Deleted Scene from My Secret to Keep
Deleted Scene from My Secret to Keep
Last month my essay was about how much research is too much. This month I’m showing you what happened when I got myself wrapped up in the car Anne used to teach Maggie to drive. I devoted endless hours researching the car’s design, the interior and exterior colors, and where all the dials and knobs were located. I knew that car perfectly. And then my editor deleted the entire scene. (Trust me, it was a good call).
To set the scene: The year was 1970
Anne tossed me her car keys. “You can drive.”
I came to a standstill and attempted to toss them back, but they landed on the floor at her feet. “Don’t be ridiculous.” The pitch of my voice shot up a little higher than usual. “I can’t drive. I don’t have a license. I don’t know how.”
Anne picked up the keys, placed them firmly in my hand, and wrapped my fingers around them. “I’ll teach you.”
Anne’s car, a beautifully restored 1949 candy-apple red Buick Roadmaster convertible, cost more than the house I grew up in. And even though it was a classic, I swore I could still smell the white leather interior whenever I opened the car door.
I looked out the window. “It looks like it might rain. You don’t want to take your car out in the rain. I bet that car hasn’t been out in the rain in all the years you’ve owned it.”
“Don’t be silly. You’ve been telling me for months that you want to learn to drive.”
We moved from the house to the garage. “Go on, get in.”
“I don’t think…”
“Maggie, just get in.”
I shot her one quick look of annoyance before sliding behind the steering wheel and gripping it until my knuckles turned white.
Anne walked around to the other side and slipped into the passenger seat. She closed the door softly behind her. “You need to relax.” Uncurling my hands from the steering wheel and taking the keys from my fingers, she added, “Just keep your hands in your lap for now.”
“Your car is worth thousands of dollars,” I stammered, stating the obvious, leaving the rest unsaid.
“Don’t worry about my car. Just relax. Let’s get you familiar with where everything is. Look,” she said, pointing, “here’s the ignition, the lights, the windshield wipers. Before you know it, you won’t even need to look when you turn the lights on or the wipers. Just sit here and look around. Practice turning on the lights. Here’s the button to put the top down.”
I sat, frozen, with my hand on the lever to turn on the windshield wipers. It wasn’t raining yet, but I would be ready when it did.
“Put your foot on the pedal. Good. The point is to make sure you can easily reach everything. See? Here’s where you can adjust the seat. Does that feel comfortable?”
I nodded, even though I knew I would never be comfortable behind the wheel of her car.
“The right pedal’s the gas. The left one’s the brake.”
My right foot was resting lightly on the gas pedal, so I moved my left foot to the brake.
“No, no, you only use your right foot. You need to move your foot back and forth from the gas to the brake when you want to start and stop.”
Learning to drive was more complicated than learning how to use a sewing machine. And I didn’t need to worry that a sewing machine would take off by itself. I rested my head on the steering wheel and closed my eyes. “I don’t think I can do this.”
Anne chuckled. “Yes, you can. It’s not that hard. But you need to relax.”
When I slipped the key into the ignition and turned on the car, my forehead was slick with sweat, and my right foot had a cramp that practically curled my toes up out of my shoe. And I guessed that would be a problem since I needed that foot.
Fortunately, Anne always backed into the garage, so I was faced in the right direction when I inched down the length of the driveway. But that was as far as I wanted to go.
“How do I turn this thing off?’ I moved my right foot to the brake, and we both lurched forward even though the car was probably only moving a little faster than I could walk. I should have thought to ask that question before I needed to know the answer.
“Why do you want to turn it off?
“I changed my mind. Just tell me how to stop the damn thing!” I grasped the steering wheel as if my life depended on it.
Anne placed her hand on mine. “Just relax. If you don’t want to do this, we don’t have to. I’m not going to make you do something you don’t want to do.”
My hands automatically relaxed on the wheel. “Really?”
Anne nodded and explained how to turn off the car. “Hold your foot steady on the brake and put the car in Park, then pull the emergency brake on. We can try this again another day.” Anne leaned across the seat and kissed me on the cheek. “Maybe when it doesn’t look like it’s going to rain.”
—
BIO
Barbara Conrey is the USA Today Bestselling author of Nowhere Near Goodbye, her debut, published on August 4, 2020, by Red Adept Publishing. Liza Fleissig represents her at the Liza Royce Agency. Her sophomore novel, My Secret to Keep, released on August 23, 2022.
Barbara is an active member of the Women’s Fiction Writers Association, Women’s National Book Association, and Author Talk Network. She also moderates the online book club for the Facebook Group Bookish Road Trip.
Travel is her passion, along with reading, writing, hiking, and exploring antique shops. Her greatest love is Miss Molly, her rescue beagle. Barbara lives in Pennsylvania, close to family and friends.
FB: http://www.facebook.com/baconreywriter
IG: http://www.instagram.com/barbaraconrey
Web Site: http://www.barbaraconreyauthor.com
BookBub: Barbara Conrey Books – BookBub
MY SECRET TO KEEP
When Maggie Bryan works up the nerve to tell her parents she’s pregnant, they immediately disown her. Later that night, her boyfriend is killed. In desperation, she turns to her brother, Sam. Against his wife’s wishes, Sam brings Maggie to his home in rural Pennsylvania.
While Maggie awaits the birth of her child and navigates the tension in her new home, she decides to finish high school. There, she meets Anne Phillips, a volunteer educator and full-time architect. Over time, Maggie becomes drawn to Anne in ways she doesn’t understand, but she knows enough to keep her feelings hidden.
After a devastating loss, Maggie tries to move on, but secrets and betrayals keep her from living her fullest life. Beginning in the late 1940s and spanning decades, My Secret to Keep portrays a woman at war with society, her family, and herself.
“MY SECRET TO KEEP is a powerful story of courage and acceptance, an emotional journey through the life of Maggie Bryan, a strong but conflicted woman who, according to society, finds love in all the wrong places. Or does she?” Barbara Claypole White, bestselling auhor of THE PERFECT SON and THE PROMISE BETWEEN US
“Both heartwarming and heart-wrenching, MY SECRET TO KEEP is a poignant and stunning tale of secrets, lies, and betrayal that examines the choices we make about family, friendship, and love. Told thrugh a compelling narrative, Conrey’s writing is stunning. Readers can’t help but fall in love with Maggie and Anne. I was hooked from the first page.”
-Kerry Lonsdale, Wall Street Journal, Washington Post & Amazon Charts Bestselling Author
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Category: On Writing
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