Writing Laid Bare: What The Business Leader Learnt From the Stripper

Trusting the signs

When a third friend in a row mentioned in spring 2019 that I should write a book or that I’ll be a writer, I actually gave it a thought. I’d always enjoyed writing but haven’t ever been involved in a major writing project past postgraduate course. I knew my creativity was going to find an outlet, sooner or later, after years of scaling a business with my logical mind taking the foreground. I was ready to come back to my roots as a deeply creative person, beyond the hustler/business person identity I’d created because it was useful to get a few things done. But writing? It wouldn’t have been my first choice as an ex burlesque diva, singer and performer. 

And then, because signs kept coming up, after lunch with a friend who told me point blanc that I should write about feminism and business, I opened my laptop and gave it a go, as if it were a game. Sections and chapters kept pouring out, during breaks from work, anytime I could afford to take time away to do some writing, and two months later I had forty thousand words. 

The right balance between enthusiasm and pragmatism 

I was super chuffed. I more or less had a book finished. Except I wasn’t sure if anyone would want to read it. I shared what I had with a couple of friends and some positive and neutral comments came back, mostly to do with passion behind my writing, but also some confusion to do with what my message was. Truthfully, I’ve written about all sorts of things, from my reflections on how workplaces are evolving, based on my company’s journey with culture of transparency, to very personal stories to do with relationships, my recent interests in tantra, shamanism and conscious sexuality. It soon became clear I needed to get really specific on what I actually wanted and felt competent to put out into the world, and who might care about it. 

This meant I needed to decide what topic I actually wanted to focus on and get rid of content that didn’t fit in. After a little soul searching with a friend, I knew my topic was the feminine aspect – or principle of leadership – rising in forward thinking organisations and any new content I produced needed to be, even if loosely, related to it. I started to have a much stronger sense of purpose and wanting to serve others with my writing as opposed to just express myself.

Patience

Suddenly, I started thinking more carefully about what I would write and how it was to form a part of a bigger whole. I became aware of other books on related subjects and why they resonated with their audiences. My task was to find my unique take on things knowing there is no such thing as saying something which has never been said before. I also got rid of about a third of content I “vomited out” in my enthusiastic phase and started editing what I’d written before. This felt nowhere near as good as starting out and just producing fresh content every day. 

Surrender to the process

Somebody said, “be careful what you choose to write about”. My subject matter, leadership from the feminine principle, truly took me for a ride in terms of facing and challenging my old thinking patterns. I hustled a lot in my business career to date and it was the masculine, driven and action oriented part of me that was responsible for much of my past success. The time came to really take a perspective on whether this was the only way for me to birth something meaningful into the world. Perhaps I was too afraid to try a different approach, to loosen my grip of control on the process?

A lot of fear certainly showed up and it gave me a deeper insight into why we’re stuck in old paradigms as a civilisation. It’s so difficult to trust life, to allow things to unfold following the energy that’s already present somewhere (particularly if it’s uncomfortable) instead of trying to force something else. This took me to a new layer in how I relate to my subject. Creativity emerged again but this time seemingly from a deeper place of wanting to share something definitely worth sharing.

Asking for help is human and powerful

During the writing process, when doubts kicked in, I reached out to friends for sanity checks and reassurance multiple times. At one stage I invited quite a few people to the google doc with the bulk of the writing to get comments and contributions. I’m really grateful to those that actually had a look and commented on things they felt strongly about, given all the other things they could have been doing with their time. I feel humble to be surrounded by friends who genuinely care about what I create. 

In moments of particularly strong doubt about the whole project, I reached out to the friend who inspired me to start writing to begin with and remains a fan of more or less everything I write. It’s priceless to have people in my life that truly believe in what I do. Realising who they are has quite possibly been the biggest gift I received through this process so far. Also, quite a few people have stepped up to help me improve on my book proposal and to connect with agents and publishers. I’m humbled and incredibly grateful to rediscover the power of my support community. Together, we are so much stronger.

I wish all those in the middle of creative efforts of all sorts that the process of birthing something new transforms you from the inside out. I wish us all to receive unexpected gifts from it, like I’ve already experienced. And to never lose sight it’s a privilege and a damn awesome thing just to be able to bring something new – a book, a song, a project, a human being – to life. 

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Paulina is a founder, a thought leader, a tech startup angel investor, a TEDx speaker and conference presenter. GrantTree, a fundraising consultancy she started in 2010, now 40 people strong, operates in a unique way, in full financial transparency, with self-set salaries and using holacracy (a transparent, flat structure) as its governance and operational system. Because of this and as public interest in alternative corporate structures is growing, Paulina has been featured in the press and TV interviews numerous times over the last few years. As a thought leader, she is committed to radical authenticity and bringing a new paradigm of organisational consciousness into the wider world.

Paulina is also a bold, charismatic character with experience in performing arts and burlesque. She doesn’t shy away from controversial subjects and emotional rawness in order to deeply and meaningfully connect with her audience.

WHAT THE BUSINESS LEADER LEARNT FROM THE STRIPPER

Paulina Tenner presents a unique perspective on emergent social change in the world of work, and a method to achieve a balance of wholeness and profitability in a commercial organisation. As the #metoo movement has swept over the globe, it’s time to begin a discussion of how feminine and masculine principles can be integrated together safely, in organisations of all kinds, and in commercial organisations in particular. This books begins that conversation.

Provocative, bold, paradigm-setting, just like the author. This book challenges the status quo of how companies are set up and scaled and proposes a radical alternative. I would recommend that anyone who is serious about wanting to make a change in their business reads this with an open mind …and a notebook! — Sháá Wasmund, MBE, author of bestselling Stop Talking, Start Doing and Do Less, Get More

Provocative, bold, paradigm-setting, just like the author.This book challenges the status quo of how companies are set up and scaled and proposes a radical alternative. I would recommend that anyone who is serious about wanting to make a change in their business reads this with an open mind…and a notebook! — Sháá Wasmund, MBE, author of bestselling Stop Talking, Start Doing and Do Less, Get More

Laid Bare moves the modern leadership and sustainable conversation forwards, in a way few would expect, and none will forget. Kicks the Patriarchy in the balls. — Sam Conniff Allende, author of Be More Pirate

Fantastic fun – a refreshing take on an eternal problem! — Bruce Daisley, author of The Joy of Work: 30 Ways to Fix Your Work Culture and Fall in Love with Your Job Again

At MakeLoveNotPorn we’re socializing sex, with one of many intended socially beneficial outcomes being normalizing sex work to be as accepted a career choice as doctor, lawyer, accountant. So I’m delighted that Paulina Tenner has translated her experience as a stripper into a very different kind of business book. This refreshingly honest guide is for every entrepreneur and business person who welcomes a completely fresh perspective on building a company, and is full of innovative ideas, including the concept of self-set pay, that many businesses can benefit from. — Cindy Gallop, Founder & CEO, MakeLoveNotPorn

Paulina is at the forefront of the new world of work. Laid Bare is the book all entrepreneurs need to read now. — Paul Armstrong, Forbes contributor

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Category: Contemporary Women Writers, How To and Tips