Leading a Double Life as Author and Mother
I was thrilled when a reporter contacted me to request an interview for Family Circle’s website.
Personal Finance for Teenagers by Tamsen Butler
But, when I had a look at my schedule it was evident that actually getting the interview done was going to take some adjusting.
It turned out that the only time the reporter and I could get together over the phone was the morning I had set aside for my weekly grocery shopping trip. Seeing as I couldn’t send my personal assistant to do my shopping for me (mainly because I don’t have a personal assistant), I wound up taking the call while sitting in my car outside of the grocery store.
So goes my double life. One minute I’m talking about one of my books to a reporter and the next minute I’m speeding through the aisles of a grocery store, trying to get my shopping done before it’s time to pick the kids up from school. It’s a constant balancing act where one minute I’m an author and the next minute I’m imploring my kids to pick up their dirty socks.
My Glamorous Life
If that doesn’t sound incongruous enough, how about this one.
The other day I stopped what I was doing because my phone beeped that I had an email: a website wanted to interview me as a “prominent author.” I had to stop and chuckle because the task I had stopped doing to read the email was cleaning up after my sick cat. Yep. I indeed felt very “prominent” at that particular moment in time.
Women oftentimes find themselves living what feels like double lives. You don’t have to be a professional author to feel as though you’re being pulled in a million different directions – being a woman is enough, really. I’ve found that many people have a distorted view of what authors’ lives are like. Or maybe I just have a distorted view of what people think my life is like?
Author and Mother Tamsen Butler
Not too long ago I met up with some friends at an indoor play area so our kids could frolic. A friend brought along another mom who didn’t seem to want anything to do with any of the rest of us. At some point, however, when she overheard someone asking me about my writing projects, the next thing I knew, this lady was suddenly my BFF. She barraged me with questions about writing, interrogated all the other moms about whether they knew about my profession and why nobody told her about this before.
I don’t know what benefit this lady thought I could offer her now that she knew about my job. It’s not like I can welcome her into a glamorous world free from worries or obligations. If she hangs out she’ll experience spirited children, a messy house, and as an added bonus I might be wearing old yoga pants with a stain or two.
Author, Mom, or Both?
Being an author is great. I get to make appearances and be on the radio and there’s nothing quite like walking into a library or book store and seeing one of my books on a shelf.
When it comes right down to it, though, my primary role is being mom to my kids. When I’m folding laundry or kissing a scraped knee, I’m not Author Tam. I’m Mommy. It’s a weird balancing act, but it’s one that certainly keeps things interesting.
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Category: Contemporary Women Writers, US American Women Writers, Women Writing Non-Fiction
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You know, writing is a wonderful thing, but it’s not THE most important thing in a writer’s life. Ahem, let me correct that: I hope it isn’t THE most important thing in a writers life, because life is just so much bigger than writing. Though as writers, I hope we can find a way to really enjoy our professions.
I am glad that you have found a way to balance motherhood and your career. And boy, are you correct about a writer’s life not being glamorous (unless, I don’t know, you’re Stephanie Meyers or something), and about the balancing act all women have to do, regardless of kids or careers.
Anyway, congratulations on your kids and your “prominent” successes.
Tam, you were on the radio before you were a “prominent author” but back then your life was much less complicated. At that time, instead of unruly offspring, you had to tame a bunch of (not-so)grown-ups and mold them into stars of the stage. Was she a success? If only Tam had written that book down to inspire directors and producers worldwide, we would all know the answer. But I’ll clue the rest of you in on the ending to that story, there were flowers and tears of joy at the end of that production and they weren’t tears of “Thank God that’s over!” I’m grateful for all the women I know, especially my wife because I know that, among other things, I am one of the many things they balance with everything else. 🙂
Thanks, “JustAndy.” I’m throwing some confetti your way. 🙂
No so different from the multiple personalities most women need to survive? Generally keeping the show on the road needs us to spend so much of our time juggling other people’s needs and feelings. I worked in Child Protection for many years, which could also dump on me at inopportune moments. Mostly I find this juggling energising – it’s exciting, keeping all the balls in the air. But, drop one and it feels as if everything will come crashing down.
Bonus Fun Fact: My 7 year old daughter took my profile picture.
I can definitely relate to this! I’m the mother of a 2 year old, so I don’t even have school hours to keep to myself. Somehow (I’m not exactly sure how) I manage to actually write between the constant demands of caring for a toddler 24/7. One minute I’m penning an eyebrow-scorching love scene, and then… Potty training. Oh yeah. I’m living one glamourous life as a romance writer! LOL