Romance Books Made Me A Feminist By Aurora Ascher

Romance Books Made Me A Feminist

By Aurora Ascher

This is the story of how I discovered my feminism through reading romance novels, and how that discovery ultimately led me to make writing them my career. 

I still remember when I read my first romance. The year I moved to Montreal, I got a job at a raw juice store in an industrial part of the city. Since the business was mostly based on deliveries rather than in-store purchases, I had a lot of spare time. Too much. My duties for the day took all of fifteen minutes, and the rest of the time I was only needed for the rare instances that someone wandered into the shop. As a result, I quickly slipped into mind-numbing boredom… Until I had the bright idea to read a book.

I was a voracious reader as a child, but with the various demands of life, I had forgotten that passion. I hadn’t read a book from cover to cover in almost a decade, because I hadn’t found anything that grabbed my attention. I’d spent a lot of the last years traveling and focusing on music—my first creative love—and it didn’t feel like I needed another hobby. I concluded that I just didn’t care for reading anymore, and that I’d left that particular pastime behind with my childhood.

In reality, I just hadn’t been reading the right books.

The real reason I had abandoned my reading pursuits became clear the day I stumbled upon my first romance novel as I sat behind the till at that juice bar. It was a paranormal romance—vampires, of course. My eyes were as big as saucers as I read the first spicy scene, and I remember thinking, “I didn’t know books could be like this!” From that day, an obsession was born.

As I sped through multitudinous series, I was amazed time and time again at how relatable the stories were, even those with fantastical settings and supernatural characters. The authors seemed to understand me and what I found exciting and sensual. The female protagonists had struggles I related to—fears, hopes, and desires I understood. The male protagonists were actually enticing to me, and the love stories were compelling.

I quickly found a new appreciation for my day job. Now, I resented when customers came in, because it meant I had to put my book down. (Though I was sure to paste on a smile and be polite, despite my voracious need to read.) I read on the train to and from work. I read when I got home at night, until it was time to go to bed. At which point, I stayed up too late reading some more. I hadn’t known it was even possible to be so obsessed with something.

Throughout this period of single-minded fixation, I thought deeply about why these books affected me the way they did. I had read plenty of fantasy and adventure in the past, even the occasional love story, but none had piqued my interest the way these had. They were exciting, they were binge-able, they were sexy…but it was more than that.

Then it came to me. These books were written by women, for women. All the subtle descriptions, references, humor, and scenarios were written from the female perspective. They told women’s stories—women’s desire, women’s fantasies, women’s pleasure. The simplicity of this realization shocked me as I considered the implications.

It was no wonder I hadn’t been interested in many books or movies in the past, because the entire media world is presented for the male gaze. We’re taught to regard things with a female focus to be silly, contrite, and embarrassing. If you like rom-com movies, you are subject to eye rolls and groaning. If your favorite color is pink or you played with Barbies as a child, you’ll be lumped in with “other girls” as if being “like a girl” is somehow a terrible fate to befall a…girl.

As for me, I’d been unable to enjoy most supposedly female-centered movies not because of some internal bias, but because those films are primarily written by men who don’t understand or care what it is to be a woman. It’s due to that unbalanced perspective that Hollywood is full of such blatant misogyny. Though I had stopped watching films with crude jokes at the expense of women long ago, I didn’t fully realize the magnitude of the imbalance until I found romance. 

Reading romance became more than just an escape for me; it became a rebellion. It became a place to gather with other like-minded, empowered women. It became a way to support women-owned businesses and women entrepreneurs. It became a place to explore the female perspective and expand my horizons without fear of judgment. It became a place to support others, and to feel supported. 

Did you know that romance novels are a 1.4 billion-dollar-a-year industry? Did you know the next best-selling genre, mystery, earns only 700 million? So why is it that most bookstores have a pitiful romance section in a dark and lonely corner in the back? Why is it that romance novels are considered “trashy” and women are often shamed for reading them? 

Based on those statistics, it seems to me that the patriarchy—and the need to disregard and ridicule women’s pleasure—is an even stronger force than capitalism itself. Which says a lot.

Let’s bust the myth that romance novels are trash. To write romance, not only do you need an interesting plot like any other novel, you need to have a deep understanding of human nature and dynamics. In another genre, you might be able to get away with writing a series of thrilling, suspenseful events being experienced by a fairly two-dimensional, static character, but in romance, character development is everything. It’s imperative to explore their deepest motivations, fears, and desires—otherwise the romance itself won’t feel believable.

Time passed, and I quit my juice-bar job, though it will forever hold a place in my heart for helping me discover my passion—while earning me a measly wage. Eventually, I started writing to experience the stories I loved from a new perspective. For me, writing is cathartic in a different way than reading. I find great fulfillment in world-building, and I love creating impossible situations and watching my characters claw their way out to achieve their happily-ever-afters. 

The deeper I get into the romance world, the more I realize the revolutionary nature of the genre. Romance is inherently feminist, not because it’s trying to be overtly loud and defiant, but simply because it exists. Women write these books for other women to read. Of course, men are welcome if they want to be part of the community, and we embrace them. But we don’t exist for them, and many men find that threatening.

But guess what? We don’t care! We’re too busy reading our spicy books to care. And damn, that’s liberating.

The income earned from book sales goes to women, the industry is primarily run by women—from publishers, agents, and editors, to cover designers, publicists, and of course, authors and readers themselves. In addition, we try to be inclusive of minorities, understanding the need to make space for LGBTQ+ and POC voices after having our own voices repressed in so many other avenues.

I’ve never worked in a more supportive environment, and I feel understood and part of a thriving community. I’m grateful to be able to share my books with other women who are coming into their power, because that’s what romance is about: reading what you want, for you, and no one else. 

So here’s to you. F*ck the patriarchy. See you on top. I’ll be there, reaching out a hand to pull you up beside me.

—

Aurora Ascher is a paranormal & fantasy romance author Aurora Ascher loves misunderstood mythical monsters, redeemable anti-heroes, and epic happily-ever-afters. A woman of many creative pursuits, Aurora is also a professional musician and visual artist. She currently resides in Montreal with her trusty espresso machine and her endlessly patient husband, whom she sometimes doesn’t see for hours until she emerges from her writing cave like a bear in springtime. To learn more, visit her website at www.auroraascher.com

SANCTUARY OF THE SHADOW

“Ascher’s latest is a fantasy romance that has everything nice—a hot love interest, a relatable main character, female friendship—and plenty of (consensual) spice.” ―Booklist

Some follow their destiny.
Others fall for it.

For humans, Salizar’s is a place of mystery and wonder. For Harrow, it’s a place to hide from those who slaughtered her entire clan. A haven where she can disguise both her abilities and who she really is.

Until he arrives.

He has no recollection of who—or even what—he is. He only knows that he’s a monster, with wings and powerful abilities never seen before. But beneath the layers of rage and isolation, one glimpse into those inky black eyes reveals a soul that calls out to the loneliness in Harrow.

And so she chooses him.

She is drawn to the mystery of him, her unquenchable need for his kiss. And as powerful enemies align and conspire against them, Harrow knows their only hope is escape.

Now, with every secret she unlocks from his past, a shadow from her own whispers free—luring enemies who will stop at nothing to get their final revenge on Harrow. And she’s given them the perfect weapon…because her winged beast is not what he seems.

But maybe it’s time they finally learn—neither is she.

BUY HERE

Tags: featured, women writers

Category: On Writing