The Afterlife is Real: What I discovered while writing Dear Bobby: My Grief Journey and The Married Widow: My Journey with Bob Zappa

By Diane Papalia Zappa

My husband Bob Zappa and I rarely spoke about an afterlife. He believed life on earth was the end, so there really wasn’t much to talk about. As for me, I  wasn’t sure. I was open to the possibility, but wasn’t counting on it. 

Shortly after Bob passed away late in 

2018, strange things started happening in our apartment. I’d hear unfamiliar sounds like knocks and clicks, get a whiff of a familiar smell, find that objects would be moved around or disappear entirely and that lights and TVs would turn on and off. These events didn’t scare me. In fact I enjoyed them. I figured Bob was up to something and I had to find out more. So in writing my memoirs I took a deep dive into the topics of the afterlife and supernatural phenomena.

At the suggestion of a friend, I contacted Drew Cali, a reputable psychic medium. We had two 45 minute readings using Zoom. Drew knew nothing about me and told me to keep my comments brief, adding no unnecessary information. He first channeled my parents and assured me they were together. Then he asked me if the name Bob meant anything to me. I said yes, not telling him that Bob was my late husband’s name. Bob had many emotional messages for me. He wanted me to know

 I was his rock and that nothing had been left unsaid between us. And he reassured me that what had happened the night he passed away was what was supposed to happen. It was simply his time. I was relieved to hear this because I had always wondered if I could have done more to save him! Toward the end of the reading Drew asked if the name Frank meant anything. When I said yes, Drew told me Bob was playing music with Frank (his late brother, musician Frank Zappa). Finally Bob said that he would be the one who would come for me and bring me “home” when it was my time and that we would finally be together.

I also had a 45 minute phone reading by the renowned psychic medium Matt Fraser. Like Drew, Matt knew nothing about me. He echoed many of the things Drew had told me, describing the unbreakable bond between Bob and me. And since we were several months into the pandemic lockdown, he said that Bob was concerned I was alone so much of the time. That convinced me that Bob was watching over me and was aware of my situation. Matt also told me Bob was holding my new book. This was several months before I signed the contract for my first memoir, The Married Widow. Bob apparently knew about it months before the contract was even signed! 

In writing Dear Bobby I became interested in what resources were available for those who are grieving. A quick Google search revealed there are many books, films, and support groups (both in and outside of Facebook). Since I was especially interested in the afterlife and supernatural events, I read widely on these topics because I wanted to learn more about all the seemingly supernatural events I was experiencing.

One book I found eye opening was Lyn Ragan’s Signs from the Afterlife: Identifying Gifts from the Other Side. Psychic medium Matt Fraser has also written several books including We Never Die: Secrets of the Afterlife. Both of these books are go places to start an exploration of these topics.

There are many films that have afterlife themes. After Life is a 3-season Netflix series starring Ricky Gervais. It’s a Wonderful Life and Carousel are 2 classics. And my personal favorite is Ghost, for which Whoopi Goldberg won an Academy Award for her role as a reluctant psychic medium.

Facebook has a number of groups for widows including Modern Widows Club and Widow and Widowers Grief Support Group. The members of these group truly understand the shared experience of widowhood.

For those interested in the afterlife there are many relevant Facebook groups. Project Consciousness and Proof of Life After Death are two fascinating ones.

So what have I learned since Bob passed away? I’ve learned the afterlife is real,  people are spirits encased in human bodies, and that the spirit goes on after the body dies. I’ve learned the veil between dimensions is thin, and that spirits watch over us and communicate with us in many different ways. And I have come to believe that one day we will be reunited with our loved ones for all eternity. 

—

DEAR BOBBY: MY GRIEF JOUIRNEY, Diane Papalia Zappa

In Dear Bobby, Diane Papalia Zappa describes the loss of her beloved husband after three short years of marriage. She talks about her own grieving process and outlines ways that can help others cope. The centerpiece of this book is a collection of several “Dear Bobby” letters that helped Diane process her grief and reestablish her relationship with her husband. She offers several writing prompts to encourage readers to begin their own writing journey. Diane also includes a helpful selection of resources—books about death, grief, and the afterlife; films with afterlife themes; and support groups for those who are grieving.

BUY HERE

About the author 

Diane Papalia Zappa grew up in Fort Lee, NJ. She earned a bachelor’s degree in psychology from Vassar College in 1968, and earned a MS in Child Development and Family Relations and a PhD in Life-Span Developmental Psychology from West Virginia University in 1970 and 1971 respectively. She went on to join the faculty of the University of Wisconsin-Madison, attaining the rank of Full Professor at age 30. Along with co-author Sally Wendkos Olds, she wrote several college textbooks including A Child’s World and Human Development. In 1986 she met Bob Zappa who was marketing manager for one of her texts. They married in 2015 and he passed away in 2018 at age 75. Her 2 memoirs describe how their relationship evolved through the years.

 

Tags: featured, women writers

Category: Contemporary Women Writers, On Writing