Give Yourself Permission To Slack Off

We, women are too hard on ourselves, especially those of us who are moved to create. In order to tap into our creativity, the world must be shut away, at least for a space of time. Easier said than done when we have so many competing priorities. When we do manage to carve out a little time to write, we have to contend with the guilt of doifng something “selfishly” for ourselves instead of attending to multiple lit fires.   

This self-flagellation is self-defeating. Creative activities are promoters of joy and mental health, but it’s impossible to be creative when we blame ourselves for not carving out enough time or are resentful for all the other areas that vie for our attention. My favourite Neil Gaiman quote is “And when things get tough, this is what you should do. Make good art.” But when life is topsy-turvy and crowding close, how do you tap into those creative juices? 

I personally found this last year to be a challenge. Hectic work demands, increasingly complex family situations and the pressure to complete my second novel, Severed Knot, made for a difficult year. Instead of writing being a welcome outlet, my slow progress became a sense of anxiety and discontent. Even though the novel was eventually completed, I was still left with a feeling that I hadn’t completed it fast enough.  

Then a curious thing happened. Days before its release, Facebook brought up a picture I took a year earlier to commemorate the completion of the first draft. Despite all my personal challenges, I had moved that manuscript from first draft to published and created a story of in only one year. This was a keen reminder that insecurities can shape perception. Instead of recognizing the progress I had made, my narrative focused on the negative. Looking back, I now realize that the breaks I took from writing were not failure; they were part of my creative process. 

We need to be kinder to ourselves. Our creative well needs constant nourishing and attention. When we feel drained, that should be our cue to take a step back and recover, not force ourselves to move faster. 

Here are some suggestions on how to keep inspired and replenish your creative well—to make good art when times are difficult.  

Give yourself permission to slack off. If you need to take time off from writing, take it. This is not a sign of weakness. Consider it, instead, as the time you need to rekindle your creativity. There’s so much pressure to put out the next book, quickly, and with superhuman frequency. We all have hard deadlines, and I’m not advocating for blithely ignoring those responsibilities. Only consider that there are times when we need down time and there’s no shame in that. Read, walk, reconnect with nature— anything that makes you feel re-energized. Gifting yourself a well-deserved holiday will further that project along better than recriminations and guilt.

Stop being your worst critic. We are everything to everyone: caregivers, breadwinners, best friends, mothers, and lovers. Our plate is always full and this will never change. Glory in what you have accomplished instead of berating yourself for what you haven’t. Take steady steps and don’t forget to celebrate small victories because those little victories become huge accomplishments. 

Every hour counts. If you can only carve out one hour a day, take it and use it to its fullest. Any time that you can dive into your work uninterrupted will move your project further along. Having a full day is no guarantee of productivity. Set yourself up for success. Plan to write during the part of the day that you are the most creative. If you have a day job, write before you start or block off time during lunch. Many writers I know write during their commute. When you have a defined period of time to get to it, you’ll surprise yourself by how much you can accomplish. 

Flirt with other art forms. I’ve noticed that most creative people have more than one art in them. I’m a writer but I also sketch and paint. Surround yourself with art, talk to other creatives. Bask in their enthusiasm and it will spark your own. Something magical happens when you are surrounded by other forms of art—you start making new connections within your work and explore tangents that you might not necessarily have found. 

Call a friend. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a friend and let them know you’re overwhelmed. This is a hard one for me and I suspect it might be for many women. A kind word from a friend can go a long way in alleviating the burden. It goes the other way. Take a look at your strong friends, the women who don’t complain and who are the shoulder for many cry fests. Reach out and find out how they are doing. They might need a shoulder or a kind word too. 

Find your own rhythm and pace. Seize upon what excites you and be kinder and gentler to yourself. You’ll be sure to tap into that wellspring of creativity and make good art. 

—

Cryssa Bazos is an award-winning historical fiction author and is a co-editor and contributor to the English Historical Fiction Authors blog. Her debut novel, Traitor’s Knot was the Medalist winner of the 2017 New Apple Award (historical fiction), a finalist for the 2018 EPIC eBook Awards (historical romance) and the RNA Joan Hessayon Award. Her second novel, Severed Knot, was longlisted for the Historical Novel Society 2018 New Novel Award. For more information visit her website https://cryssabazos.com

Severed Knot

Barbados 1652. In the aftermath of the English Civil War, the vanquished are uprooted and scattered to the ends of the earth. 

When marauding English soldiers descend on Mairead O’Coneill’s family farm, she is sold into indentured servitude. After surviving a harrowing voyage, the young Irish woman is auctioned off to a Barbados sugar plantation where she is thrust into a hostile world of depravation and heartbreak. Though stripped of her freedom, Mairead refuses to surrender her dignity.

Scottish prisoner of war Iain Johnstone has descended into hell. Under a blazing sun thousands of miles from home, he endures forced indentured labour in the unforgiving cane fields. As Iain plots his escape to save his men, his loyalties are tested by his yearning for Mairead and his desire to protect her. 

With their future stolen, Mairead and Iain discover passion and freedom in each other’s arms.  Until one fateful night, a dramatic chain of events turns them into fugitives. 

Together they fight to survive; together they are determined to escape.

Severed Knot is available through online retailers in paperback and eBook (https://books2read.com/SeveredKnot)

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Category: How To and Tips