Debunking The Biggest Stereotypes About Erotic Writers

Not a week goes by that I don’t receive explicit come-ons via email or Facebook from people who discover that I write and edit erotica. Sometimes it’s dick pics, sometimes it’s intimate details of their lives, sometimes it’s simply discussing sex in a way that’s utterly inappropriate without my consent.

The implication of these messages is, essentially, that because I write sexy stories, I also want to hear about strangers’ sex lives and engage in sexual dialogue with them. That I’ve opened myself up to this due to the nature of my work. They couldn’t be further from the truth.

I love being an erotica writer and editor, but this is one aspect of my job that I’ve come to believe is the equivalent of workplace sexual harassment. But I also understand why it happens—our culture doesn’t always teach about appropriate sexual boundaries, or provide outlets for people to discuss sex in an open and honest way (with consent), so when people hear that my job involves writing about sex, they somehow assume that means that I’m not a professional and they don’t have to treat me as such.

In addition to outright sexual inappropriateness, there are also other more subtle yet still insidious issues erotica writers face. The idea that all erotica writers are writing from experience is often implied or discussed outright. At many of my public readings and events, I’ve faced the question, “Have you done everything you’ve written about?” Would you ask a mystery writer if they’ve killed someone? No, but with erotica, it’s seemingly fair game. 

Again, the presumption that erotica writers don’t have boundaries like everyone else, is insulting. These questions presume that one can only write about sex acts they’ve personally experienced, which discounts the research and imagination that go into erotica. I got my start in the genre writing about certain aspects of my sex life that I fictionalized, but those tales can often be even more challenging to write, because the author has to seamlessly blend fact and fiction to drive the story.

Erotica writers are just like any other writers. We bring our creativity to our craft. We don’t just spit out one sex scene after another, but actually craft innovative plots and characters that incorporate various elements of sexuality.

In the course of my erotic writing career, I’ve written about everything from fire eating to foot fetishes, nudist clubs, professional submissives and an oral sex restaurant. I haven’t personally experienced those things, but my hope is that the writing comes across as if I have—because I’ve worked hard to make the characters and settings and sex acts come alive.

I’ve also written from various points of view, from gay men to transgender characters; it’s limiting and insulting to assume that erotica writers can only write based on what they’ve done in their own lives. That mindset also implies that experience with sex supersedes good writing chops; the truth is, someone with no sexual experience might be a better erotica writer than someone who’s slept with hundreds of people. While experiences may create fodder for fiction, they aren’t a substitute for craft.

One of the other most pernicious falsehoods about erotica is that since “sex sells,” we aren’t as talented as writers in other genres. This is utterly false. Erotica is about so much more than simply tossing in some dirty words and body parts. Erotica involves exploring the desire to touch and be touched, sometimes in very specific ways. It involves probing the innermost aspects of a character’s personality and wants, often getting them to reveal things that they so often keep private. It’s about pushing past the boundaries of propriety that still affect so many of us, even in 2020, and letting your characters be their wildest, most uninhibited selves.

Erotica is also about being unique and approaching sex in novel ways—which is not to say you need to come up with “new” sex acts, but you have to tell your stories in creative ways that will make even a sex act readers have encountered dozens or hundreds or thousands of times before feel fresh. I’ve read thousands of stories over the last two decades in my work as an erotica author and editor. When I post a call for submissions, I try to steer authors toward the types of subjects and plots I most want to see, but the stories I select are almost always ones that I could never have anticipated.

I believe the success of the erotica genre isn’t so much about “sex” selling as sex getting to the core of what it means to be human. Good erotica explores so much more than just what people are doing, but why they’re doing it. What motivates someone to introduce a new sex toy or type of sexual activity with their longtime partner, or confess a long-held fantasy when they’re not sure how it will go over? Why does being restrained, or spanked, or exposed, or degraded, or watched, feel so good to these characters? What makes them say yes to one lover and no to another? What makes this very erotic moment so climactic (pun intended) for them?

In erotica, it’s not enough to just say that physical action is taking place; authors have to also let readers into the minds of the people doing them. They need to make readers feel like they are right there with the character, reveling in whatever erotic adventure they’re having, whether that’s at home alone or amidst a crowd of people, knowing exactly why it’s so satisfying for them.

I’m proud to write and edit erotica, and proud to publish work by authors from around the world who boldly defy these stereotypes, and don’t let them stop them from crafting stories that educate, arouse and entertain.

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Bio: Rachel Kramer Bussel (rachelkramerbussel.com) is a writer, editor, event organizer and writing instructor and consultant. She’s edited over 60 anthologies, including Come Again: Sex Toy Erotica, The Big Book of Orgasms, Spanked: Red-Cheeked Erotica, five volumes of the Best Women’s Erotica of the Year series, and Best Bondage Erotica of the Year, Volume 1.

Her pansexual erotica has spanned numerous subjects, from French fries to boxing, as well as exploring lap dances, a dishwashing fetish, a nudist resort and a kissing party, among other scenarios and settings. Rachel’s nonfiction writing has been published in The New York Times, The Washington Post, O, The Oprah Magazine, SELF, Elle, Rolling Stone, and elsewhere. She teaches in-person erotic writing workshops across the country as well as consulting via EroticaWriting101.com and an upcoming online erotic writing class. Find her on Twitter @raquelita.

 

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