Initiation into Authorship: Calamity to Creation
The Swimmer, an Esme Ellis Sculpture
I was never meant to be a writer.
Or so I believed until…
After virtually forty years of training and practising the art of sculpture, my life took a surprising new course.
It is said that a Shaman must endure some physical calamity – a fall from a high rock face, breaking every bone in their body – be taken apart and reassembled again – before discovering their true power.
The same could be said of a writer.
Pathway Into Sunrise, Memoir by Esme Ellis
From the most earthy, hands-on, three dimensional form of creative expression, sculpture, I was led through a devastating illness to a miraculous healing. And from that, to the discovery that I was indeed a writer.
My first book, Pathway Into Sunrise; Journey of a Wounded Healer, an autobiography with a difference written at sixty years of age, told that story.
Two novels were to follow. Clea and the Fifth Dimension, and This Strange and Precious Thing. This venture into fiction was a means by which a profound message could be transmitted whilst connecting with the reader in a fascinating adventure.
Story-telling at its best creates an energy which goes beyond the words on the page; it carries us into a direct feeling relationship with the unfolding message.
As Author we wield the power of the word. We can entertain, tell stories just for the fun of it, or we can move people deeply; delve into our minds and draw out from ourselves words which bring to the surface a truth which resonates with The Other’s experience, but in a manner which articulates that experience freshly, in a new way. In this sharing of feeling and experience, the Word has power, a magical power. We are actually using words to shape experience.
Through the expression of a truly lived experience I, as author, claim my Authority and validate my right to Creatorship. And that, I believe, is a message worth sharing, for it proclaims to the reader: “This can be your discovery too.”
I wrote my second two visionary fiction novels as my own pathway deepened and widened.
Clea and the Fifth Dimension by Esme Ellis
After attending conferences in which cutting-edge science met far-out spirit: Beyond the Brain, at St. John’s College, Cambridge and Science and Consciousness in Albuquerque, N.M. USA, I began to wonder: Was this taking me into territory where few might follow? Excited and stimulated, fired with a passion to communicate my discoveries, I realised that fiction might offer the solution. Clea and the Fifth Dimension came out of that.
I drew together Clea, a present-day career woman, and Grayling, a highly developed Alchemist figure from the future, all set in the midst of cast of powerful mythological characters. The dark goddess Kali and the dual-natured Pan epitomise the playing out of Humanity’s dark and light aspects.
Four years later, came my second novel, a love story with contemporary characters who go on a journey of spiritual awakening.
Striding Woman by Esme Ellis
This Strange and Precious Thing, is set on The Island which Plato claimed to be the location of Lost Atlantis. Annya, is a feisty but sceptical young woman on vacation with her photo-journalist boyfriend, Simon, who nurses dreams of becoming a world-class reporter, but instead finds herself caught up in a nightmare and a series of other-worldly phenomena begin breaking into her consciousness.
My most recently published book is Dreaming Worlds Awake; A Miscellany of Stories, Synchronicities, Dreams and Poetry. One reader wrote, “‘This book has the impact of a spiritual depth-charge.” As an author, I couldn’t ask for a deeper response.
Has calamity moved you to creation? A shift of perspective –seeing ourselves. not as victims, but realising that we are the Author of our lives.
The only thing which holds us back is our fear. Step into your Grandeur. The power of miracle is within you. Step forward — claim your Power.
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Visit Esme Ellis’ website www.EsmeEllis.co.uk. Her book page. Esme’s blog.
Category: Contemporary Women Writers, Women Writing Fiction, Women Writing Memoirs
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After reading Esme Ellis’s book ‘Dreaming Worlds Awake” I am smitten by the delightful yet provocative style of communication. Her way of writing encourages you to open your mind to all possibilities, and shows you with a witty sense of humor that we barely scratched the surface of what ‘Life’ really consists of. (ULRIKE)
I also love your choice of phrasing Jo, “our willingness to play with desperate feelings…”. Another amazing woman writer and actually a mentor of mine Kimberly Jentzen (www.kimberlyjentzen.com) was my drama teacher oh so many moons ago in Los Angeles. Her technique for actors is exactly what you describe. I must introduce her to this site too!
Word choices… Personally I found ‘Calamity’ charmingly candid. Perhaps that has to do with my theater background (Calamity Jane…). I think most of us have had experiences which, at the time of their occurrence, most certainly were dramatic and seemed calamitous. Hind sight with its infinite wisdom makes it seem so effortless to tone things down and discuss them dispassionately. I think though that is is important to recall just how raw those experiences felt – especially when we are hoping to reach out to younger audiences. My work as an EFL teacher really brought that home to me. For a pre-teen girl for instance, having the boy she is smitten with laugh at her publicly is an emotional calamity. If at that time you try to make light of it all you succeed in doing is alienating the girl. If, on the other hand, you show understanding without judgment she will find the courage herself to put things in perspective.
