So You Want to Write a Memoir? By Carol Teal – Writer, Teacher, Book Coach

We’ve all had experiences in our lives that we may want to document. Other people might find resonance in your journey, relief that they were not the only ones to suffer, perhaps sidestep some of life’s calamities, or celebrate some of the joys through reading your story.
A successful memoir takes your personal history and relates it to a universal theme that readers can identify with or that resonates with them.

Some common questions about writing memoir:
Where do I start?  Consider starting your memoir at a key moment or time period that was transitional for you. You can find this by writing three words about every decade of your life, (e.g. 20’s “exploratory, naive, awakening” or whatever they were for you – repeat for each decade). How did you change during this time period? Or you might discover a theme that seems to echo through part of your life. The key is to think of a memoir not as your whole life story but a slice of your life that was transformative for you.

How do I structure it? Memoirs can be chronological for a particular slice of time, or they might be organized around themes or key life events that illustrate the author’s transformation.

What do I include or leave out? Once you’ve discovered your theme or the transformative point of your story you can use that to guide what contributes to or connects to the theme and leave out what doesn’t relate. Again, the key is what was important in changing you.
I love this exercise by Rachel Herron, in Fast-Draft Your Memoir:  Fill in these blanks “I started out _______. I ended up ________.”
With that in mind, include the stories that influenced and illustrated your transformation. Focus on the specifics of your journey that connect to your point.

Often, memoir writers believe they’ve had an interesting or unusual life, traveled, lived in different countries, worked on behalf of others, learned valuable lessons, or suffered and survived. All those things may make interesting stories, but may miss two important aspects of writing memoir: the why and the point.

The first is the “why”.  Why do you feel compelled to share your journey? Why are you the only or best person to tell this particular story? Before you even start writing your memoir, sit down and write out why it’s important to you to do this. Knowing your “why” can help when you get lost in the weeds in the middle of your book. The little demon voices in your head can easily an upper hand. They may sound something like: “Who do you think you are? Why would anyone want to read your story? You should stop this nonsense and go back to playing pickleball.” Pull out your, “Why I’m writing this story” document and read it again. It can clarify your goals and encourage you to keep writing.

The second important aspect is having a point. We may think our stories are interesting, but what is the overall point or theme of your book? What do you want the reader to take away from reading your book? The hardest part of writing a memoir may be realizing it’s not just about you. You have to pay attention to the reader’s experience as you write. We need to think about the reader if we want our work to have an engaged audience.

It may sound like a cliché, something like “winners never prosper,” or “love conquers all,” or “everyone can make a difference in the world,” or even “we can survive evil and thrive”. Sounding cliché is fine. The important thing is to know what your point is.

The personal becomes the universal. Being able to frame your book in a way that others understand means you are getting to a universal idea. Having a point in mind can help you find the structure of the book and shape it into a cohesive whole. It will help you decide which stories to include and which to leave out. The point is the reason others want to read your book! 

You don’t have to go it alone. Writing a memoir can feel like a monumental and isolating task. It’s easy to get bogged down in the confusion or multitude of your stories.

A book coach can help you sort out what’s important and focus on what’s most valuable in your story. Trained in how to make your story shine and engage readers, a book coach can help you ensure your book is the best you can create.

Book a FREE Zoom Discovery Call to see if we’d be a good match to work together. Contact: carol.tealart@gmail.com

Upcoming Courses I’m teaching:

Write On 2026, a series of FREE online sessions on writing and publishing, hosted by Book Coaches Canada. May 30- 31 2026.  Information at https://write-on-2026.heysummit.com/

Writing Memoir – June 29 – July 3, 2026 – Haliburton School for Arts & Design, Haliburton, Ontario. – Come write all week in this inspiring paradise of the arts. Affordable accommodations at the school or rent a nearby get-away. Registration & information: https://flemingcollege.ca/continuing-education/courses/writing-memoirs

Writers Oasis – June 1 – 5, 2026 – Full week of Inspiration & support to get your words on the page in a supportive community.  Information:  https://flemingcollege.ca/continuing-education/courses/writers-oasis

Bio:

Carol Teal has been passionate about writing since she learned to hold a pencil. She completed an MFA in Creative Writing through Lindenwood University, St. Charles, Missouri in 2022 and certified as a book coach for memoir and fiction with Author Accelerator, a leading organization in training book coaches. Carol has been a certified facilitator in the Amherst Writers and Artists writing method since 2017.  She loves writing, teaching, and developing supportive writing communities where each person’s voice can be affirmed.  She is an award-winning songwriter who enjoys performing with her husband, David Joyce, as the contemporary folk duo, Teal and Joyce. When she’s not writing or reading, she enjoys traveling, making pottery, playing music, and hiking.

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Category: How To and Tips