Striving for Imperfection, Seeking Perseverance

January 5, 2024 | By Women Writers Women Books | Reply More

Striving for Imperfection, Seeking Perseverance.

I’ve posted before about the writing retreats in France I co-facilitate with agent extraordinaire, April Eberhardt. Since I was first asked to teach in France I’ve been trying to learn French via Duolingo. A little bit every day for the past 18 or so months. I may not be able to say much more than “I like to visit the bakeries” but that’s one more sentence than I was able to say before going to France the first time. And, I do love visiting the bakeries in France. J’aime manger des croissants.

But during the process of learning a new language, we learn about words in general. Don’t worry, this isn’t going to be an etymological post. It’s going to be about new writing in the new year.

It’s the new year and so many goals and resolutions are being put into place. This will be the year, we tell ourselves, when I will finish that novel, memoir, short story, scrap book, haiku.

Setting goals makes the endeavor exciting. We visualize the story of Becoming an Author. We imagine ourselves tap, tap, tapping at the keyboard diligently. The day eventually will come where we print out the entire manuscript, reread it, ask friends to read it who will say it’s genius. We know finding an agent, then publisher is just around the corner. We start planning our publication party complete with guest list that includes both those who supported us and those who didn’t (because we are not the type to hold a grudge). The last scene in this daydream vignette is where the books fly off the shelf. In comic form, we see the books with little wings as they take flight.

January 2nd, maybe January 3rd comes and we are at our desks with the words blazing out of our finger (picture flames coming out of fingertips.)

Then, we veer too far off course, or even a little off course, and we often give up and consider it all a failure. Hopefully, we pick up and keep going, only to fall off that dang wobbly course again, and again, then finally find ourselves not even remembering we had a course we were following. Those books with wings seem to fly off into the hinterlands, not into the hands of readers.

People who are goal-oriented tell us Make it a habit. I even wrote about this in my most recent book, How to Write a Novel in 20 Pies. To create a habit, they say, whoever the hell they are, just takes three weeks of doing it repeatedly. I believe in habits. But I also know that habits come and go. I used to bite my nails and now I can’t trim my nails often enough. I used to write my morning pages every single day, and now I can’t remember the last time I wrote first thing in the morning. Or did any kind of journaling.

There must be a right way to do it though, since so many people do. But no one way is the right way. Just find your way.

But what is that way? How do you find your way? That can often be as elusive as the goals set on New Year’s Eve.

Accountability. It’s such an ugly word, in my opinion. It starts with the word, “account” which sounds like it involves a bank, checks, and that overworked, underpaid guy in A Christmas Carol. “Ability” is the other half of the word, and that sounds like you have to have the skills to do it before you even start. The definition of Accountability includes words like blame, responsible, liable—all shackles! Why would any of us ever want to be accountable to our writing? Even the antonyms are just as bad. Irresponsible, unreliable, renderable (I’m not even sure what this last word even means.).

Maybe we should think of a better synonym. We often need groups to help us to keep going. Writing Groups are famous for providing deadlines, motivation, and a shoulder to cry on. Sometimes we aren’t ready, don’t want, or even dread critique, but do crave the camaraderie of other writers. Camaraderie makes me think of esprit de corps, the spirit of the body, the enthusiasm of a group. See, this is how I got us all the way back to my French lessons. An Esprit d’ecrit, Spirit of Writing Group is all about being there with no expectations.

The word spirit insinuates an ethereal presence like a muse. Groups of enthusiastic writers are often muses for the rest of us, especially when maybe we’ve lost our enthusiasm when we fell off that damn track. Esprit de corps translates to Spirit of the Body. Spirit of the Group. Let’s start Spirit of Writing.

A few things I’ve learned, or relearned, with my daily French lessons.

A little bit every day really does help to remember the words and keep the momentum of learning moving forward. Just 5-10 minutes works.
Duolingo pairs you up with friends also learning languages, and together we reach small goals that help us learn a little bit more. One is enough, five is plenty, twenty even more fun, if you like people.
Having a sense of humor is always key, no matter what you are learning. Why else would I need to learn, The owl is green, Le chouette est vert?
I may never be fluent, or even proficient, but maybe I’ll know enough to not say yes to every invitation when I didn’t know it was an invitation in the first place, but that’s one less embarrassing moment I went through last summer.
No matter how big or small our progress, the achievement is that much closer. In fact, progess is achievement. Books are fluttering their wings in anticipation.

One thing I should let you know, books don’t really have wings. Although, our imaginations do when given the chance.

Esprit d’ecrit is exactly what I need right now. So, I’m starting a writing workshop the end of January. It’s hybrid, both in my salon, and on Zoom. I’ll be recording it if you can’t make the time.

Join me for ten Tuesdays from 11am-1pm PST starting January 30, 2024. We will give ourselves permission to write the story we’ve been wanting to write. The next steps will include tools to keep any book or story or essay project moving forward, and yourself motivated. Learn how to let go of perfectionism, and just write. Learn how to fine-tune your book, push through rejection, how to believe in the next steps, and how to feel part of a supportive group of others persevering. Enjoy generative exercises, talks on craft, new perspectives, camaraderie, laughs, and a whole lot of everything that keeps you motivated to enjoy and pursue your writing. We will have a few guest speakers, including, but not limited to Amy Carstensen on organizing your brain to keep the story in perspective, and also the amazing author Sue William Silverman whose latest book, Acetylene Torch Songs you will receive for free as part of the workshop price. You’re guaranteed to have fun and feel accomplished. There will be opportunities to share your writing with or without input. No critique in the traditional sense, but if you are craving this, reach out to me. https://www.amywallen.com/workshops2

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Amy Wallen is the author of two books, a bestselling novel MoonPies & Movie Stars (Penguin 2007) and a memoir When We Were Ghouls: A Memoir of Ghost Stories (UNP American Lives Series 2018). Her third book titled How to Write a Book in 20 Pies: Sweet and Savory Secrets of the Writing Life (Andrews McMeel 2022) is a sardonic look at the writing life with instructions on how to find your way. She’s at work on a second novel, a menopausal Nancy Drew mystery. She is also the founder of Savory Salons, A Delectable Day of Discourse, conversations with authors; and the founder of DimeStories, open mic and radio series on NPR. She facilitates the Big Picture manuscript workshop, and hosts Savory Salons—a delectable day of discourse with a guest author. She was the Associate Director of the New York State Summer Writers Institute. She bakes pies, both sweet and savory, to keep herself motivated, and to nourish writers’ souls. You can learn more about her workshops with and without pie at www.amywallen.com.

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