Excerpt from Beautiful Justice: Reclaiming My Worth After Human Trafficking and Sexual Abuse by Brooke Axtell

A story of healing and a guide to seeking justice after sexual abuse from Brooke Axtell, one of the foremost survivor experts on sexual assault, domestic violence, and human trafficking

When Brooke Axtell was seven years old, her nanny subjected her to sex trafficking. Today, she is a champion and advocate for women around the world who have experienced sexual violence and trauma.

Beautiful Justice shares Brooke’s own gripping story, both the trauma of sex trafficking and also her pathway through healing, moving on, and reclaiming power. Along the way, she imparts warm wisdom for others who have experienced similar violence, providing lessons from her own life and from the thousands of women, advocates, and lawmakers she’s spoken with.

Relying on her own experiences and a keen awareness of public policy, she provides a clear-eyed awareness of the ways that our culture and government work against women experiencing violence around the world.

Inspiring and powerfully redemptive, Brooke encourages readers to take part in a creative resistance as a path to justice.

Excerpt from Beautiful Justice: Reclaiming My Worth After Human Trafficking and Sexual Abuse by Brooke Axtell

As I step onto the stage of the Grammys, I hear the voice of President Obama, telling the world that violence against women and girls must end. “It’s on us,” he says with quiet confidence and conviction. His words resound through my body as I walk forward in the dark.

Then the spotlight hits me. The rows close to the stage are illuminated. I see pop music icon and sexual assault survivor Madonna.

“How many of us have remained silent for years, bound by shame?” I wonder.

When my time to speak comes, I pray to be a channel of healing and liberation for those experiencing abuse. Peace envelops me. “My name is Brooke Axtell, and I am a survivor of domestic violence. After a year of passionate romance with a handsome, charismatic man, I was stunned when he began to abuse me.

“I wanted to believe he was lashing out because he was in pain and needed help. I wanted to believe my compassion could restore him and our relationship. My empathy was used against me. My compassion was incomplete because it did not include me.

“When he threatened to kill me, I knew I had to escape. I revealed the truth of my relationship to my mom, and she encouraged me to seek help at a local domestic violence shelter. This conversation saved my life.”

I feel my power returning to me. I am not afraid anymore.

“If you are in a relationship with someone who does not honor and respect you, I want you to know you are worthy of love. Please reach out for help. Your voice will save you. Let it extend into the night. Let it part the darkness. Let it set you free to know who you truly are: valuable, beautiful, loved.”

After I finish my last line, Katy Perry sings “By the Grace of God.” Her voice resonates with beautiful clarity. “By the grace of God, I picked myself back up.” There is strength in her vulnerability.

I descend the stairs backstage and see Annie Lennox coming toward me. She has tears in her eyes and says, “You are wonderful.” As she embraces me in a warm hug, my heart floods with gratitude. I am overwhelmed by her kindness.

It took me so long to view myself with empathy and respect, but tonight I cross a threshold in my healing and freedom. I recognize I have finally learned to value my own voice.

As I make my way back to my seat in the audience beside my mother, I think of all my survivor sisters and our allies who are devoted to the undeniable worth of women and girls. I feel them walking with me. I hear women’s voices once buried by violence shake the earth beneath me and harmonize.

Together we are untamed light. My whole body vibrates with the knowledge of our collective power: to heal, liberate, and bring an end to the cycle of violence and oppression.

When I return to my seat, I talk with film director Ava DuVernay. She is here to watch Beyoncé, Common, and John Legend perform the song “Glory” from her film Selma.

“You are fabulous,” she says.
I am in awe she is acknowledging me.

“Thank you. So are you,” I reply.

Surrounded by influential celebrities and producers in the entertainment industry, Ava generously takes a moment to encourage me. She has nothing to gain from speaking to me, so I deeply appreciate her authenticity and grace.

I tell her how much I love her film and how important Dr. King’s work is for me as a human rights activist. When Beyoncé performs “Glory,” chills rush through my body. It has always been my dream to be a part of the legacy of freedom fighters. Yet I lived for many years not knowing whether I would ever find the emotional and spiritual freedom I deeply craved.

I consider all I have overcome to reach this moment as well as the stories of the abused women and girls I carry with me. The stories of those who survived and the stories of those who never made it out alive. Draped in a black sequined evening gown, I have shared an extremely concise account of the abuse I survived as an adult. But I could not convey in only a couple of minutes how brutal the darkness was before I reached the first glimpse of light.

Though flooded with gratitude to be here, even during this night of celebration, so many are still trapped in abusive relationships and disconnected from the birthright of their worth.

—

Brooke Axtell is the founder and director of She Is Rising, a healing community for women and girls overcoming rape, abuse, and sex trafficking. Based in Austin, Texas, she is a writer, speaker, performing artist, and activist.

Find out more about Brooke on her website http://brookeaxtell.com/

BEAUTIFUL JUSTICE:

Reclaiming My Worth after Trafficking and Sexual Assault

By Brooke Axtell

Published by Seal Press/Basic Books

Releasing 4/2/19

Pre-Order on Amazon

Tags: featured, women writers

Category: Contemporary Women Writers, On Writing