On Writing: You’re Stronger Than You Think

“You’re stronger than you think, and fiercer than you ever dreamed” ~ getting published takes bravery, persistence, and a stubborn streak.

I was so lucky that one of my favorite writers, USA Today bestselling author, Abbi Waxman (The Bookish Life of Nina Hill and the upcoming Adult Assembly Required, among others) generously agreed to blurb my upcoming book, Welcome to the Neighborhood. As a debut, that kind of support meant the world to me. 

I know, I know, her quote, “Touching and deeply satisfying—you’re stronger than you think and fiercer than you ever dreamed!” was meant to describe my main character, Ginny Miller, the single mom who raised her daughter on her own, and then moved into an upscale suburban town only to find herself battling with its badly behaving neighbors—but I can’t help but feel like Abbi was whispering in my ear. Ok, that’s wishful thinking. But at this moment in my life, when my debut novel is about to be published, after twelve years of pushing that boulder up the hill, those words really resonate with me. 

I took my first writing class at fifty (please don’t do the math.) I went once a week to a small, overheated room in an old church and learned how to put pen to paper—to Just Write, as the class was called—a scary concept for so many would-be writers—even one who had been an advertising copywriter for many years. 

Soon after I realized I didn’t perish from putting my words on the page, or reading my work out loud, I stepped up to writing short stories. And then, bolstered by having gotten over that hill, I tried my first novel.

It was a fantastic premise—about a couple who splits up and fights over custody of their dog—but a terrible first effort. And agents were quick to tell me so. My first reaction was flight over fight. Just give it all up and take a flower arranging class. But I reconsidered. I realized that I had so much to learn about writing a book that would entice an agent. So, I dusted myself off and didn’t take it personally. 

Then came the next manuscript, and the next manuscript, and I was having a hard time believing it wasn’t one of those “it’s not you, it’s me” situations. I racked up a few hundred rejections while querying those books. That would have been the perfect time to quit. But, dear reader, as you can tell from the info at the bottom of this page, I didn’t.

Writing takes bravery. From the moment you pen your first sentence, to the day a happy reader asks you to sign your published book. There are so many places along that way where you can get spooked, and like a frighted horse, head for the barn. 

It takes bravery to let yourself be vulnerable on a page (no matter what genre you write,) to finish a project, to let someone who isn’t your husband read it. It also takes resilience to face the critiques, the rejections, the bad reviews, and less than stellar sales numbers. And keep going.

I didn’t realize I was being brave until I read Abbi’s quote. I thought I was being stubborn. Maybe a little pig-headed. And a skoosh naïve. I told myself, I was trying to set a good example for my kids—teaching them not to give up. 

But like all of us, I was afraid I wasn’t good enough, afraid of rejection, afraid of failing. And somedays I just wanted to give it all up. I’d been at it just so dang long. 

Here’s what I did instead. I felt the fear and did it anyway, as Susan Jeffers says. 

I got back up on my feet. Again. I took a novel writing workshop; I found a great hook for a new story, and I wrote one more book. Oh, I still got a bunch of rejections, but ultimately, I signed with my dream agents. Dream agents. Plural. They sold my book in a two-book deal to a great publisher. My novel is going to be on a shelf, and someone is going to ask me to sign it for them! 

Bravery is hard. And scary. It’s so much easier not to stick your neck out. To let someone else work themselves ragged with no promise of success. But you know what they say about the shots you don’t take. 

So, write that piece, finish that draft, send out that query, soldier on after that rejection. If you don’t listen to me, listen to Abbi. She’s right. You are stronger than you think and fiercer than you ever dreamed.

—

Lisa Roe spent many years as an advertising creative director and copywriter in New York City until she accepted the tougher job of stay-at-home mom and turned to writing fiction — mostly to entertain her kids, but then to tell her own stories. Her debut women’s fiction, Welcome to the Neighborhood (Sourcebooks) is out April 5th. You can find Lisa at lisaroe.com or on Twitter and Instagram at @lisaroewrites

WELCOME TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD

A heartwarming and life-affirming story of family dynamics, mother/daughter relationships, and second chances—perfect for fans of Maria Semple and Abbi Waxman.

After years of struggling to make ends meet, Queens single mom Ginny falls for sweet, divorced Jeff, and relishes the idea of moving with her quirky eleven-year-old daughter Harri to his home in an upscale New Jersey suburb. Though she’s never been impressed by material things, she is thrilled that getting a second chance at love comes with the added bonus of finally giving Harri everything she never could before.

And then she meets the neighbors.

Ginny is quickly thrust into the complicated realities of a neighborhood defined by the ever-shifting alliances of PTA moms, Real Housewife contenders, and their mean-girl daughters. When the neighbors’ secrets, back-stabbing, and bad behavior take a devastating toll on her daughter and new marriage, Ginny must decide what really matters—and protect it at all costs.

BUY HERE

 

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Category: How To and Tips