On Writing A Memoir by Sandra CH Smith

Good grief…write a  memoir? Unwrap all the little boxes and let the dark secrets out?  Let them all know who I really am or was? You’ve gotta be kidding! No way, Jose!  Well, that’s what I thought when someone suggested I write a book about the seven years I spent sailing alone in the  Pacific. Naturally, it would have to include what led up to buying the sailboat when I had no clue about sailing and had almost been drowned three times in the Pacific as a kid.

And of course, it would have to include the marital discord, the head-on collision that sent me over the line from controlled drinking to alcoholism, and the suicide attempt.  The miracle of recovery from the dreaded disease of alcoholism would come next; then the neat part about that 2,555-day spiritual odyssey I would embark on with eight years of sobriety tucked into my new life jacket.

So, why did I start writing the memoir?  The idea was actually tossed at me one freezing night when I was trying to get my boat around Point Sur on the California Coast during a terrible storm.  I had two women aboard who had signed on as crew, but they were a big mistake. As soon as we left the safety of the Monterey Harbor, they disappeared below and refused to come up.

One had made me delay my departure by two weeks so she could get a tummy-tuck and then arrived with a ton of luggage and sporting long fake nails. How she was going to pull up sails and tie knots with those talons was beyond me. The other wasn’t much use, either.  So I was at the helm from 8:00 a.m. to well into the night as they wouldn’t leave their bunks even to look at the chart to tell me where we were.

Sometime around  3:00 a.m., I saw a ghastly creature sitting on the boom and realized it was the ghost of the marriage past. I chased it away, knowing that was a well-needed final gesture on my part, and then I said aloud to the Universe or God or Allah or Buddha….”So, what do you want me to do after I get rid of these two useless crew? Sail to ports unknown, alone?  And then what?”  A distinct answer came bounding down: “Write to glorify my name!”  I replied, “Glorify? What the  heck does that mean.” No answer, but I somehow knew that the Higher Power I had taken aboard from my 12-Step recovery program was going to be teaching me a lot on this odyssey. 

And so, I began a log book for each year of the adventure, making copious notes on whom I met, who helped me or whom I helped, where I anchored, why I stayed in different anchorages for days, sometimes weeks…and mostly, what I was learning about our beautiful Universe and about myself. Seven years later, I had navigated over 4,000 nautical miles, mostly alone and sometimes with my rebellious teenaged daughter, using just a compass, a chart and a prayer.

I had braved some of the worst storms of the century and safely escaped drug dealers chasing my boat and pirates trying to rob me. From somewhere near the Polynesian Triangle, I sailed back north to Puerto Vallarta, sold the boat in two seconds, and ended up by magic in Eureka Springs, Arkansas where I created what would become a very successful five-star B&B Inn.  Once the business was booming, I had plenty of time to start what I had been putting off for a number of years…The Memoir! 

The seven log books were filled with fodder for the book, but it was my memory I had to wrack to be able to share with my readers why I left what every woman could possibly want, including a very successful career as a journalist,  to protect my new-found sobriety. Sharing the story of one’s recovery from whatever addiction is at once a blessing and a curse. Writing about those painful final days before recovery brings up a lot of feelings and often remorse.

But it is in the telling of one’s recovery that fills the pages with faith, hope and courage.  Not long into the writing, I realized that not only was I sharing my adventures at sea, I was also sharing the adventure of healing, of re-birth, of a glorious second chance at life that I had been blessed with on that dark night when I  had tried to end it all. And I also realized that the memoir wasn’t being written just to share a struggle–it was being written to share a solution for other women who were inevitably facing a possible end of their lives through addiction.

At my desk in the inn kitchen, close to the coffeepot and generous supply of cookies and fudge,  I would sit almost every morning after I had delivered breakfasts to inn guests, pouring over the log books and sifting through the memories.  What to include? what to leave out?  Who to include and who to gently rebuff? It didn’t seem to matter, as long as I just kept writing.

My fingers would fly across the keys as the material seemed to flow through me onto the page from some invisible source. If I had a question as to how much detail I should include about something, I would stop and meditate and ask the Universe or You-Know-Who whether or not to include it all.  The answer always came. The main criterion was: Will this help someone?  Sometimes,  I would still be at the desk well into the night. I  didn’t seem to need food for the body as I was nourishing the soul. When The Memoir was finished, I hoped it would nurture others seeking a path forward.

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Sandra CH Smith has adventure in her DNA. She is the author of Out of the Fog! A Story of Survival, Faith and Courage, a memoir of how marital discord, alcoholism and recovery led to a mostly solo seven-year sailing adventure in the Pacific. Sandra taught herself to sail, and from San Francisco to the Polynesian Triangle somewhere near Easter Island, she navigated using only a compass, a chart and a prayer. Her spiritual odyssey rooted her in an unshakeable fearlessness and a new joy-filled life.

Sandra lives in Arizona’s High Sonoran Desert with her husband Carl Rohne (also an author) and their senior one-eyed little rescue doggy, Albert. When Sandra’s not working on a new book or performing in a theatrical production, she spends her days concocting exotic recipes and her nights stargazing.

Find out more about her on her website https://sandrachsmith.com/

OUT OF THE FOG!: A STORY OF SURVIVAL, FAITH AND COURAGE, Sandra CH Smith

Sandra CH Smith had everything…marriage, children, elegant home, exciting social life and a successful journalism career. But
when a motorist hit her head on, she suffered for almost a year as a recluse with long-term retrograde amnesia. Cognac and French wine soon took insidious control. At 35, she fearfully opened the door of a 12-Step recovery program. Two years later, with a shared-custody arrangement in place, to protect and nourish her hard-won sobriety, Smith walked away with just $600 in her pocket to rebuild her life.

At eight years sober, with no knowledge of sailing, the author bought a 35-foot sailboat and taught herself to sail. Without electronics or radar, she embarked mostly alone, occasionally with her rebellious teenaged daughter, on the 2,555-day adventure with just a compass, a chart and a prayer. The spiritual odyssey gave mother and daughter a chance to begin healing their fragile relationship. Smith’s book offers a heart-warming, sometimes humorous, sometimes terrifying testament to triumph over adversity.

“Out of the Fog!” provides painful but compelling insights into overcoming addiction as well as solving relationship issues. The book illustrates the power of hope, faith and courage in facing the difficulties of recovery and in healing relationships. It is an intimate narrative of how a woman tackled life-threatening challenges on land and at sea and emerged strong, fearless and independent.

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