Authors Interviewing Characters: Alli Frank and Asha Youmans
When Alli Frank and Asha Youmans’ TINY IMPERFECTIONS debuted in 2020, this dynamic Black and White duo proved that two are better than one. Good Housekeeping, Good Morning America, POPSUGAR, SheReads, TheSkimm, and the New York Post all recommended their debut novel as a must-read. Now, Frank and Youmans return with their signature warmth and wit in NEVER MEANT TO MEET YOU – a novel that skillfully renders an honest portrait of two smart, strong women caught in mid-life tragedies who manage to laugh through the tears and heartache of the modern world they are navigating.
NEVER MEANT TO MEET YOU
CHARACTERS Interview by Alli Frank + Asha Youmans
*Sitting early morning at a picnic table overlooking Lake Merritt in Oakland, CA.
Judy: Where’s mine? I see how it is, you picked up a coffee for yourself and didn’t even think about me. And what about Noa? You know she needs caffeine in the morning.
Marjette: Noa, you see how she does? I haven’t even sat down for this interview and she’s already on my case. I think the first question should be “Marjette, why are you friends with Judy?”
Judy (accusingly): And my answer would be, ‘Somebody’s gotta keep her in line.’ You probably aren’t even going to record those latte personal points in your Weight Watchers App, are you?
Marjette (ignoring Judy): Can we get started with this interview, before I strangle this old lady?
Noa: Uhhhhhh okay, but this interview is about female friendship for a coffee table book idea I’m working on for Golden Gate Books. You sure you two are ready to talk about your relationship?
Marjette and Judy (in sync): Absolutely.
Noa: So, tell me, how’d you two meet?
Marjette: You already know that story Noa, you don’t want to hear it again.
Judy: Duh, Marjette. She needs to record it for the book. Summer break makes your brain soft. We met when I was the Head of the Houghton School and I hired Marjette fresh out of University of Oklahoma, to be a kindergarten teacher. She had such a baby face back then, but that face was very qualified. I’ve always enjoyed giving young, eager teachers their first job. Before I retired, I was known among private school heads in Northern California as being an excellent mentor to new teachers.
Marjette: Pul-ease Judy, total revisionist history. You know I wasn’t qualified unless you count babysitting. I was Black and you, my friend, were tired of the being the lone chocolate chip in a sea of vanilla.
Judy: That’s true Noa, write that down. I was tired of speaking for the entire Black population at every admissions event, curriculum committee, and board meeting. Everybody thought I was some kind of well of Black knowledge for my community. I was only forty back then, hardly Grandma Moses. But there’s comfort in numbers, and Marjette became my side kick the minute she signed her contract. Were you even twenty-two, Marjette?
Marjette: Barely. And I had no idea what I was getting into when I walked right into your plan and one of your classrooms. I needed a job quick to pay for Booker and me to have a roof over our heads. Living in the Bay Area is not cheap.
Judy: I told you I didn’t want to talk about that ex-husband of yours today.
Noa (picking up what Judy laid down): Steering clear of Booker, what can you two tell me is the secret to keeping your twenty-year friendship going strong.
Judy: I have endless patience.
Marjette (spitting out a swig of her latte): Patience? We don’t have to bring up my ex, but we do need to bring husbands back into this conversation, I think. Your husband is the source of any patience you have. Noa, Judy and her husband are marriage assassins.
Judy: What’s that supposed to mean? I never tried to kill him.
Noa: Ok, but this is about you …
Marjette (cuts Noa off): An assassin means you’re killing it. Doing well. See? This is why I told you to watch RuPaul’s Drag Race.
Judy: I have no time to be watching another one of your shows, Marjette. Besides, I prefer when you watch it and tell me all the good parts. It can’t possibly entertain me more than your reenactments of the catwalk.
(Marjette, Judy and Noa devolve into laughter.)
Noa: Alright you two, narrative integrity. I’m never going to get the information I need if you keep going off on tangents!
Marjette: Ok, ok. Sorry, Noa. You know how Judy gets me going. But we’re ready.
Noa: Thank you. Now… what do you think is the secret to long lasting friendship? It doesn’t happen by accident.
Judy: Well, at our age, some of it’s got to be need, right? I mean history keeps friendships going when you start young but after forty most women I know can’t be bothered investing in new friendships. Our secret is Marjette keeps me from growing old and I keep HER from growing old. There would been no Max without the two of us, am I right Noa? Marjette’s boyfriend would still be that RuPaul.
Marjette (turning to Judy but pointing at Noa): Aww. That was kind of sweet, Judy. Noa, don’t believe her for one second!
Judy: What?!
Marjette: This woman gets it in her head to try new things I never would! She wasn’t looking for a friend to keep her young. She wanted a crash test dummy for all the shenanigans on her bucket list, and I fit the bill. Do you really think a cook like me would willingly join Weight Watchers? I did it because Judy wanted to get fit in retirement and I wanted a standing date with her since we were no longer both going to be at the Houghton School.
(All the ladies laugh again.)
Noa: Well, what about me? Why are you both friends with me?
Marjette: Who says we are?
Judy (swatting Marjette’s arm): Marjette!
Marjette: Oh, relax, Ms. Manners. I’m just messing with her. (Turns to Noa and takes her hand across the table.) We’ve been through things since we met that count for as much as history between childhood girlfriends. Things that surpass needing a partner in crime. You, Noa, are the X-Factor of friendship. Something special that just can’t be explained. Kind of like a lucky bird poop that falls from the sky and then you hit the lottery.
Noa: Okay, gross but also oddly sweet.
Judy: Listen Noa, it doesn’t matter why, it matters what. And what the three of us are is more than friends. We’re family.
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Find out more about Alli Frank and Asha Youmans here: https://alliandasha.com/
Category: Interviews, On Writing