Professional Envy
We’ve all experienced professional envy at least once in our lives. When a colleague gets a pay rise and you don’t; when you’re skipped over for a promotion; when one person on your team always seems to hit their targets. But why do we never talk about professional envy between authors?
While I’m sure we’d all like to pretend that we’re always the best versions of ourselves, authors are human too, and we are subject to professional envy just like anyone else. But there’s a strange dynamic between authors that I haven’t come across in my day job, and I believe it’s because we’re simultaneously colleagues (or even friends) and rivals.
We all want a fantastic agent, a brilliant book deal, and to be the darling of the publishing world at any given time. But we can’t all have everything at the same time. So while I’m cheering my fellow authors on when they share their amazing news, there’s still a tiny, selfish part of me that asks, but why not me?
Being an author comes with a variety of stressors. It isn’t often financially viable to not have another job alongside being an author. It can be emotionally and mentally exhausting, forcing you to prioritise rigidly. And, of course, there’s the imposter syndrome. That feeling that you’re not good enough and you never will be. That your book will never do as well as that book, the one you saw advertised on a bus stop last week. That you’re chasing an unattainable dream.
Author Charlotte Duckworth recently wrote about this on her blog, discussing how there will always be a book that’s ‘bigger’ than yours, and it struck a chord with me. Because it’s difficult not to be jealous of the book that hits the bestseller lists, shoots up to number one in its genre on release day, and is suddenly sitting on every shelf in every supermarket and bookshop. But that is the nature of the beast.
Publishing is a fast-moving business; every week a new ‘golden child’ author will arrive, their excited faces beaming at you through your television or phone screen while you sit huddled in your pyjamas, hair scraped back into a bun, with yesterday’s chocolate smeared on your chin. Your Amazon reviews are still sitting at 77, and that 1 star review is sitting at the top of them.
Your characters aren’t playing ball, your plot has more holes than the colander you haven’t bothered washing between your varied meals of pasta, and your partner/child/sibling/parent has decided you need to do something for them right now because it’s not like you have a real job, is it?
I’ve explained this type of professional envy to others like this: if your book is number one, then mine isn’t. We all laugh and cheer when a smaller author knocks a giant like J.K. Rowling or Margaret Atwood off the top spot, and sure, they can afford to drop down a few places. But when that giant refuses to budge, leaving the smaller author at number two, and we jeer and shake our fists, we’re experiencing a form of professional envy.
We’re creating division between those authors who have been in the top bestseller lists, and those authors who have not. We’re letting our jealousy of those who seem to ‘have it all’ cloud our vision, rather than simply being happy for them.
We should try to focus on our own successes too. Because there have, undoubtedly, been successes in your professional life. We should focus on those positives, and remember how far we’ve come. We should cheer on those authors who continue to rise, even while our own books are tumbling down the ranks. Because if that other author can reach number one spot for even just one minute, then so can I, right?
There’s still time for me to find a fantastic agent, get that brilliant book deal, and have my fifteen minutes of glory. I can still get my books into shops, see it plastered all over the Tube, and bask in the social media attention. There’s still time, for all of us, to achieve our goals. And when it happens for you, I’m going to cheer you on.
Vikki Patis is the author of bestselling psychological thrillers The Girl Across the Street and The Diary, published by Bookouture. When she isn’t writing, she can usually be found with her head in a book, baking gluten free cakes, or walking in the Hertfordshire countryside.
Amazon: https://www.amazon.co.
Website: www.vikkipatiswrites.
Twitter: @PatisVikki
You’re hiding a secret that only she can see.Her name is Beth. She came into my life when I needed her the most. We lead very different lives, but she’s the only person who understands me.
She was the only other witness to the terrible accident on the street between our homes. The only person who saw the cracks in my perfect life before I had the chance to cover them up.
It’s been so long since I’ve had a friend. Someone to talk to, to listen to, to laugh and dream with.
Beth would never do anything to hurt me.
She only wants what’s best for me, for my marriage.
Doesn’t she?
An unputdownable psychological suspense thriller that will grip you until the very last page. Perfect for fans of Gone Girl, The Girl on the Train and The Couple Next Door.
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Category: Contemporary Women Writers, How To and Tips
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Thank you for an interesting article, Vikki. For me,the most important aspect you mention is the need, at moments of doubt (and there are plenty of those), to remember how far I’ve actually come. How true!
Good point. We all feel it, so we might as well admit it. And yet we all genuinely cheer each other on.
Even my friend Earl Hamner, Jr., creator of The Waltons and author of nine books, did not consider himself one of the greats. He was the most humble writer I’ve ever met.