My Journey to Publication: Emily Freud 

Like most people who end up writing a book, I always wanted to write a book. As a teenager I grappled with quite debilitating social anxiety, so books and TV were my escape. I was indoctrinated through series like Sweet Valley High and Point Horror in my early adolescence, and then devoured all the ‘chick-lit’ I could get my hands on in the nineties. I am still floored by nostalgia when I see a cover from that period. I am very thankful to all the authors that took me out of my reality, a place where I never felt quite right. 

I wrote a lot in my twenties – a few blogs and my friend’s online magazine, Don’t Panic. I had a monthly column where he’d set me up on a date with a band or singer, and then I’d write an amusing column about it. We created a persona for me – a bit ditzy, never having a clue who the person was on a date with. I went to Nando’s with Lethal Bizzle, and hung out with Example on his music video shoot. It was all very tongue-in-cheek. I loved writing the column – I’d never felt satisfaction like it, coming up with a witty line, a twisty sentence that rolled off the tongue. 

During this period, I tried many times to write a book but the negative voice in my head always got too much, and I gave up.  Looking back, I wasn’t ready. I needed more life experience – and I also needed to find myself. I was very lost, and finally towards the end of the decade I had a breakdown. It was a long and drawn-out and I felt nothing but relief when I finally hit my rock bottom at twenty-eight. Luckily – this was just the beginning. 

By the time I sat down to write a novel again I was in my early 30s. I worked in television, and I was about to get married. Like many others during the 2010’s I’d started reading psychological thrillers – I couldn’t put them down. I loved the thrilling feeling as you turned the page, eager to find out how threads would tie up. I also found the complex characters and their behaviour in extreme situations fascinating. I knew instinctively this was my genre. 

The black clouds were long gone, and I had a better understanding of the world around me, and myself. I could reflect on things clearly. I had a career in television under my belt which gave me a good understanding of narrative, of editing, of story producing. I was armed with tools I didn’t have during those early attempts. 

This time when I sat down to write it just seemed to pour out of me. Scene after scene, character movements felt natural, and I wasn’t scared of not having all the answers straight away. One day I sat up and told my husband – I’ve finished it. I had a beginning, middle and end. What now? he asked. I honestly didn’t know! He read it said it was good – I didn’t believe him. I sought advice from a friend’s author mother. She suggested I speak to a professional book reader for notes. I didn’t know such a thing existed but decided to give it a go. I waited with bated breath for my manuscript to return, expecting it to have been ripped to shreds. But the notes were positive with some brilliant practical feedback – for ‘before it goes to agents.’ To agents – REALLY? I couldn’t believe it. 

I was galvanised to give it one more draft before I did the unthinkable and followed her advice. Blimey. Right then. I pulled up my sleeves and did what every TV Producer knows how to do and made myself a spreadsheet. I googled every agent I could find who was asking for psychological thrillers and added them into my neat little table. I sent out my agonised-over cover letter along with the first three chapters of my book. 

The wait was fraught with email page refreshes. Lots of ‘no thank you, not for me’ rejections and quite a few requests for full that got my hopes up and then faded into the abyss. Publishing urban myths kept me going – did you know The Help got rejected 66 times? I went from causally deciding to see if anyone wanted to represent me – to desperately praying they would. 

Finally, when I’d nearly lost hope something magical happened. 

I was walking across The Millennium Bridge pushing my six-month-old son in the pram having one of those London moments. The skies were a chilly bright blue and the city glistened in all its glory. Then my phone began to ring with a number I didn’t recognise. I held it to my ear: Emily, I’ve got your pages. You must send me the rest this afternoon. I was taken aback and then she introduced herself – I’m Teresa Chris, and I’m going to be your fairy godmother and get you published.

And from that second Teresa’s confidence in my writing has never waned. Even through the many rejections of that first novel she tried to sell which never did find a home. There were plenty of near misses. But the feedback I was given pushed me on to keep going and I decided to write something new. 

This time when I sat down to write – I knew I had to write about something I’d avoided the first-time round: My twenties. I actually got the kernel of the idea on my wedding day. I was five years sober at the time. I couldn’t help thinking, what if just as I got my happy ending everything fell apart? My debut opens with my main character being left at the altar. Kate’s journey is very much fictional – but I used my experiences getting sober to get underneath her skin. 

When Teresa called me to say Quercus were publishing it, I couldn’t believe it. And now two years after getting that deal and four years after writing my first book, My Best Friend’s Secret, is due to come out in paperback on the 22nd of July. 

If your dream is to have a book published you have to accept it is a journey – and it is rare to find a straight course to it. It is full of highs, lows, anti-climaxes, self-doubt, imposter syndrome… the lot. You have to have patience, gratitude and a lot of passion. 

The main thing I am proud of is that I kept with it. And that the second book I wrote actually ended up being my debut. 

—

 Emily Freud has spent her career working in television production and development. Credits include Emmy and BAFTA award winning television series including Educating Yorkshire and First Dates. Her debut novel My Best Friend’s Secret publishes in 2021. Emily lives in North London, with her husband and two small children. She is currently working on her next novel.

Twitter: @MsEmilyFreud

Instagram: @emilyfreud_

Website: emilyfreud.com

MY BEST FRIEND’S SECRET

How do you escape a past you can’t remember?

‘Had me gripped from the start’ 5* reader review
‘An outstanding debut’ 5* reader review
‘Such a mega page-turner’ 5* reader review

Kate Sullivan has a beautiful home, a job she loves and a handsome fiancé: all she’d ever dreamed of since getting sober and painstakingly piecing her life back together.

But a chance encounter with her old best friend Becky threatens Kate’s newfound and fragile happiness. Kate remembers nothing of their last drunken night out, the night Becky broke off their friendship without warning or explanation.

With Becky back in her life, Kate is desperate to make amends for the past. For the closure she craves, Kate needs to know what she did that ruined everything. But what if the truth is worse than Kate could have imagined?

‘A clever tale of how our demons shape our lives’ ALEXANDRA SHULMAN
‘Gut-wrenching and powerful’ CHARLOTTE DUCKWORTH
‘Beautiful writing and devastating twists’ MIRANDA SMITH
‘A real, clever page-turner. Dare I say addictive’ TINA BAKER

***Previously published as Closure***

Tags: featured, women writers

Category: Contemporary Women Writers, How To and Tips