Human beings are by nature hyperbolic creatures – particularly those of us fortunate enough to have been born and raised in countries free from extreme social and religious restrictions. It takes decades of overreaction to realize that we are the catalysts of our own lives and thus able to achieve harmony if not balance.
Humor is the highest expression of intelligence, it is cultivated and developed gradually and usually as the result of considerable pain. Even ancient tragedies contained moments of “comic relief”, why? Because humor creates objective distance. You know you’ve made progress when your tears become peals of laughter.
Wise words Victoria, I ponder them and have nothing to add. Except, I read recently from, Kuthumi, the ascended master I work with now, that humour is the highest expression of spiritual consciousness, too.
Having spent over 20 years in the entertainment industry, writing ‘my book’ was always on the list of things to do when I retire. Well, the time came sooner than expected and here I was looking at a lifelong dream- ready to pick up the pencil. I know what you are talking about when you say: ‘I started writing at 60’, but it’s not about age or environment… it’s about your heart being ready to open up and share what’s in it. Allowing yourself to pour your innermost feelings onto a piece of paper and letting it go out into the Universe- another seed of goodness and love…
Hey Esme, It certainly has been a very old pattern to have some event that shakes us up to see things differently. And in a way a lot of literature does that for us to, albeit for the sake of entertainment.
To me its like a pebble landing in still water- the water can seem so still, but send out some ripples and you see its other qualities such as movement and the play of light as it reacts.
“Calamity” is like the ripple- it can make us aware of other qualities within- then its how we choose to make that part of our experience- we can channel into artistic creativity- or we can wallow in being a victim.
To transform that into a creation which inspires and raises an awareness in others, it to me when art becomes sublime.
Speaking of ‘play of light’ – I remembered I’d quoted Picasso in my ‘Dreaming Worlds Awake’; ‘When I was 12 yrs old I painted like Raphael. It’s taken me the rest of my life to learn to paint like a child.’ Recently I’ve been painting just for the fun – spontaniously, painting dragons, and last night I had a little talk with Kuthumi. Here’s a bit of what he said: You are playing with colour – moving it around – and as you do you create more energy – a new and expansive, creative energy – and again a transformation takes place. The movement brings more darkness up to the surface. You open up the curtains on, well – like you’re in front of a child’s theatre – you can’t see what’s behind in the dark, but you open up the curtains on a Stage of Light and set a ‘Play’ in motion.
Maybe it’s when we learn to play – without expectation of applause or rejection – that art becomes, as Adamus said, Art will save the world.
Esme – love that name, btw! – you said that writers often write to entertain. Personally I don’t think writers ever write just to entertain, even if they think they are. There is something about the idea of the story – a message that is handed down through the generations – that makes it special. Humanity has told stories from the very beginning; from oral stories to cave paintings to hieroglyphics to novels and movies. Even video games! I’ve always found it interesting that even the word ‘history’ contains the word, ‘story’. 🙂
Indeed we are the authors of our lives – that is, our destiny. To tell a fictional story is to tell your readers something about destiny (not necessarily in the sense of ‘fate’), whether or not we do so consciously. Thanks for a thought-provoking post.
You make some good and interesting points. How I see it: Good writers who set out to entertain succeed because they’re in touch with their humanity. Thay can make you laugh uproariously, or cry at the human predicament. I take my hat off to them! But – just to illustrate – when spending some weeks alone – gathering experience on The Island which I used as the setting for my ‘Strange and Precious’ book, I longed for a bit of entertainment in the evenings. The local TV was trash, to put it mildly, but there was a shelf-full of paperbacks in my room left behind by other visitors. Desperate for a ‘good read’ I began reading one after another, but after a few pages my frustration grew, and I ended up throwing them across the room. Couldnt believe such rubbish had been published. Sensational bad writing it seems is good for business!
The last book on the shelf was ‘Needful Things’ by Steven King – noted for horror – not my cup of tea – but soon I was hooked. An author I’d dismissed until then, brilliantly handling suspense, drew me into the most poignant and tender love story at the heart of his novel. So I guess it’s the quality of the writing that counts.
Love yr comment on cave painting btw. I’m SO moved by cave art. I wrote about it somewhere (maybe on my blog, or FB where ones deathless prose disappears the same day!) Expression of artistic genious from as far back as 30,000 yrs. Unbelievable!
“Good writers who set out to entertain succeed because they’re in touch with their humanity.”
Good point. Funny you should mention Stephen King. I too am completely uninterested in horror, but both the movies ‘It’ and ‘The Langoliers’ were great stories with strong characters. You’ve reminded me I should read some of his books. The ‘Horror’ label is off-putting for folks like me, and I get the feeling I’ve been missing some good stories as a result.
