advice for others, and surprising experiences. This purposeful structure mirrors the physical and emotional milestones that are present in a patient’s road to recovery or loss, with a goal of providing hope and enabling others to persevere, and feel joy in the midst of pain.
Through writing this book, I faced highs and lows as I took in the emotionally-charged stories, writing in such a way to reflect the individual’s persona. There were times when I would be editing while talking with one of the individuals and tears would be streaming down my face, which I quietly kept to myself.
I recognized that this creative process would be best served if I practiced self-care and took breaks in between the writing, so I would go outside and hike or take a hot bath. Once I finished the manuscript, I realized how much the writing process changed me. I now feel more compassionate towards the struggle that is inherent in a cancer diagnosis. Writing about these experiences of others helped me develop a different type of understanding than I had through experiencing my mother’s two different cancer diagnoses.
The struggle is real for sure when someone is facing a diagnosis, and deeply affects the individual, loved ones, co-workers and friends. The survivors shared how important it is to not let the cancer define the individual, that cancer is a season in their life.
During this past year, while I was finalizing the manuscript, I learned of a close friend’s cancer diagnosis. I have engaged differently with him after writing this book, choosing to implement the advice from several of the stories. The biggest change I have made is to stay connected, through mailing cards, sending texts, or leaving voicemails, even when I don’t hear back for months. I have no idea what he is facing inside and know his lack of response has nothing to do with me. If my attempts to connect lift his spirits for a moment of a day, I have done my part to show I care.
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Rebecca Whitehead Munn is an award-winning author and speaker, healthcare change catalyst, and value creator. All of Us Warriors is her second title, following her award-winning, debut memoir, The Gift of Goodbye: A Story of Agape Love released in 2017. She has been a featured Maria Shriver Architect of Change on surviving grief and shared her healing through yoga story at www.mindbodygreen.com.
She is a certified End of Life Doula, certified in Positive Psychology, and a Nashville Healthcare Council Fellow. She is happiest spending time outdoors, spending time with her two children, eating Mexican food, practicing yoga, listening to live music, and using her chaotic Aries energy for good. She was born in Bloomington, IN, grew up in Houston, TX, and has lived in Nashville, TN, since 2005. To learn more, visit her at https://rebeccawmunnauthor.
ALL OF US WARRIORS: CANCER STORIES OF SURVIVAL AND LOSS, Rebecca Whitehead Munn
In All of Us Warriors, Rebecca Whitehead Munn paints a realistic picture of the impact cancer has on an individual’s life, and she attempts to demystify the experience by sharing heartfelt stories from twenty survivors and the loved ones of those that passed.
They are mothers and fathers with seven types of cancers and all stages of the disease, as well as advice regarding how to approach someone you love living with cancer and tips and tricks for helping others feel joy in the midst of pain.
This inspirational book provides a positive outlook of strength and perseverance through belief in a higher power, reinforcing the idea that the reader is stronger than cancer and not alone, and offering real strategies that cannot be found in online medical sites.
Like a conversation with a new best friend (or twenty of them), All of Us Warriors is full of understanding, acceptance, and practical advice gained from personal experience.
“An inspirational, raw, and much-needed glimpse into how cancer changes life forever. It is both heartbreaking and inspiring to see how people face hearing the words, ‘You have cancer.’ This is a must-read for anyone who has been impacted by cancer.”
―Aaron Grunke, founder of Survivor Fitness Foundation
“This book serves a tremendous resource for cancer patients and their families.”
―Ricardo J. Komotar, MD, FAANS, FACS, Program Director, Department of Neurological Surgery, University of Miami School of Medicine
BUY THE BOOK HERE
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