Do You Feel Lucky?

Someone told me the other day that I’m lucky. 

I smiled and agreed. And then on the bus home I thought some more about luck; about what it is, if it’s in fact anything at all. And I realised that I’m no luckier than anyone else. It’s a choice.

I choose to be lucky. I work around the clock to be lucky. I go out and look for lucky. I try very hard to turn the negative life sometimes brings into lucky. Luck certainly doesn’t knock on my door with a killer cleavage and hand me a large basket of more luck. 

Yes, I’m lucky that one of my books longlisted for the Polari Prize recently, and another won the Best magazine best book of the year. I literally clapped my hands and jumped like a kid when I found out. Yes, I’m lucky that another of my books was on the main table in London’s Piccadilly Waterstones the other day. I didn’t want to leave it and couldn’t stop smiling afterwards. Yes, I’m lucky that a few of my books have made it into some magazines and newspapers. I’m so chuffed about this that I framed them. 

My lucky list is definitely long. I am lucky.  

Did I work for those things? Yes. Did I spend hours and hours and hours writing and editing and rewriting and reediting my books? Yes. Did I take on board all criticism and rejection and then work on them still some more? Yes. Did I then celebrate and share their successes to death because I’m proud and excited? Yes. Do I have an amazing publisher who supports my need to write what I have to? Yes. Do I love seeing others enjoy similar success? 

Yes, yes, yes.

But sometimes I struggle too. My life isn’t perfect. My mother is living in a mental health hospital at the moment, after jumping from the Humber Bridge. I work late hours in a zero-hour, minimum wage (which I happen to LOVE) job as an usher because I don’t even earn enough to pay tax with two jobs. I have a daughter who’s suffering with some serious mental health issues currently. I suffer with anxiety and childhood PTSD. 

I’m not saying these things to garner sympathy, just to show that behind ‘lucky’ people there are often things going on that compel the person to find the luck, rather than giving in. I suppose luck is simply how you look at things. It’s a bit like love or God or magic. If you believe in it, it exists. If you don’t…

I’ve been called smiley too, which I guess comes under the same category as lucky. And again, I choose to smile rather than grumble.

Five years ago, I thought my writing career was over before it had started. During the previous decade I’d written four novels (the first of my catalogue that were eventually released) and they were all rejected by every single publisher in the UK. I sat on a train with my husband Joe in November 2014 and said I didn’t know if I could do it anymore – deal with the endless rejection. Referring to my novel How To Be Brave and the men lost at sea waiting for a ship after having seen a plane at last, he said, ‘All those rejections were just aeroplanes – your ship is still coming.’

So that night I wrote to publisher Karen Sullivan at Orenda. And the rest, as they say, is history. 

I’m not always as cheerful as my social media platforms suggest. Of course not. That would make me utterly insane and thoroughly irritating. If you don’t believe me, come to Hull on a bad day and watch me swear fifteen times in two minutes. It’s a real treat, especially if I’m still in my dressing gown with huge hair. If you still don’t believe me, come another day when I’m crying because the washing machine stinks. 

I’m overly emotional, impatient, difficult to live with, and flawed. 

But yes, I am most definitely lucky.

And happy. Mostly.

—

Louise Beech took over ten years and four novels to get a book deal. Then her debut, How To Be Brave, got to No4 on Amazon and was a Guardian Readers’ Pick; Maria in the Moon was described as ‘quirky, darkly comic and heartfelt’ by the Sunday Mirror; The Lion Tamer Who Lost shortlisted for the Romantic Novel of the Year Award 2019; Erin Kelly said Call Me Star Girl was ‘as twisty and deadly as barbed wire.’ It also won the Best magazine Best Book of the Year in the Big Book Awards 2019. Book six, I Am Dust, will be released in 2020, and Louise is writing book seven.

Find out more about her on her website https://louisebeech.co.uk/

Follow her on Twitter https://twitter.com/louisewriter

CALL ME STAR GIRL

A taut, emotive and all-consuming psychological thriller, reminiscent of Play Misty for Me … from the critically acclaimed author of Maria in the Moon and The Lion Tamer Who Lost…

‘A complex and layered tale that charmed me as a much as it traumatised me. An atmospheric, haunting and beautifully written page turner!’ C L Taylor

‘Noirish psychological thriller with fascinating, disturbing characters. Compelling, twisty, and seriously addictive. EXCELLENT’ Will Dean

‘As twisty and deadly as barbed wire, this book will leave you breathless’ Erin Kelly

Stirring up secrets can be deadly … especially if they’re yours…

Tags: featured, women writers

Category: Contemporary Women Writers, How To and Tips