Excerpt from OUR MOTHERS, OUR DAUGHTERS
The mother-daughter relationship defines who we are, how we view ourselves, and what we want for our lives. Much like this multi-faceted relationship, the lessons in Our Mothers, Our Daughters are strong, yet soft. Through a collection of curated stories, readers journey alongside moms and daughters as they share poignant moments and messages of an everlasting bond. A Divas That Care anthology, this book showcases the collaboration and celebration of women and is presented in three collections: Connection, Inner Self, and Unconditional Love.
Contributors: Cheryl Ashton, Michelle Bateman, Jacqueline Biollo, Lynn Carnes and Jennifer Maneely, Sheba Cummings, Jerri Dexter, Beth Draper, Gia-Raquel Esposito, Meredith Ethington, Adriana Gavazzoni, Jennifer Herron, Daisy Kabagarama, Jean Kanokogi, Irena Kay, Carol Koppelman, Noleen Mariappen, Mandy McLaughlin, Giuliana Melo, Peggy and Kate Neligan, Kathleen Bayes Ogilvie, Brenda Pearce, Rosanna Pittella, Rose Simard, and Juanita Wilson.
We are delighted to feature this excerpt from OUR MOTHERS, OUR DAUGHTERS!
Our Mothers, Our Daughters
Candace Gish
When I was 17, I left home. My mother and I fought constantly about anything and everything, and we never had great communication skills. As I grew into the early stages of adulthood, I thought I knew it all. I flitted through opportunities and relationships like they meant nothing. I took so much for granted.
Then, one day, a relationship ground this all to a halt, and I went from a carefree life to one of misery. Every day, I felt like I was carrying the world on my shoulders, not knowing how much longer I could last.
It was my mother who helped me get back: not to who I was but to who I was becoming.
It’s funny how life changes. One moment my mother and I were enemies who could never see eye to eye. In the next moment, I was in the hospital, giving birth to my first daughter. My mother was the one beside me then, and she was the first to hold my daughter in her arms. Having her beside me gave me the strength to go on and to begin to trust my inner self again. In that moment, our relationship locked into place and became whole and real.
Now years from that young woman I once was, I still sometimes fight against my inner self. I still have to remind myself of what I have achieved and the challenges I have overcome. We all feel this push-pull inside our heads, but what I have learned is that this push-pull is what leads to growth. In my case, I also have learned that if I want to help others, I have to love myself first. To teach, I must understand the lesson.
I now have four daughters who are growing into adulthood. They’ve overcome challenges and will have more in the future. Much like I did, they struggle with loving themselves, and they fear the unknown of the future. They have trouble seeing themselves as I see them.
Like most mothers, I remind myself to look back to my younger self. I explain to my daughters that the internal rejection they feel is a natural part of growing up, that everyone experiences these feelings. And like my mother did for me, I strive every day to open their eyes to their beauty.
It’s a wonderful, tangled journey – motherhood. But just like my mother held my first baby, I hope to be the first to hold my daughters’ babies.
This is the reason I created the Divas That Care podcast network: so my daughters could fully grow into who they are meant to become. Sharing women’s stories allowed my daughters to learn from other women and to experience a wide range of perspectives. This same goal is why I create anthologies. Collectively, we have so much wisdom to share, and all of our daughters deserve the best we can offer.
The most important lesson I share with my daughters is this: You are brilliant, but no one will ever be able to convince you of that. It must be you who sees past the darkness of flaws and into the bright light.
An adapted excerpt from Our Mothers, Our Daughters: The stories that make and create our lives by Candace Gish and published by Absolute Love Publishing.
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Category: On Writing
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