Authors Interviewing Characters: Julie Savanth

Interview with Rachel Bickerton

Rachel Bickerton is the central character in ASK HIM, the first novel in the Sandbox Trilogy by Julie Savanth. A compelling blend of psychological mystery and speculative fiction, ASK HIM explores every parent’s worst nightmare: the unexplained disappearance of her thirteen-year-old son Matthew Bickerton (Matt).

As the search for answers unfolds, Rachel is forced to confront not only the mystery surrounding her son’s disappearance but also deeper questions about memory, perception, grief, and the limits of human understanding. Through her journey, readers are invited to consider how much of reality lies beyond what we can see, and whether some questions change us simply by being asked.

In this exclusive interview, Rachel reflects on motherhood, love, loss, and the determination that drives her forward when hope seems impossible and reality questionable.

JS: Rachel, before everything happened, how would you have described your life?

Rachel: Ordinary. And I mean that as a compliment. I had a son, a gallery I loved, a house backing onto woodland and a life that felt rooted.  There were frustrations, of course.  There always are, my sister would probably tell you I was too idealistic and my husband would say I lived too much inside my own head. But I was happy. Looking back now, I think happiness often disguises itself as routine; you don’t realise how precious ordinary days are until they’re taken away from you.

JS: Tell us about Matt.

Rachel: Matt is curious in a way most people aren’t. He notices things, not just obvious things, but the things underneath, the things everybody else walks past. As a child he collected rocks while other children collected football cards. He’d rather spend an evening looking through a telescope than scrolling through social media – he doesn’t even have a mobile. He is fascinated by astronomy, geology, cryptography, physics – anything that hinted there might be more to reality than we currently understand. He always asks difficult questions – wonderful questions, the kind of questions that make adults realise how little they actually know. Sometimes I think that’s what I miss most.  Not just my son, but the way he looked at the world.

JS: Did you always understand him?

Rachel: No. But then I don’t think parents are supposed to understand everything about their children. What matters is I listen, Matt and I have a habit of wandering through the woods together, sometimes we’d talk for hours, sometimes we’d walk in silence.  I learned very early on that if you give him space, he’ll tell you what he’s thinking. And when he did, it was usually something extraordinary.

JS: Many will identify with your determination to keep searching. Where does that come from?

Rachel: From being a mother. People talk about maternal instinct as though it’s something mystical, for me it feels more practical than that.  You spend years being responsible for another human being, you learn their moods, their fears, their habits, you know when they’re pretending to be ill and when they’re genuinely suffering. Then one day they’re gone. How am I supposed to stop searching?  How am I supposed to accept not knowing? I think any parent would do the same – I will not lose hope.

JS: Your relationship with your husband Dom is tested. Do you still love him?

Rachel: Yes. That’s what makes everything so difficult. It would be easier if I hated him, hatred is simple – love isn’t. Love can survive disappointment, it can survive distance and it can survive doubt, what I am less certain about is whether it can survive secrets.  When your child goes missing, every aspect of your life is placed under pressure, things you never questioned before suddenly become impossible to ignore. Yes, I still love my husband very much, the question is whether I truly know him.

JS: Do you think grief changes people?

Rachel: Absolutely. The popular image of grief is sadness; the reality is transformation. You become somebody else, your priorities change and you become more aware of how fragile everything is. People assume grief makes the word smaller and in some ways it does, but in other ways it makes the world enormous. Every possibility becomes terrifying and every unanswered question expands.

JS: You have a deep connection with nature. Why?

Rachel: Nature has always felt honest to me. Trees don’t pretend to be anything other than trees, the seasons arrive whether we are ready or not.  Forests don’t care about our plans or ambitions and there is something comforting about that, when everything else seems uncertain, the natural world continues, my bees still gather pollen, the stars still appear, the moon still rises. Nature reminds me that life is larger than any individual tragedy – even when I don’t want to hear that.

JS: Matt often talked about realities beyond human perception. What do you make of those ideas?

Rachel: I used to think they were fascinating thought experiments. Matt would tell me about frequencies we can’t hear and wavelengths we can’t see.  He loved reminding me that our senses only capture a tiny fraction of what exists. His point was always the same, just because we can’t perceive something doesn’t mean it isn’t there. I thought it was an interesting scientific observation, now I’m not so sure. The longer you live with uncertainty, he more you begin questioning what you know and what you think you know.

JS: Are you afraid?

Rachel: All the time. I’m afraid Matt is suffering, I’m afraid he’s frightened, I’m afraid the answers, when they come, will be worse than the questions and I am very afraid that I am losing my mind, but fear isn’t the strongest thing I feel.  Love is, that’s what keeps me moving forward.

JS: What would you say to Matt if you could speak to him right now?

Rachel: I’d tell him to come home, that none of the rest matters, not the explanations, not the mysteries, not the lost time – just come home.   I tell him that I wanted to hug him so tightly he’d complain I was embarrassing him and that I wouldn’t cry….. but of course, I would cry, I’d cry a lot.

JS: Finally, what is the question that keeps you awake at night?

Rachel: People assume it’s Where is Matt? But it isn’t, the question that keeps me awake is much harder. How well do we ever really know the people we love? Because once that question enters your life, it doesn’t stop with one person, it changes everything.

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BUY ASK HIM HERE

Julie Savanth is an author whose work explores the intersection of human emotion, mystery and the unknown.  Drawing on an interest in psychology, science and the complexities of human relationships, she creates stories that examine how ordinary lives are transformed by extraordinary events.  ASK HIM is part one of The Sandbox Trilogy.

Connect with the Author:

Website: www.whereismatt.co.uk

Socials:

Instagram: @juliesavanth

Facebook: Ask HIM – New Mystery Thriller

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Category: Interviews, On Writing