The Inspiration for Writing ‘The Sure Thing’
By Elana Auerbach
Flushed and satisfied, I swung my legs off the bed, slowly stood up, and took a couple of steps. I stopped suddenly and turned toward Bill, still lounging in bed.
“This is so miraculous, I think I’m going to have to write a book about it,” I said, awestruck.
“Yep, I think you’re right, sugar,” he replied.
And so began the years-long journey to write The Sure Thing: A Pleasure Practice to Revive the Spark. At the time, I was writing a bi-weekly 600-word column for a local, print-only paper. That was the most consistently I’d ever written in my life. I was a math major in college and had intentionally avoided classes that required even minimal writing.
The Sure Thing pleasure practice had changed my life and saved my marriage. To fulfil the dream of sharing this simple and profound practice I’d created with the world, I knew I needed support, structure, and inspiration. Firstly, I turned to my sacred storytelling mentor, Leah Lamb, and hired her as a creative coach. She encouraged me to use the Scrivener writing software. It was daunting for a tech-challenged person, but I persevered. I’d write a section, and Leah would read it and offer suggestions.
I tried to move the book forward in some way every day. After many months (or was it years?), I had a draft. Leah recommended Veronica as an editor. It took a minute, but I figured out how to create a draft manuscript in Scrivener and sent it to Veronica. I was elated.
What would’ve taken her a few weeks ended up taking more than four months to edit. Veronica was supporting her mom through a health crisis. I practiced patience. Sometimes successfully, but more often, I cycled through regretful thoughts like, Why didn’t I choose a different editor? She told me about her mom’s health—how come I didn’t listen? And on and on.
In the summer of 2023, Leah offered a new course, “The Bloom Collective: for people who need to be held accountable for completed works.” I signed up immediately.
About a month later, Veronica’s feedback arrived in my inbox: “This requires a major rewrite.” I wasn’t surprised, though a ball of dread grew in my belly. She provided lots of ideas and even a suggested outline for how to restructure the book.
Inspired by a crafty friend, I gathered scissors, markers, construction paper, the printed manuscript, and Veronica’s notes and spread them around me on the floor. I cut up the manuscript, rearranged the chapters, and mused with my markers on chapter titles. … After a couple of hours, an entirely new plan for the book emerged.
The Bloom Collective was a delight and yet, a year later, when the course ended, I still didn’t have a completed manuscript or even a book proposal. Susan Shapiro was a guest teacher in one of the last classes. She loved the idea of my book and recommended that I get an article published about The Sure Thing—suggesting it could lead to a book deal. She was offering a five-week course on getting published, so I signed up.
I pitched many publications and submitted an essay to “Modern Love” at the New York Times. A year later, I received an email from one of the editors: “I don’t find your essay right for our needs.” During that year, I sent my book proposal to dozens of agents and small publishers. There were a few who wanted to work with me, but my meager following on social media was an insurmountable obstacle. I needed to complete the manuscript and I was aching to share this practice in a world that seemed to get more polarized, fearful, and cruel.
In the spring of 2025, I offered The Sure Thing Challenge, a 13-week online course, where the participants committed to a weekly pleasure practice and I committed to sending them a chapter a week. Ta-da! A course structure that would support me in finishing the book was created.
With only two weeks left in the course and a nearly complete manuscript, I still didn’t have a publisher. I knew that I could self-publish, but I wanted the guidance and support of a publisher. At a summer solstice gathering, a friend told me about her hybrid publisher, Jane Ashley of Flower of Life Publishing. I hadn’t considered hybrid publishing. Excited, I reached out to Jane. We had a Zoom call and I did some research. It felt right, so I hired her.
Fast forward six months of living daily on my growing edge, The Sure Thing: A Pleasure Practice to Revive the Spark is out today, February 3, 2026–just in time to resource and fuel us for what’s ahead.
I believe that we’ve been primed by these times: our hearts are already shattered open with fear, rage, and grief. So what if we consciously fill them with love? What if we intentionally cultivate more joy, ecstasy, and pleasure? How many people practicing The Sure Thing would it take to tip the scales?
What I learned from the journey of writing this book is that, together, we can create miracles. May The Sure Thing inspire you to start a weekly pleasure practice that nourishes you and your relationships. May that nourishment catalyze acts of kindness and courage.
About the Author:
Elana Auerbach is the author of The Sure Thing: A Pleasure Practice to Revive the Spark (published by Flower of Life Press, February 3, 2026).
The Sure Thing: A Pleasure Practice to Revive the Spark
In The Sure Thing, Auerbach invites readers to bring joy, intimacy, and passion back into their relationships through a simple weekly pleasure practice. Drawing from the ritual that transformed her own long-strained partnership, she presents a clear, accessible, and fun framework for reconnecting with desire. Readers learn how to release shame, understand what they truly want, create a sustainable ritual of pleasure, and meet resistance with play instead of pressure.
Inside The Sure Thing, readers will discover:
- How pleasure nourishes the nervous system and creates emotional safety and connection • Why most couples drift apart—and how to reverse that with intention and play • How to break free from shame, conditioning, and the pressure to “perform” intimacy • How to navigate resistance and rekindle curiosity
- The Solo Sure: how to begin your pleasure practice even if your partner isn’t ready. You and your partner will benefit.
- A step-by-step guide to crafting your own fulfilling Sure Thing practice
For more information, visit https://surethingexperiment.com/
Category: On Writing
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