What My Facebook Post Taught Me About Writing
Nothing is Simple
I’m not one to shy away from criticism. In college, creative writing professors not only taught me how to adapt to it but how to charge towards it, arms outstretched shouting, “here I am, make me stronger”. I hadn’t anticipated the impact that would have with one simple post on a writer’s group on Facebook.
I posted this, ‘Ladies, I’m working on a scene and I would like some feedback. Honest reactions if a guy proposed to you this way. (I’m not going to give you context because I don’t want to sway your answers). “I think you are beautiful and smart and practical like me. I’ve never met a more suitable wife in my life and I can’t think of a more fitting husband for you. Let’s not prolong this further. We both know what we want. Marry me.’
I expected to get a few “I wouldn’t marry him” and a few “oh, he’s awkward but cute”. 158 comments later and I discovered so much more about human nature than I expected. Not only did many people reject my suitor, but they posted an assortment of outrage at his behavior. Angry, ranting tirades flashed across my computer screen like tiny word explosions.
It made me realize how powerful a few carefully strung together words can be. Another thing I noticed was the wonderful defense and support I received from some of the group. They felt protective of me, a complete stranger, afraid that I may be harmed by other’s comments.
This was surprising and very touching for me to know that I have a community of honest, heartfelt people who knows what it feels like to put their selves out there in a world that is not always kind to emerging writers.
Though I was not insulted by anyone’s comments (some even bringing me great joy) I appreciated the gesture. The most fascinating thing I learned through all these comments is the impact of perception. Leaving my guidelines to a minimum I assumed that people would respond specifically to my intended question without any lens that I might create for them by revealing more of my idea.
What I failed to consider is that every human comes with their own pre-determined perceptions making their responses unique to them.
Some people analyzed the writing techniques, some tried to figure out the time period, some remarked on what they believe were some traits of the character. The flow of ideas that I had not even considered past like rivers through the post and I saw things in so many new ways.
This post that I thought could be a simple, quick response became a lesson of great proportion. Regardless of my intention, every reader will bring their own thoughts, feelings, experiences to my stories and give them lives I didn’t know were possible. I guess it just proves the point that nothing is ever as simple as it seems.
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Katie Marshall is a Maine author. She earned a BFA in creative writing/English at the University of Maine at Farmington and has three self-published books with Amazon. Her latest novel, The Blackbird’s Song, is a psychological thriller published through Black Opal Books. Katie prefers to experiment with genres rather than be confined to one box. When she’s not writing, she enjoys reading everything she can find and spending time with nature.
Find out more about her on her website katiemmarshall-author
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/poetica27/
Twitter https://twitter.com/poetica261
Category: Contemporary Women Writers, How To and Tips
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Hi Katie, it sounds like you managed to create what used to happen in face to face meetings. Round table discussions where everyone added their opinion and could build on what someone else said. This really takes the cold distance from Social Media, don’t you think? Good job
Hi, Katie, thanks for sharing the results of your accidental experiment, which seems to verify the claim that the majority of communication is non-verbal. And now I’m looking forward to the release of your story with a proposal scene in it:-).
Very best wishes for success in all of your creative endeavors.
This was a great article, Katie. Thank you for sharing. I’m curious now to hear how the book fared, especially that section.
Great article, Katie. Your experiment says a lot about social media and the way communication has changed because of it. It has the power to inspire and empassion people to communicate their reactions and feelings to relative strangers, and not wait for responses or requests for clarification. Fascinating! As for your fairly unemotional proposal, you probably have more than enough options to consider for your book. Thanks for the interesting article, fellow woman writer!
Great point. I think people are prone to jump to their own conclusions when reading things. Voice inflection really helps to pin down intent. I use lots of emojis in text so people will know I am being funny, serious or sad. I had a similar situation with headshots for my author profile. Most people were kind, but someone was very rude. Another FB person jumped in to defend me. It was almost humorous. Best wishes for all your writing adventures.