Writing to Heal By K.T. Carlisle, author of Reasonable

Writing to Heal

By K.T. Carlisle, author of Reasonable

Sometimes life throws you a curve ball—like realizing you never set your alarm clock after you’re already an hour late for your appointment. Other times, it pulls the rug completely out from under you, leaving you scrambling for reason where none exists. This is how I felt when I lost my father. 

It’s hard for me to believe that someone as exuberant and full of light as my dad was could be extinguished from the earth so early on in his life. Fifty-six doesn’t seem that old—especially not for someone as active in body and mind as he had been. But that type of logic doesn’t really apply to things like ruptured heart valves. At least, it didn’t in his case. 

Most people would agree that losing a parent leaves an indelible mark that changes you forever, whether you had a good relationship or bad. It certainly did for me. My father and I were extremely close, and while he wasn’t perfect, he was always incredibly kind and supportive of me—especially when it came to writing. In fact, if it hadn’t been for his constant encouragement, I doubt whether I’d ever have the courage or confidence to pursue the thing that I have always loved to do. 

“Do what you love,” he would say, “and the money will follow.” He spoke from experience, of course. A gifted artist renowned in his field, he led by example and had more than earned the right to lecture me on the pitfalls of abandoning my creative pursuits. I’ve heard from other creatives that to have support like this—especially from a parent—is something truly special. Maybe that’s why losing it so suddenly crushed every ounce of creative energy I had. 

Since the time I read my first book at two years old, I have been obsessed with the written word. While other kids played outside with their friends, I was busy hand-sewing the binding on the picture books I’d write and illustrate using a novel-making kit I received as a birthday gift. Writing and reading are so much a part of who I am that it’s hard to imagine my life without either. But for five years following my father’s death, I couldn’t bring myself to write or read anything that wasn’t strictly work-related. 

It’s like riding a bike, I would tell myself. You can just pick it back up tomorrow. 

But tomorrow came and went many times over without a single word written or page read. It’s not true what they say about loss. The whole “time heals all wounds” adage is just a fairytale that people offer when they don’t know what else to say. Every day without my dad only deepens the chasm in my chest, stretches out the void that exists between us since the last time I was able to talk to him. How could time possibly heal when it is the very thing responsible for wounding me? 

That’s what I used to think, anyway. Then I turned thirty, and time started to feel different. Maybe it wasn’t a healer, but it could be a great motivator. Like I said, fifty-six doesn’t seem that old, especially not when it’s less than half the time away from where you are in life. Though it had been years since I heard him speak, suddenly I couldn’t get my dad’s voice out of my head. 

Do what you love. 

I started to talk about how I was feeling with my husband, how much I missed writing, how little time there seemed to be to devote to it, how much it still hurt to do it knowing my dad could never be a part of it again. And just like my dad, he showed me nothing but support and encouragement. 

“You just need to do it,” he told me. “Just sit down, and do it.” 

So, I did. 

As soon as I gave myself permission to get back to doing what I loved, it was like opening up Pandora’s box. I felt this rush of inspiration and determination like I had never felt before, and everything that I had bottled up for the past five years just poured out of me. There were plenty of times in the past when I attempted to write a novel but gave up after the first 10,000 words. I approached this new project thinking it would end up the same way: abandoned in a month’s time, never to see the light of day. But 100 days and 130,000 words later, I had not only the first draft of Reasonable, but the first completed draft of a manuscript ever. 

When people ask me, “What inspired you to write this book?” I might tell them that the inspiration came to me after watching a Dateline documentary on the University of Idaho killings, or how the serial killer in my story was loosely based on Jeffrey Dahmer. And these things are true: I have always been drawn to the darker things in life, especially anything having to do with murder and the psychology of killers. But at the end of the day, the real inspiration came from my dad. From knowing him, from watching him lead by example, from loving him, from losing him. But more than anything, from wanting to make him proud and do the thing I love. 

—

K.T. Carlisle is the pseudonym for a Vermont-based murder mystery writer. As far back as she can remember, Carlisle has dedicated her life to the written word. Earning her B.A. in Writing Arts with a concentration in Creative Writing in 2015 from Rowan University, Carlisle received the Excellence in Writing Arts Award. Out of more than 3,500 students, Carlisle was selected for the award based on her exceptional skill as a writer and teacher of writing.

After graduating from Rowan University, Carlisle briefly served as an intern for a literary agency in Manhattan where she was responsible for reviewing incoming submissions and passing them on to suitable agents. Later called westward to Salt Lake City, Carlisle was hired as a copywriter and editor, crafting various ghostwritten articles on behalf of prominent executives within Silicon Valley’s tech industry. Her work has appeared in publications such as Forbes, VentureBeat, Entrepreneur, Inc.com, and USA Today, to name a few.

In late 2018, Carlisle started her own marketing agency, specializing in copywriting, website development, and social media management. Since starting the niche agency, she has had the privilege of developing unique voices for small business owners all over the country, publishing thousands of webpages and blog articles each year.

When she is not busy crafting custom content for clients, Carlisle devotes all of her creative energy towards writing her next novel, as well as spending her days enjoying all the natural beauty that the Green Mountain State has to offer alongside her incredible husband, four crazy dogs, and flock of chickens.

REASONABLE (WHAT HAPPENED TO MIA DAVIS?)

“Complex and satisfying, the narrative features plenty of crisp detective spadework, unanswered questions, interpersonal melodrama, more dead bodies, and enough surprises to keep even seasoned mystery fans on their toes … A serpentine, suspenseful mystery that will keep readers guessing right to the final pages.” — KIRKUS REVIEWS

“Unreliable narrators, spectral terrors, gut-wrenching betrayals, and unearthed secrets make for an undeniably strong opening salvo of this new series.” — SELF-PUBLISHING REVIEW

“A beautiful novel from an up and coming talented author.” — NICKY SHEARSBY, Author of BEYOND THE VEIL

When the Williamsburg Police Department arrives at Catheryn “Cat” Clark’s house on the night of Friday, May 13 only to discover her drunk and covered in blood, even she struggles to believe in her own innocence. After all, few people had better reason to want Elaine Reid dead than the woman whose husband she stole after thirty years of friendship.

But as the alcohol-induced fog begins to fade, strange questions surrounding the night’s events start to emerge: Who else was at the house the night that Elaine was murdered? Why can’t Cat remember anything more than the argument that transpired in the darkened confines of her kitchen? And what might a neighbor’s suicide from her college years have to do with proving Cat’s innocence? As Cat fights to piece together the puzzle of what happened, Detective Rachel McGowen’s fifteen-year hunt for an elusive killer could hold all the answers.

Reasonable is the first in a three-part series that explores just how far one might go to clear their name and protect their loved ones. A fast-paced thrill ride packed with suspense, this enthralling tale of two women’s determination will keep you guessing until the very end.

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Tags: featured, women writers

Category: On Writing