“I WRITE BOOKS, SO I CAN’T LOG OFF” 6 Don’ts for Authors on Social Media

“I WRITE BOOKS, SO I CAN’T LOG OFF”

6 Don’ts for Authors on Social Media

Hands up if you are a sensitive introvert who, on a daily basis, composes and backspaces unpublished social media posts, overthinks all comments, or simply goes blank when it comes to “curating content.” Let’s not even mention the sting when a peer doesn’t follow us back. Does this social media woe sound familiar to you?

We might ask: Why are we logged on, browsing newsfeeds, checking notifications or a lack thereof with growing unease in our stomachs? Why not simply abandon these public accounts that trigger anxiety in so many of us? As another writer and community member recently noted in one of my support groups: “Because I’m an author. I want to sell books. So I can’t leave.” 

That’s right: Long gone are the days of the brilliant debut writer locked in her cave, typing away her best-selling novels in utter obscurity. In today’s turbulent, digitally-upended publishing industry, authors need to have an online presence. Readers want it. Publishers want it. Some call it your platform; others refer to it as your brand. Fair enough. So, you go ahead, crack your knuckles, and create your accounts on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and there you are: your face—your real or imagined one—posing as your “label” in a little two-by-two profile pic. 

Now don’t get me wrong, there are definite benefits to social media. Like most things in life, (and despite numerous verified studies that show the effects of depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem reported by its users), social media is not a one-size-fits-all experience. Finding that personalized balance is key. The only issue? Achieving balance is extra hard for many writers. A large demographic of writers identifies as quiet, introspective, and private. Think of us as those who are biologically dispositioned to be “digitally shy.” It’s no wonder then, that social media stresses us out. all. the. time.

This is the case, largely in part because in order to be successful—garner followers and build that platform—social media demands a certain openness and extroversion of its users. It involves an out-putting of energy into a large crowd and, (let’s be perfectly honest), a judgemental crowd at that. With barrels of rotten tomatoes on standby, understandably, social media can be emotionally draining, especially over long periods of time.

Done right, social media asks that we improvise and create in-the-moment witty, thought-provoking, entertaining, or heartfelt posts. We must get personal for others to relate to or, at the very least, find our posts interesting. I mean, really, who wants to follow a boring feed of mundane or pompous self-promotion? 

In many ways it’s ironic; in these digital environments fundamentally built on façade and one-dimensional, byte-sized data, authenticity matters. A show of individuality and humanness matters. We are all snowflakes—flutter away! If only it were that simple. 

We need all the support we can get. So for authors who perhaps, like me, feel a bit overwhelmed by current demands for maintaining active and engaging social media accounts, here are 6 tips—or don’ts to help ease the stress… 

1. Don’t be all that engaging. 

That’s right. Go on, get no likes. Be a rebel versus an overachieving perfectionist. Give yourself permission not to go viral—not to “blow up the internet.” After all, who died and made that post the boss of you and your self-worth? Your successes in life are hardly defined by likes on social media—that is, unless you’re employed as an influencer and your bread and butter is likes, which it’s not. Your income is founded on writing good books, so problem solved.

Put another way, check yourself mentally and make sure you’re using the right measuring stick for success. We can’t use likes or follows on social media to gauge a writer’s storytelling talent, any more than we can use a thermometer to evaluate time. It’s an inaccurate tool.

• Don’t panic.

Pick the social media apps that give you the least anxious feelings. You don’t need to sign up for them all, or even try them. Rather, do your best to focus on apps with features you like. Then share the simple things in life—moments that bring you quiet joy; for example, maybe you find pleasure in taking photos of your garden or talking about your pet. That way, it’s less of a chore and, dare I say, almost fun?

• Don’t look now.

Perform a hit and run: enter your post, then run. Don’t check notifications every minute. Just go. Leave. Better yet, turn off notifications for your post. Forget about it. Distract yourself. Go read a book. Bake a cake. Eat a cake. 

Grab a stopwatch. Time yourself. Be disciplined with your social media “on” and “off” time; otherwise, social media is like quick sand—it will suck you in, whether or not you’re enjoying yourself. Only you can decide the right schedule for yourself, but monitor your emotional energy, and try to physically log out of all accounts at least once a day for a set number of hours. Experiment until you find the right balance for your mental health.

• Don’t forget your people.

Follow other introverts. “Heart” nice people. I know it sounds like commonsense, but we are all drawn to the famous, big-name accounts. While there’s nothing wrong with that, (I follow celebrity authors, too!), it can equally ease stress to follow like-minded, “quiet” people who aren’t necessarily getting hundreds, if not thousands of likes per post. 

Be aware that we are unconsciously, if not consciously programmed to compare ourselves to others on social media. And if you’re only seeing “big names” on your feed with high engagements, that means you’re more likely to feel inadequate in comparison. So wrangle that superficial popularity contest your mind plays; put it in a choke hold by making valuable relationships as much as possible. Reach out on hashtags like #writingcommunity or #5amwritersclub, and you might be surprised with the amount of lovely, supportive folks you encounter!

• Don’t take it personally.

Remind yourself regularly: it’s not you, it’s them, (even though it may not feel that way). No matter their familiarity, most people on social media are strangers; and for those peers who aren’t? Well, cut them some slack. They live busy, stressful lives. There are a million and one reasons why they might not interact with you, follow you, “heart” you, and odds are good, it has nothing to do with you or your posts! That brings me to the final tip…

• Don’t listen.

The harshest critic is the imaginary audience in your head. In reality, the majority of people—including your followers—don’t even see your post, (this is statistically true and verifiable through analytics); and for those who do? They are not caught up in picking apart your words. On the contrary, chances are they are spending too much time stressing over their own posts and likes. Such is the beast of social media. 

So take a deep breath and know you’re not alone. Yes, you may be an introvert. Yes, you are an author who’s required by profession to be socially active online. But if you can persevere through the challenges of writing and publishing a novel, then you can prevail against the trials of social media. Word by word, you won’t fail. You won’t leave. Because you’re an author.

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The Hitman’s Daughter

Tags: featured, women writers

Category: How To and Tips