Strange, but after mentioning Steve King yest. I couldn’t ‘put it to bed’ and woke up still thinking about it. A stranger arrives at a small conservative-minded U.S town and opens a shop – calles it Needful Things. People are drawn to its window and each of them see the one thing in their lives they’ve always coveted. If only they could have it their lives would be changed forever! But it has a high price ticket. Needless to say the stranger is the Devil in disguise. Dont want to spoil it if you haven read it, but Oh boy! does it change their lives. This Steve King really knows a thing or two about what’s lurking below the surface of most folk’s respectable and upright lives. Yet Love is the transformative factor for 2 of its citizens eventually. Brill!(Shouldnt be prasing someone else’s book, should I>)
A good book is a good book. Thanks for the recommendation! 🙂
There is no doubt that Steven King is a master storyteller, albeit in a genre that is not always represented as literature.
The process of breaking down the facade and facing one’s deepest desires in order to eventually be liberated from their allure is the road of the Shaman – human myth and legend are full of such tales. To our ego the teacher often appears as a “devil” forcing us out of our comfort zones! Everyone reproduces their reality – what differs is how conscious we are of that reality.
Once I have started a book I will always finish it (even if it is abysmal) in the hope that there will be a transcendent moment which will redeem the writer’s efforts. True, I have reached the end of many stories with out having encountered that moment but even those situations have things to teach us and are an opportunity for self evaluation.
What is calamity? Your devastating illness might well have been the end for another person, yet for you it brought liberation and expansion. You evolved from pursuit of a solitary art form, sculpture – to the interactive and social art of writing.
Any art form has an element of subjectivity in how it will be perceived by others, but writing offers greater acuity in getting your message across – combined with the opportunity to continually clarify and hone while reaching a much broader audience than a stationary art piece can hope to attract in a lifetime.
This is so true for me! On January 2, 1996, I woke with a flu that lasted for years. During the worst of it, I couldn’t concentrate on a thing & thought I would never get a chance to do the writing I had been putting off. As I recovered, I had multiple pregnancy losses, finances dried up, and a marriage failed. In the midst of that devastation, I started to write and continue to do so. This path has been thrilling, rewarding, frustrating, painful, and wonderful. I feel so alive — and grateful for every moment, even the calamitous ones.
Thanks for sharing your own shamanic journey!
Glad that resonated for you and I so empathise with all the devastating experiences you describe. I used ‘Shamanic’ as an illustration, but its origins go far back into human evolution & consciousness. What I’m hoping to show in my writings, esp. in Dreaming Worlds Awake, is that the path of suffering is no-longer necessary to an awakened state. Now, in 2012 we’re at a pivotal moment in our evolution where we can step out of Old Consciousness and realize our power to Create something New.
My writing came out a need for catharsis and I think I could say that all my spiritual awakening comes from the ‘calamities’ of life. Without these life-changing situations I think I would have drifted on in life half asleep. Thank you for this thought-provoking blog entry.
How interesting Gill that you speak of drifting half asleep. My latest book Dreaming Worlds Awake, is, I feel, my most important book to date. It’s a title that can be seen in several ways; Dreaming Worlds, Awake!for one, but perhaps even more, as I think of it myself, relating to the act of dreaming. Not passively but with Awareness. Spirituality for me is a journey of ever-expanding consciousness, moving out from the ‘normal’ sleeping state in which we mostly drift through life.
‘There are more things in Heaven and Earth…’ Your books, Esme, tap into the Whatever-They-Are in a way which is both inspiring and reassuring – like a big YES to all those impulses we have been encouraged to ignore, but which we feel to be true.
I don’t know which of these two please or encourage me most, the inspiring or the reassuring. In this scientific/material based world we mostly inhabit today, the Other – the Whatever-They-May-Be things are challenging, and frankly rather scary for a lot of people. Taking that leap – going beyond the rational, the intellectual mind is a leap of faith which for some takes courage, and for others .. well, they’ll never discover the amazing potentials which lie beyond. Thank heavens for people like you who are open to taking that leap!
Thanks for writing this piece for us Esme. It’s rich to get the perspectives of different writers, and writers who have experience in other arts as well. Your sculptures are amazing. Writing seems so easy by comparison, not having to melt metal.
Ahhh! Melting metal. The most exhilarating moments of my life were melting bronze in a crucible – then pouring it into my mold. Sheffield my home town has a statue of the god Vulcan atop its most important civic building, and much later in life I ascened to the top of the live volcano on ‘The Island’ which is the setting for my ‘Strange and Precious Thing’ book. Looking down into it was peering into the living heat and fire of the Earth’s crucible itself. But then incorporating experience into writing…. easy? I’m not sure.
You are right of course. No need for anything as dramatic as Calamity, but for myself, I would never have considered turning to writing if this life-changing event hadn’t hit me. I love the way you’ve used “‘play’ with desperate feelings”. I do believe that the ability to ‘Play’ is the mark of a Creator – in whatever medium they choose.
Calamity? I’m not sure I’d use that word to describe the life dramas that have been thrown at me – though there have been some very low points. But I do think that life events are hugely informative to our writing, both in its content and in our willingness to play with desperate feelings.
The best of luck with your writing.