Priming the Writing Pump: Dolls as My Muse
On days the words didn’t flow, I made dolls. It wasn’t an escape; it was my method of priming the pump to access messages that were trying to come through. It was a way to step easily into creative flow, an act of physically manifesting my muse.
I had devoted seven years to a rich and informative process of healing through making dolls. I worked with my shadow, with grief and anger; I learned compassion for my wounded self, and defined the many gifts I’d gained on my journey. Doll making was a profound, gentle and enjoyable healing modality for working through trauma.
This is not new. Dolls have been used throughout history as repositories for intense feeling, and doll-making as a way of doing deep, informative work. For thousands of years, people have been creating representations of the human figure made of stone, clay or wood, believing these creations are imbued with mysterious, powerful forces, mightier than our own. There’s evidence from Paleolithic times that women created dolls imbued with magic powers for good, using them in rituals to command elements of nature. Certainly, if dolls could guide a healing process and were known to hold magical powers, then creating dolls could inspire my writing.
I needed the inspiration. I was writing a memoir about healing from rape. While I wrote my book to offer hope and healing for others, the writing required me to dig beneath the uplifting message I wished to relay. After twenty-eight years of physical, emotional and spiritual healing, I felt there was a chance I could accomplish this task without much emotional turmoil. I was wrong. After all, I was dredging up trauma, examining it, sifting and organizing the pieces, attempting to give clear voice to my journey.
I needed a container for my emotion—one that aptly represented what I was feeling and could reflect it back to me. There’s something magical about dolls. For me, it was the tilt of a head, the way a doll held her shoulders or propped her chin, the expression on her face. These details spoke to my emotions. In the creation process, a figurative image emerged from my imagination that I could engage and communicate with. It was an invitation to pay attention to some neglected part of myself—some underlying theme, or subconscious belief.
I realized early on in my healing journey that I needed a structure to do this work—a stepping in point and a compass to navigate the creative process. The way I primed the pump was to go into a meditative state and call to my muse. I asked her to reveal herself fully, to share with me her favorite colors, textures, defining features, and expressions. I sketched the image; then I did my best to recreate her in three dimensions.
I communicated with this muse through journaling during the creation process and beyond, asking for and listening to the messages she brought. Sometimes, creating led to frustration, but instead of letting this deter me, I learned to lovingly work with whatever appeared, allowing it—through artistic expression—to inform my process, to teach me what I most needed to know. In this way, the dolls inspired my writing which, in turn, enhanced creative flow.
Granted, this way of writing and intermittent creating required time, but in my view, it was time well spent. Rather than remaining stuck with my writing, I could funnel my emotion into a doll for safe holding or for wise feedback that would lead, once again, to writing flow.
I had imagined that I would move on to other forms of creativity once I felt complete with my healing process, but the human figure is immensely informative and kept appearing as my muse.
If you feel stuck with your writing, perhaps it’s time you prime your pump through your own creative process. It can be as simple as a drawing or a paper doll. Allow it to hold the emotion of the moment in any way that it flows through you, trusting that what appears is just what you need. Ask questions of your creation, journal with it, let it inform you and your writing. You’re likely to be pleasantly surprised by who appears, by messages shared, and by the writing that emerges.
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Anne Reeder Heck is a speaker, healer, and artist devoted to inspiring and guiding women to trust themselves, open to their intuitive guidance, and experience the magic of life through ceremony, positive intention, and a creative and curious spirit. At age twenty-six, Anne was brutally raped by a stranger. In her forthcoming memoir A Fierce Belief in Miracles, Anne shares her story of healing—demonstrating the importance of clear intention and trusting inner guidance, revealing the transformative power of forgiveness, and lighting the way for those seeking to recover from their own traumas. You can learn more and see her healing dolls at www.anneheck.com
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A FIERCE BELIEF IN MIRACLES
When faced with overwhelming hardship, what we believe makes all the difference. At age twenty-six, Anne Reeder Heck was attacked by a stranger and brutally raped. Years later, still seeking to heal the remnants of this trauma, Anne stands alone in her living room one winter day and claims her desired belief aloud: “This is my year of strength.”
Her clear intention results in a phone call; her rapist has been identified―fourteen years after the crime. Offering all the gripping and uplifting details of a story that sparked national interest―Heck appeared on the front page of The Washington Post and was interviewed by Diane Sawyer on Good Morning America―A Fierce Belief in Miracles lights the way for those seeking to heal from life’s traumas by demonstrating the importance of clear intention and trusting inner guidance, and the transformative power of forgiveness.
BUY THE BOOK HERE
Category: On Writing
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