Let’s Talk About (No) Sex, Baby: Writing Closed Door Romance

March 14, 2023 | By | 1 Reply More

Let’s Talk About (No) Sex, Baby: Writing Closed Door Romance

Annie Rains

Romance and sex aren’t synonymous. Not in real life and not in fiction. That’s not to say that they can’t go hand in hand, but if you’re an author who feels more comfortable keeping the spice off the page, that’s okay. You can still create sizzling chemistry between your characters by focusing on emotion and the small flirty gestures that often lead to the bedroom.

Emotions for the win! 

If you want to write romance without the physical intimacy that happens in the bedroom, you’ll need to focus even more on the intimate gestures that happen between your characters that ignite all the flutters and sparks. That first kiss. The brush of a finger against one’s arm. The feel of the two characters holding hands or holding one another. Instead of the scene ending with intercourse, the scene’s peak will be one of these smaller intimate gestures. That means you’ll want to slow down everything that happens leading up to that point, paying attention to your character’s feelings, their breaths, their heartbeats, and their innermost thoughts while creating as much sexual tension as possible.

The Elephant in the Room.

If you’re keeping your characters celibate throughout your book, there should be a reason, whether it’s religious or other, and that reason needs to be clear. Often, in a sweeter romance, if the characters are celibate, they might be just coming out of a bad relationship and their thoughts will let the reader know that they aren’t ready for physical intimacy just yet. That doesn’t mean that they can’t entertain fantasies about taking things all the way with the object of their affection as long as you don’t get into too much detail on the page. 

Show your readers the characters’ attraction to one another and tell them why your characters can’t or won’t act on those desires. Just like the old saying that sex changes things, not having sex also changes things. Two characters who are attracted to one another obviously want to touch in some way. If they’ve already decided in their minds that sex is a no-go, then that adds to the conflict between them. It’s a conflict of its own making. Your characters want to, but they can’t. Maybe they kiss, but they know deep down that going any further would be a mistake. Perhaps your character is an all-or-nothing type and, if they’re not ready for complete physical intimacy, they don’t want any relationship at all. You decide, but make sure your reader is aware. 

A Kiss is Just a Kiss.

Let’s talk about those small intimate gestures that make your characters and your readers sigh out loud. If you build the moment, the payoff for anything, even a wink of an eye, will be electrifying. Building a moment means slowing the scene down and turning your camera’s eye inward. This is a perfect time to delve into deep POV, where you give your readers access into your characters’ real time thoughts—the more angsty, the better the payoff of that final intimate gesture! You’ll only be able to dive into deep POV with one of the characters, but do show what the other half of your couple is feeling. This is where your Emotional Thesaurus can help. Layer on the description to make that final touch or kiss satisfy your readers. That kiss should carry an explosive punch for your characters and your scene. Since your characters, or at least one of them, is saying, “Not tonight,” that kiss is everything. Make it count!

Closing the Door

If your characters aren’t staying celibate, however, and they’re eventually having sex off the page—what we call “Fade to Black”— the scenes still need to amp up with smaller physical gestures before the characters close the door on the reader, leaving everything to their own imagination. In this case, you still need to show consent before that door shuts on the reader. Both characters should agree to what is about to happen between them. You also need to address in a following scene, the emotional aftermath—because, as said earlier, sex changes things even when we’re not seeing it happen on the page.

Writing books on the sweeter side doesn’t mean there aren’t sparks. Sex is optional in a romance novel because romance is about the love story, the characters, and how their relationship changes their lives. Sexual intimacy can be a part of that journey, but it doesn’t have to be. Amp up your characters’ emotions and write their story as sweet or as spicy as you like!

USA Today bestselling author Annie Rains lives in a small, coastal North Carolina town, full of lovable folks, scenic downtown areas, and nature—similar to the towns she writes in her books. Annie’s love of reading and writing books grabbed hold of her at a young age and never let go. Her first book was published in 2015 and she’s been writing heartfelt, page-turning stories ever since. When Annie isn’t writing, she’s reading from her never-ending TBR stack on her bedside table, taking long walks while plotting her characters’ happy endings, and living out her own happily ever after with her husband, three children, feisty rescue cat and mischievous dog. 

Find out more about Annie on her website http://www.annierains.com/

Annie’s latest release, The Good Luck Café, is a sweet small-town romance packed with sparks and easy on the spice. 

THE GOOD LUCK CAFE

Moira Green is perfectly content with her life. She has a rewarding career and plenty of wonderful friends, including the members of her weekly book club. Then everything in her life goes topsy-turvy when the town council plans to demolish the site of her mother’s beloved café to make room for much-needed parking. Moira is determined to save her mother’s business, so she swallows her pride and asks Gil Ryan for help.

Moira and Somerset Lake’s mayor were good friends once, the kind who could laugh at everything and nothing at all. Until one night changed everything between them. And now, with Gil supporting the council’s plans, Moira is forced to find another way to save Sweetie’s—and it involves campaigning against Gil. Going head-to-head in a battle of wills reveals more than either of them are ready for, and as the election heats up, so does their attraction. But without a compromise in sight, can these two be headed for anything but disaster?

BUY HERE 

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  1. Nan says:

    Great article, Annie! I write sweet, but sensual closed-door romance and the tightrope is a tough one to walk sometimes.

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