Writing Through The Chaos About The Most Transformational Time of My Life

Writing Through The Chaos About The Most Transformational Time of My Life

By Nikol Rogers

Time can be a funny thing as a writer, especially if you are writing a memoir. Typically, memoirs are inspiring tales of courage, and overcoming immense obstacles. However, they are never written in the midst of chaos, because the writer is actually living the story they will tell in the future. And in most cases, the writer has no idea that the hell they are living in that moment will actually become a book. Simply because, chaos is overwhelming.

I know, because in one year’s time I went through a devastating divorce, was robbed, lost a dear friend to a heart attack, and was in two car accidents in one day. The year was 2013, and I watched the life, career, and marriage I had carefully crafted over decades go up in smoke. I felt like I was burning to ash again and again, but in the midst of the flames, I heard a new quiet voice within. This voice was leading me to meditation, silence, and finally confronting the fact that the life I was living wasn’t working.

As I was trying to find my anchors in the storm, I turned to one of the tools that had been with me since childhood, my pen and paper. I started writing my gratitudes and recording my victories. Even if the best I could do in one day was wash my laundry, I would write this down. And as I was in therapy for the first time in my life, I finally had a teacher to help me understand my vivid dreams, which now were flowing almost every night. My inner world had awoken after years of suppression and had a lot to say. 

On my nightstand were three journals, one for gratitudes and victories, one for poetry, and one for dreams. They became my confidants and safe harbors, and ways to translate all the chaos and radical change that was happening in my life. Losing everything brought me to a fundamental question, “who am I?” Writing helped answer this, alongside many new books I had bought on Buddhism, and recovering from heartbreak.

Halfway through 2013, I went on my first yoga retreat ever and had a life changing healing session with a Mayan Shaman who read my chart. He looked me deeply in the eyes and said, “one day you will write a book on healing.” After speaking with him, I wrote in my travel journal, “could this be the story I’m living now? A collection of short stories or poems?” A seed was planted, and I returned home and continued to chronicle my year.

As the ball dropped in Times Square on 2014, I found myself amazed that I had survived the worst year of my life. But what was most miraculous was that I felt hopeful. I had this newfound energy and truly wanted to create a new beginning. So, I hired a life coach and she helped me use my love of writing to launch a blog. On the blog I began to share my stories from 2013, and readers started to grow. 

I was starting to date and had been through a radical transformation. So much of the woman I had been was washing away and I accessed a newfound confidence. I decided to launch my own coaching business in 2015 and was interviewed on podcasts and several online events. Every time I shared the story of my year, people’s eyes would light up with hope. So many came forward and said, “me too!”  I was teaching these tools to my clients, and realizing that everything was based on what I discovered within myself in the midst of this life changing devastation. 

The Shaman’s words rang in my ears, so I vowed to write a book about 2013. I vowed to use my experience to help transform other people’s lives. As time would have it, I wouldn’t sit down to my computer until 2021 to finally write my premiere book. I gathered all my journals, and the books that had been my teachers during that year. I gathered all the slips of paper I had written on because I wanted to base the book on where I actually was in the moment. I lovingly opened the collections of poetry that were dog-earred and worn from so many nights of searching for answers. So, I decided to use the actual journal entries and poetry in the book, to act as anchors of truth while I crafted the full timeline of all that occurred.

I was a very different woman in 2021. I was now happily remarried, living in another state, and a successful coach. But having the words of the woman I was in 2013 kept me grounded.  If I doubted anything, I could return to her, because she was so clear on what she was feeling, what she was seeing, and what her psyche was revealing through dreams. And because I was now out of that storm, I had the wisdom of my personal growth to add to each chapter I wrote. In fact, the book flowed out of me in five months with zero blocks.

Writing this memoir was an ode of respect for the woman who survived deep devastation and a celebration from the woman who then was able to create the life and love she had always longed for. 13: One Woman’s Sacred Journey to Discovering Her Greatest Power is a trip across time, and one that is rooted in truth. A part of me knew what she was doing with all that writing while in the midst of the storm, and I’m so grateful to have partnered with her for this sacred tale. This connection to my past and present has allowed me to create a powerful story that I hope inspires the reader to create a whole new beginning, and a writer to feel fulfillment and ease.

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About the author:

Nikól Rogers is a speaker, writer, and empowerment coach who helps people reclaim their confidence, expand their perfect audience, and bring their fearless vision to life. She has taught her ZenRed Method globally, which teaches you how to re-frame how you think, feel, and act from a place of power, rather than from fear or limiting beliefs. This has helped her clients become more confident versions of themselves and in alignment with their true purpose through her signature course, Powerful Presence. Her new book, 13: One Woman’s Sacred Journey to Discovering Her Greatest Power (Zenred / November 2, 2023 / $13.99) is for people who want to create a whole new beginning and have decided their life is precious and worth living. 

With a 20-year professional performance career that includes kicking eye high as a Rockette, Nikól has stood on countless stages. Her work is greatly influenced by her Zen practice, Qi Gong, Nonviolent Communication, and her decades of experience as an Artist. Nikól teaches that the heart of transformation lies in discovering who you are. It is this journey that unlocks a person’s greatest power, and allows you to manifest a life you love. Her clients and students have published books, sold out events and concerts, created Solo shows, spoken on large stages, and created award winning businesses that feed and nourish them. Nikól lives in New Jersey with her life partner and family, and can be found regularly holding binoculars, standing in nature, and fawning over birds.

13: One Woman’s Sacred Journey to Discovering Her Greatest Power

“A masterpiece of truth, bridging the terrestrial to the celestial.” — Alice Inoue, Life Expert, Indie Excellence Award-Winning Author and Founder of Happiness U

We know the number 13 to be traditionally viewed as an unlucky number, but for Nikol, it turned out to be the most transformative number of her life.

This book is a story about the year Nikol’s life went up in flames, burning to ash all of who she thought she was. Nikol had spent decades carefully crafting her career, marriage, persona, and friendships. But as she watched the life she had built disappear into smoke, she found herself hearing a new, quiet voice within her. The voice of 13.

13 is the sacred invitation, the auspicious calling to your heart to finally have the life you have always desired.

Sharing with absolute vulnerability the ravages of losing her identity, Nikol’s writing creates a beautiful space of self empowerment for anyone who has felt deeply stuck in relationships and a life that doesn’t work. This book is for people who want to create a whole new beginning and have decided their life is precious and worth living. It is also about the workings of sacred numbers in our lives and how devastation can open you to your greatest power.

Tags: featured, women writers

Category: On Writing