Finding Balance

I’ve studied ballet since I was five. Even with taking a decade hiatus during college and just after, it’s still a lot of years. In my mid-forties, at least once a week I practice my pliés and pirouettes. My passé and my relevés. Yet I am known to fall over while putting on my sock and trip while walking across a smooth floor.

Balance is elusive.

This is even further ironic considering my day job is as a pediatric physical therapist. I literally teach balance for a living. Yet for so long, balance escaped me. As a child, I must have been a bit lackadaisical in my efforts because my parents drilled in me, “if you’re going to do something, do it right.” This was repeated so often that my dad gave me his t-shirt that said “Do It Right” on it. I remember wearing it to sleep in.

The message must have sunk in though because I have a tremendous work ethic and find myself giving 100%. The problem with that is if you always give 100%, you have nothing left for yourself. But for a long time, that didn’t matter. I had a job which made a difference in people’s lives. I had a husband who very much needed me. I had two kids who obviously needed me. 

I had time for everyone but me.

As a result, I developed a chronic illness that after two years, and countless specialist visits later, we determined was autoimmune in nature. When I was run down and became sick, my body attacked itself. Faced with the need to change, I threw myself into that. I said no. I listened to my body. The dishes could wait. Dusting could wait. My husband could cook dinner. I could save myself for the things that mattered, like my family.

During that time, as I was learning how to relax, I started writing. I’d had a story running around in my head for years. I used to tell it to myself, picking up where I left off, each night as I was trying to fall asleep. You see, thinking about this story helped quell the feelings of anxiety that so often stole my much-needed sleep from me. Then one day when I’d determined that there was nothing on our 900 cable channels worth watching, I opened up my laptop and started writing this story.

Two years later, I published this story as my first novel, Good Intentions. I never expected it to do much or lead anywhere. But by then, I found that I needed the outlet of writing. Ideas flowed through my head faster than I could get them on the page. 

In my personal life, I began to focus on the positive. Most of that was to take the advice of Dr. Stephen Birchak (via a wise Mom-friend) and ask “is this a crisis or an inconvenience?” anytime things did not go my way. Using this mindset, I found I had time for the things in life that brought me joy, even when there were a lot of inconvenient things happening. When I opened myself up to this, the stories were everywhere. 

Rooting through an unfolded basket of laundry became a symbolic scene in Hold Her Down. Bet you didn’t think you could make laundry interesting, did you? A phone conversation with a friend while someone at a bus stop reminded me of a person I used to know blossomed into I’m Still Here. Turning the corner at the grocery store to see a woman using a wheelchair was my first thought about Jump, Jive, and Wail. 

Suddenly inspiration was everywhere. I’d found balance.

Sometimes, the scales tip in one direction or another, and things don’t work how I wish they would. This past school year was a prime example. My day job, along with my kids’ school year, was more demanding than I’d anticipated. Extended family issues presented, and I knew that the only way to maintain balance was to let writing take a step back. I didn’t want to, and I still finished my projects, but I gave myself permission to not push through everything.

It’s tough because many in the industry are telling indie authors that they have to churn out book after book, rapid releasing an entire series in a few weeks in order to gain any sort of foothold in the market. Perhaps this is true. My foothold is not what it was two years ago and certainly not what I’d like it to be. But writing and releasing that quickly would be impossible for me to do with any semblance of balance. 

My topic for this blog was about the questions I am frequently asked. Mostly, they include: how do you have time to write and where do you get your ideas. Without balance in my life, I can find neither the time nor the inspiration to write.

Also, in all honesty, I’m not great at cleaning the house. Should you ever happen in my domicile, expect some clutter and some cat-fur dust bunnies. My home will never be considered for a spread in Better Homes and Gardens. I’ve come to terms with that. 

For me, balance might be elusive, but it’s not impossible. And for me, it’s the key to being a wife, mother, daughter, sister, pet owner (don’t even ask about the menagerie), physical therapist, friend, dancer, and author. Sometimes I wobble. Sometimes I fall. But I always get back up and try again. 

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Telling stories of resilient women, Kathryn R. Biel hails from Upstate New York where her most important role is being mom and wife to an incredibly understanding family who don’t mind fetching coffee and living in a dusty house. In addition to being Chief Home Officer and Director of Child Development of the Biel household, she works as a school-based physical therapist.

She attended Boston University and received her Doctorate in Physical Therapy from The Sage Colleges. After years of writing countless letters of medical necessity for wheelchairs, finding increasingly creative ways to encourage insurance companies to fund her client’s needs, and writing entertaining annual Christmas letters, she decided to take a shot at writing the kind of novel that she likes to read.

Kathryn is the author of multiple women’s fiction, romantic comedy, contemporary romance, and chick lit works, including the award-winning books, Live for This and Made for Me.

Please follow Kathryn on her website,http://www.kathrynrbiel.com and sign up for her newsletter at bit.ly/KRBNews.

Follow her on Twitter @KRBiel

 

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Category: Contemporary Women Writers, How To and Tips